Teacher [40sF] called me[19F] out in front of the class, asking if I am an adult and making me admit I don’t have $10 to spend on school supplies

A Reddit user shared their concerns about their sister’s upcoming destination wedding, which has caused tension within their family. The wedding requires significant travel expenses, making it difficult for many relatives to attend, and the user feels their sister isn’t considering the impact on others.

After expressing their worries, the sister accused them of ruining her happiness, and now other family members are siding against the user. To find out more about the situation and how others have responded, read the full story below…

‘ Teacher [40sF] called me[19F] out in front of the class, asking if I am an adult and making me admit I don’t have $10 to spend on school supplies’

This isn’t the most important or dramatic thing ever, but I’m really upset right now and I don’t know what to do. I’m in a figure sculpting class at my community college, and I’ve been having a hard time. I’ve never worked in clay before, let alone made figure sculptures out of it. Good clay was expensive at the store she recommended we go to,

and it was a large heavy block so I was under the impression we didn’t need to buy more. I just smashed all of my work when we were done, I didn’t like them anyway. There has been a piece here and there where my teacher (I’ll say Mary) has asked if I want to fire them (put them in a furnace to harden them).

I always said no, I need the clay from the piece because I can’t afford to buy more. She assured me she has recycled clay, that I should keep some of my pieces, but I didn’t want to. I’m also having a hard time financially. I work a job slightly above min wage, and I’m not given many hours. I’m struggling at that job, too, and that’s been a great source of stress for me.

I haven’t been the biggest fan of Mary so far. She hasn’t taught this class before, and for people who’ve never used clay in their life, I didn’t feel like she explained enough about the medium, she just threw us in and got irritated when we didn’t know what we were doing. When we ask for help (even if we don’t ask), she shoves you aside and works on your piece.

This includes tearing it out, using tools to scratch at the clay, smashing more clay on to whatever you were working on. In my figure drawing class, the most that teacher would do was gesture with her finger what needed to be done. That’s all. Mary also has given people s**t for the whole semester. People ask innocent questions, and she answers in a mocking way.

I was sitting in a chair once, because my clay was set up on something short, and she ranted about how we shouldn’t be lazy and our sculptures aren’t going to be good and we aren’t good artists if we aren’t standing with the model. She tried to make my sculpting stand taller, but then it was too tall, so I ended up sitting the rest of the class so I could reach my piece.

Now, with the added impression that I’m lazy. She then said I should have gotten there earlier so I could get a sculpting stand that worked. Today, someone ran out of their clay. She has always said she has recycled clay, so I don’t think anyone thought it would be a huge deal. After giving her a hard time, she went to check and came back saying she was out of recycled clay.

She asked “do your other art classes ask you to buy supplies?” People said yes. “Then it’s no different here, you need to come to class prepared.” Which is fine, but the bag of clay I bought at the beginning of the semester was $20. I felt bad for the girl who had no clay now, but when I went to get my clay out I found that it had hardened in my locker over the weekend.

I’ve seen her help someone whose clay hardened before, so I asked for her help. She gets PISSED. She goes to say something to me, stops, then starts pacing around the room. “Are you guys adults? Like, are you? I am DONE talking to you guys about your clay, you need to grow up and sort it out yourself. You need to go buy more clay, it’s $10 at the bookstore.”

I never knew it was cheaper there, but I literally have no money this week. She looks at me and tells me specifically to go buy more clay. I ask, “right now?” She says, “unless you’re just going to sit there all day.” I say I literally do not have the money to go buy clay. She stops, bends over, makes a dramatic frustrated noise and paces around some more.

I’m bewildered because it’s not like I KNEW my clay would be hard when I came back to class. I say I’m sorry, and she comes back asking if me and the other girl can share a bag of clay. The other girl says yes, and Mary says she is going to front us the money and buy us some clay, then storms out. I’m just sitting there, people staring at me and I can feel myself start to tear up.

I usually try to be humorous in awkward situations, but when I went to speak the only thing I could say was “great, I just had to admit to everyone that I don’t have ten f**king dollars.” I started to actually cry, so I just muttered that I should just leave, and grabbed my stuff.

People said not to, that she was getting more clay, that they could give me money, but that just upset me more and I didn’t want Mary to come back to me sobbing. I left. I realized I left my partner without someone to sculpt. I feel really bad, but I just didn’t want to be around Mary anymore, and I didn’t want to take anything from her.

I would rather skip a day than owe her money. It also f**king sucks to know that I was once making good money at my last jobs, but I made the stupid decision of trying to find a non-seasonal job and now I’m f**king broke. I’ve been trying my hardest to keep up having a job and going to school, but I’m really struggling this semester and this didn’t help.

I guess my question is now what do I do? I really don’t want to face her again, and silently pretend nothing happened, but I would be wasting the entire semester so far to drop the class now. My fiancé gets paid tomorrow, so if I ask him for money he will buy me more clay, but I feel s**tty already asking him to pay for my share of the bills.

And I don’t want to come to class with a bag of new clay, because knowing her she would call me out saying I had the money all along. This is a class that I needed to get a certificate here, and as far as I know she’s the only one who teaches it. What do I do?

