AITA for not inviting my kid’s whole class to his birthday party?

A Reddit user shared a story about throwing a small, budget-friendly birthday party for her 8-year-old son, inviting only his closest friends and treating the rest of the class to cupcakes and juice.

Despite her efforts to avoid hurt feelings, some parents were upset their kids weren’t invited, and the complaints have lingered for months. Was the mom wrong for keeping the party small, or were the other parents overreacting?

Read the full story below to weigh in!

‘ AITA for not inviting my kid’s whole class to his birthday party?’

I(28F) am a mother of a wonderful 8 years old son. This whole thing happened last April, but I am still getting complaints. So here I am asking strangers for a judgement on the internet.

So last year was my kid’s first year in “big kids’ school” like he calls it, since his first grade coincided with the pandemic. We are not in the best place financially; like most families, our consumer debt piled on and we are throwing every spare cent at it.

So when it was time to throw him a party, I only invited 5 of his classmates, the ones he considered his friends. For the others I sent 2 dozen cupcakes and juice boxes to class.
The invites were delivered to their houses and not in front of the other kids. Like I said, money was tight so I got creative. I made 9 small cakes (box cakes, vanilla, chocolate and funfetti), buttercream in different colours.

Also made big sugar cookies and different coloured frosting and sprinkles. And finally bought tortillas, made pizza sauce and had a variety of toppings. I asked that the kids bring swimsuits and water guns.

We had a make your own pizza station for lunch, then they played with their water guns. Then they decorated their cakes and finally their cookies to take home with them. That was a Saturday.

Well the next Monday, the kids would not stop raving about how fun the party was, how it was the best birthday party ever. The other kids were not happy to not be invited.

At pick up Tuesday, a couple moms confronted me about not inviting their kids. I said that I am sorry, but it was a small party for his close friends only. They kept complaining about me excluding their kids.

I didn’t take it seriously then, but now it is a new school year, almost 6 month later, and I am still getting the occasional comment thrown at me. So AITA?

Check out how the community responded:

zukolover96 −  NTA. You invited FIVE children. I am honestly boggled at any parents that think it’s okay to confront you about the fact their child was not invited. That is absurd honestly.

angethorp −  NTA. I wouldn’t invite the whole class either. They loved it because it was different. And if nobody’s told you of late, you’re an awesome mum xx

munchkin0501 −  NTA. Teacher opinion here- as long as the invites were given outside of school (which you stated they were) then you’re fine. It’s one thing to give specific students invitations in front of everyone but you can’t control what kids are going to talk about 🤷🏼‍♀️

Magaimagado −  I have never ever heard of a birthday party involving the whole class. Those complaining are just jealous and think their kid is entitled to all the birthday parties. NTA

squigs −  Well, if you only excluded one or two they’re going to feel left out… oh, you didn’t. Well, you shouldn’t hand out the invitations in school… oh you didn’t. Those are the only two reasons that might tip you to the AH side of things.. NTA

girlandagun −  NTA. You did everything right. You sent treats for the class, you sent invitations to private homes rather than inviting kids at school, and it sounds like you gave your son a fantastic, creative party on a shoestring budget.

You’re a good mom. You can’t control that the party was such fun that the kids still wanted to talk about it on Monday, and you are under no obligation to invite everyone in the class over to your home.. Edit: spelling

Used-Atmosphere2422 −  NTA for throwing your son a wholesome and creative party. You’re not obligated to invite the whole class.

RedDevRedemptionn −  NTA, it’s crazy how f**king entitled some parents are and I’m sorry you had to deal with that

MarsupialScrutiny −  NTA, maybe I’m just not familiar with this aspect of american culture, but why would you want kids you don’t consider your friends to be in your birthday party? Or why would I want to be invited to a birthday party of a kid from class I barely know? I say the party eas better the way you did it

LuxSerafina −  Unless im missing something, NTA AT ALL. You have every right to determine the budget and activities for your kid and his close friends. The moms who are bitching need to grow up and teach their children the world doesn’t revolve around them.

Good on you for coming up with such a fun party day that the kiddos were raving about it! Their mothers should take notes instead of making you feel guilty!

Was the mom justified in hosting a small party for her son’s closest friends, or should she have tried to include the whole class? How would you handle the pressure from other parents in this situation?

Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments below!