Well apparently my [27M] “girlfriend” of 5 months [30F] is happily married with two children

A 27-year-old man discovers that his girlfriend of five months has been hiding a shocking secret: she is married with two children. After uncovering her deceit through Facebook, he is devastated to realize he was unknowingly the “other man.” He feels disgusted by her actions and determined to inform her husband about the affair. Read the full story to understand his plan and the moral dilemma he faces.

‘ Well apparently my [27M] “girlfriend” of 5 months [30F] is happily married with two children’

Five months ago I met this great woman at a bar. She was with her friends and I bought drinks for all of them and struck up conversation with her. We hit it off instantly and I took her home that night and had mindblowing s**. She didn’t stay the night, though, saying she had to get up early for work. Over the next five months we’ve had an awesome relationship.

We went on some nice dates and had s** at least 3 times a week. She only stayed the night very rarely, but I didn’t think much of this as she did indeed have to get up early. Any time I tried to suggest possibly living together she said she wasn’t ready for that yet. Understandable. We did hang out at her place a few times but just like her staying the night, it was very rare.

I just chalked this up to her feeling more comfortable at my apartment since it was “cozier”. Silly f**king me to not question why an apparently single woman lived in a big house. I have Facebook but I don’t use it or any other social media. I think it’s a waste of time and she told me she doesn’t use it either.

Well last week I decided to mess around on Facebook for a bit and found her profile seeing as we have two mutual friends (really just acquaintances for me). This is where it gets weird. Her name was totally different from what I had known her as. She’s seemingly happily married and has two kids around ages 3 and 6.

She posts a ton of pictures of her and her husband doing all sorts of couply stuff so I doubt they’re separated or going through a divorce. She has never told me any of this. I figured out pretty quick that I was the other man and honestly I feel physically ill knowing that. I have a visceral h**red for cheaters and I feel just gross that I’ve done this.

I feel so stupid that I never figured this out earlier, either I’m just an i**ot or she hid this masterfully, maybe both. She never once mentioned being married with children, saying that she was single. F**k, even when I went to her house, I didn’t see any family pictures or any traces of her family.

This b**ch actually made the effort to hide any indications that she was married and had kids. I feel sick just typing this. I haven’t contacted her since I found out, with the excuse that I need to focus on my job for a bit. She was cool with it, still sends some nudes and sexts and how eager she is to see me again.

I responded halfheartedly but only to stop her from getting suspicious. God I feel nauseous. I’m going to tell her husband. This is just so wrong and it hurts me to know that this man is being deceived by his terrible wife. This hits close to home since my aunt pulled this s**t on my uncle and he is the kindest man alive.

Thankfully I have a habit of not deleting any texts manually so I still have the majority of our texts. I screenshotted everything so I could show them to her husband. I want to figure out a way to meet him in person but I feel like he’s going to tell his wife “oh hey honey some guy named othermanproblems asked me to meet him for coffee” and that will allow her to shovel some bs down this throat.

From his Facebook I found out where he works so I’m thinking I could try and catch him shortly after he leaves. I plan to divulge all details of the affair, give him all the screenshots, and for my own safety, explain that I had no idea she was married. I don’t know if proof of infidelity will help him out but I feel like it’s the least I can do.

I’m still sickened that she could lie to her family like this so I hope she gets what’s coming to her. Some of you might suggest that he has a cuckold fetish or maybe they have an open relationship or some garbage like that. Really, what are the chances?

Besides, if he really did have a cuckold fetish, I’m sure she would have either mentioned it or took pics/videos of us having s** so she could show it to him, or maybe even have s** in his presence. And if they were in an open relationship, I’m certain she would have told me that. No, I’m pretty sure she’s cheating on her husband.

So what should I do? Should I try and request to meet up online? Or should I try and find him in-person? To those of you who might recommend telling her “either you tell him or I will”, hell f**king no. I’m not gonna give her an opportunity to weave some b**lshit tale of how she had an emotional affair with me, moment of weakness, or some s**t.

And to those of you who champion breaking up with her and just staying out of it entirely, gtfo. I’m not going to let her continue to lie to and betray him under the excuse that “it’s not my problem anymore”. I’m not a s**tty person, I won’t give her a free pass for cheating.