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

[Reddit User] −  Given her behavior, I would try speaking to the department head about this.

dneronique −  Ugh. Ok. I’ll be that person. This is college, not high school. Everyone here is telling you to go to your department head right away. This is high school mentality. Your teacher is right, you are an adult now, and you need to be able to handle thing on your own. The fact she did it in an unappealing way is something you’re better off knowing how to handle now than later.

Spoiler alert: adult life is full of angry people that treat you unfairly for apparently no reason at all, and being prepared is 100% your responsibility, even when mistakes happen. Especially when mistakes happen. The sooner you learn to ‘own up’ to these situations, the better you’ll handle it in the future.

It doesn’t get any easier, because the older you get the more people expect from you. The fear and anticipation you have about going back to that class is pure cowardice. Learn to turn that fear into anger. Before you go tattling to the department head, I would confront this teacher directly – I suggest email so you can have time to form your thoughts cooly and if her response is s**tty you have a ‘paper’ trail to bring as evidence.

Apologize – yes *apologize* – for not being prepared and say that you weren’t fully aware of her expectations of preparedness, and that your lack of experience with clay has lead to an unfortunate lack of supplies. Mention how mortified you were. Lay out two or three things *you’re* willing to do to help prevent that situation in the future.

Then *request* two or three things from her to help you succeed in the class: advice on how to keep clay from hardening, how to recycle it efficiently, or ask where the cheapest places to buy good quality clay are. Finish off with a note that money is unfortunately tight for you, but are willing to make the effort as long as she remains understanding.

If she doesn’t respond, ask her in person if she got the email. If the response is bitchy, *then* go to the department head. The email will serve as a good piece of evidence in your back pocket. Otherwise, it’s your word against hers.

thefeelofempty −  “She then said I should have gotten there earlier so I could get a sculpting stand that worked. ” no, there should be enough equipment to go around to begin with. how cheap is your school?

[Reddit User] −  The department head needs to know this so it doesn’t comtinue. People are paying money and not learning anything. If the department head doesn’t take it seriously, go on up the ladder. If you reach the top and still don’t get help, take it public. Facebook, Twitter. I wish I had done this with my communitu college art teacher. She was awful.

Things that are important, she did not spend time discussing the medium or covering the basics. She pushes people aside to work on their pieces for them without asking for permission or being invited, and she doesn’t explain why either. She doesn’t specify how much supply you’ll need of clay or tools.

When people complain about running out of clay she offers her own recycled clay, but then it turns put she doesn’t have any. She publicly humiliated you, a paying student, for not being able to afford more clay when she didn’t say how much you’ll need. You are not just complaining for you, you are also protecting future students.

smokebreak −  I dunno, sounds like your teacher was kind of a j**k, but I can see where she is coming from. She is probably dealing with unprepared adult students all day every day and that s**t gets tiring. She is probably not making very much either. Hell, she might not even have $10 extra to cover you and lashed out due to her own embarrassment of not being able to help.

On the other hand… it is *solely* your responsibility to 1. have the necessary materials and 2. maintain those materials in a way that ensures they’re ready to use when you need them. It’s like running out of gas on the road… it should never happen and the responsibility falls squarely on you. But you probably shouldn’t get a traffic ticket for it or shamed by the cop.

colakoala200 −  I’m sorry about the class, obviously Mary didn’t handle that in the best way, but I can understand her frustration, art teachers especially often get shafted when it comes to the cost of art supplies. I most wanted to comment on this, however: My fiancé gets paid tomorrow, so if I ask him for money he will buy me more clay, but I feel s**tty already asking him to pay for my share of the bills.

It’s good that you want to pull your own weight, but you shouldn’t feel guilty that your fiance helps you out. You’re in school and unemployed right now. Also, when you get married you become a unit financially… him keeping you supplied for your education is part of what the team needs to get done. If you’re going to get married you might as well start to get used to the idea.

onetwofee −  I also had an overly emotional dickish art teacher who sometimes taught our ceramics glass. I done 3 years of ceramics and we had recycled clay coming out of our ears. Literally! I think it’s a good idea to speak to your department head or a trusted teacher. I’d also question why why the hell you’re paying to be taught by someone who has never taught this class before.

When you dust yourself off, try to collect your clay when you know she won’t be there. There’s loads of advice on how to soften hardened clay online. You can see which way will work with what you have.

The only method I ever used involved soaking it overnight then drying the slop on a plaster slab which you probably won’t have. We were all so poor in our college class and our teachers understood. I’m sorry she’s turned this into a stressful experience for you.

captainslowww −  I’m not sure what specific advice to give you; you seem reluctant to go over her head about this, which is understandable but doesn’t give us much to work with. For what it’s worth, this woman sounds like a heinous b**ch who has absolutely no business being a teacher– or used to, but completely forgot why she’s supposed to be there.

Does your school do student evaluations of teachers? They might call it something different. If you give specific, calm, unemotional descriptions of events where she has acted inappropriately, they’re more likely to take your complaints seriously than if you just come off as a disgruntled student– particularly if other people do too. And, of course, there’s always Rate My Professor.

[Reddit User] −  Are you pursuing an arts degree? Given the limited means you’ve described, I’d personally stick to the so-called “core curriculum” needed for you to move on and up in life