Here’s what people had to say to OP:

swifty3 −  Meeting him in person sounds like a bad idea. You have no idea how he’ll react. I would send an email or send a message through facebook first telling him everything and offering proof through screenshots if he needs them.

anonymousthrowaway33 −  I’m sorry this happened to you. You seem like a really good person. I’d send him a FB message and just pay the $1 fee to have it go straight to his inbox (since you’re not FB friends.) Hang in there.

usedupandthrownout −  Just to let you know. I was in a similar situation. I was completely deceived by her. When her boyfriend found out about me, he and his friend discussed getting their guns and coming to hunt me down. So, you know. His first reaction won’t be “my wife fucked someone else”, it’ll be “this guy right in front of me fucked my wife”.

[Reddit User] −  I’d be cautious telling him at work. I’m trying to myself in his shoes, and I think I’d lose my job if I found out my wife cheated on me while I was working. I think I’d catch him after he’s done working on his way out to the car when other people are around. I think he’d be a lot less apt to freakout and lashout at you if he thinks others might be looking. You could also move the venue to a starbucks or other public place if he has further questions.

[Reddit User] −  She was probably using a single friend’s house to meet you at..You should print everything out with clear proof it’s her, put all in envelope and bring to his office- maybe leave your contact information (first name and #) if he wants to reach out to verify anything further…

[Reddit User] −  Does she have a twin sister?

swaygr −  One thing I haven’t seen you talk about is how much her friends know. You mentioned at the beginning that you bought drinks for her and her friends. What is your relationship with them? Are they the mutual friends on Facebook? Do they know that you slept with her as well as know she is married?

If so, they are complicit in the cheating and knowing that might help with proof if needed. I agree that you should not give her the opportunity to spin some BS to her husband. She has been hiding it and cheating for 5 months so she probably already has a cover story. Based on what you’ve said I would say go nuclear while defusing the woman as best as possible.

Ask her to meet in a public place (coffee shop, mall, or bar) where she will not make a scene or at least not attack you. Present her with evidence that she is married and ask her why she lied to you (get answers for yourself first if you want them). Then when you are satisfied click send on your phone that was an email to the husband with all the screen captures and nude photos.

Explain how you just found out and am doing him a solid by letting him know. Also in the email offer to meet with him (in a public place) if he wants more details. Regarding all the other explanations that others have been giving like open relationship, cuckolding, etc., the bottom line is you were lied to.

Telling the husband would not be a problem then if their relationship was open. What it does do is clear the air of being lied to. To anyone who says it is not your problem, I say you can’t be the ‘other guy’ and not be involved. Telling the husband is the cure to the problem which is the wife’s cheating. If they break up it is because of her actions not the OPs.

Lack of communication will always end in escalated actions that usually only benefit one side or none.. Best of luck!

erin9593 −  I think it would be best to meet him in person because online he might not believe you and write you off. If you do meet him in person though try not to come off as angry but rather sympathetic so it’s not a hostile situation. I would just be 100% sure this is the same woman as you’ve been talking to before you do anything.

candy824 −  It seems really weird that she would have that much time to go out in the evenings if she had two young kids and a husband. And to have absolutely NO trace of them at her home? I don’t know…. Maybe it’s just someone who looks a lot like her or a twin or sister or something….

I wouldn’t potentially ruin that marriage or cause problems until you know it’s really her and you get the whole story. You can talk to her about it first and see what she says. If that doesn’t work or it still seems fishy, then contact the husband.

Damazein −  Meet up with a guy you don’t know and giving him proof you’ve been screwing his wife/the mother of his two kids at least 3 times a week for the past 5 months?. Yeah I can see it going great. Think about it, you don’t know what her husband is like. You have no idea how he’ll react.

You don’t know how long they’ve been married, how long they were dating, how long they’ve known each other. All you know is that he has 2 kids with her. For your own safety tell him everything via email and send him EVERYTHING you have. Don’t be surprised if you get an email back from him either wanting to know more.

Oh and you might want to use a throwaway email to do it. I’d be surprised if he didn’t do a search for the email to see if it shows up anywhere else, so he can try and track you down. Once you send the email, tell her you know about her husband and kids, you don’t want to hear from her again and block her phone number, block her on social media and every other way you can.

Also don’t be surprised if she showed up to where you live and tried to corner you once her husband confronts her. And don’t expect her to be in a good or rational mood either so you better be on your toes.