My (19f) atheist boyfriend (21m) burped loudly during grace

A Redditor shared a story about her awkward dinner experience when her atheist boyfriend burped loudly during her family’s grace, leaving everyone at the table shocked. She reflects on whether expecting basic respect for her family’s traditions was unreasonable, sparking a heated debate between them. Read the original story below to learn more about her dilemma.

‘ My (19f) atheist boyfriend (21m) burped loudly during grace’

So I’ve been dating kevin for a couple months now. I was raised Christian and while I very much believe in god, I wouldn’t consider myself super religious or anything, I go to church maybe 10 times a year. Because of that, i thought i might be compatible with an atheist. So anyway, on Sunday kevin and I went to my parents for dinner, it was their first time meeting him.

I thought things were going well until we sat down to eat and my dad starts saying grace. I was looking down but out of the corner of my eye I see Kevin grab his drink and he chugs it. Once he’s done chugging (my dad is still saying grace this entire time mind you) he let’s out this really loud open mouth burp. My dad stops saying grace to look at kevin.

My dad’s mouth was hanging wide open but didn’t say anything. Kevin doesn’t say excuse me or anything so my dad awkwardly finishes saying grace. The dinner itself is painfully awkward. No one acknowledges what happened but my parents seem pretty annoyed with kevin so they make small talk about the weather, what hes taking in school, etc.

After ww finish eating I make up an excuse for us to leave and I drive kevin home. On the way home I ask kevin what his problem is and why he was so rude during dinner. At first he doesn’t seem to know what I was talking about. I say it’s rude to drink during grace, nevermind burping as loud as you can afterwards. He says he’s an atheist so he doesn’t have to wait for that kind of thing.

I say that’s ridiculous as he was still a guest in my parents home and he should follow their rules. Then he goes off saying those rules are b**lshit and he keeps going on about how religion is the worst thing ever. By the time I drop him off in pretty pissed and want nothing to do with him. I haven’t talked to him since but breaking up with him is a given, that’s not why I’m here.

I’m here because one of the things he said to me was why was I dating an atheist if I expected him to act religious. I didn’t think simply not eating or drinking until after grace was “acting religious” but now I’m questioning that. I know reddit is very pro atheist so I want to get opinions from other atheists.

I’ve never dated one before kevin so I don’t know. He says any self respcting atheist would do the same he did. Is that true? Or is he just an a**hole? My cousin had warned me about dating an atheist but considering i don’t take religion too seriously I didn’t think it would be an issue. Maybe I was wrong and I’m not compatible.

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

NoahtheRed −  Kevin didn’t behave that way because he’s an Atheist. He behaved that way because he’s a rude little s**t. He says any self respcting atheist would do the same he did. No. No, they wouldn’t. He did it to get a rise and act somehow superior. Kevin is an i**ot.

Source: Atheist that has sat through many prayers, graces, and weird spiritual moments other people have. I keep my mouth shut and usually just think about food or what beer I want or sometimes cool movies.

crayondove −  Also an atheist, but i have a huge interest in religion from a scholarly standpoint. You don’t belch in from of your partner’s parents at the table, grace or not! He is a pig. I have sat at many a table hosted by religious people.

I’ve attended Shabbat dinners with Jewish friends. I’ve even said grace! I don’t have to believe in it to be respectful of it. Thet are not the same thing. I’d d**p him via text. Seriously, tell him he’s a pig and then block him. Don’t even debase yourself long enough to do it in person.

justathoughtfromme −  He is absolutely wrong. He’s using his atheism as a cover for him being an a**hole. Just because you don’t have the same beliefs as others doesn’t mean that you can’t respect them. Your boyfriend probably has the mindset that he can disrespect ALL religions because he doesn’t believe in it. And that’s wrong.

In his argument, replace the word “atheist” with “Muslim.” Replace it with “Buddhist.” Replace it with “Pastafarianism.” No matter what you were to change it to doesn’t change the fact your boyfriend was disrespectful to you, your family, and your family’s beliefs.

Nusi218 −  That’s not an Atheist, that’s an A**hole

[Reddit User] −  Atheism means that you don’t believe in God. It doesn’t mean going out of your way to antagonize people who disagree, especially when they’re not doing anything to you. Kevin’s just an a**hole, and you’re well rid of him.

Chewy_Morsels −  I was born and raised atheist. This was someone trying to be edgy. Your boyfriend is an edgy teen.

user31415926535 −  My (19f) ~~atheist~~ **a**hole** boyfriend (21m) burped loudly during grace. FTFY. As an atheist myself, that sort of atheist disgusts me. It’s a basic matter of respect. If you are a guest at a meal, and the host wishes to say a few words before eating, that’s their right.

It doesn’t matter if the words are a prayer, a story, a joke, or the football scores. If your BF can’t keep his mouth shut for 60 seconds without drawing attention to himself he’s got issues besides atheism.

marthaliberty −  Giving simple courtesy and respect to other people while they say prayer is not “acting religious.” I know many atheists who would never dream of behaving in such an ostentatiously rude manner as your bf did. Or may I hope, ex bf? One can be an atheist and not be a j**k. What your bf is doing is making a religion of being atheist.

Ddog78 −  Something from u/HelpMyBabySleep I have saved on my account. Hope it helps. I’ll tell you a super secret that you should try to remember for the future. A lot of the things that you might think are important in a relationship will change as you grow. You want someone hot at 23, when you’re also hot at 23. When you get to 53, neither of you will be very hot, so the hotness is less important.

At 19, you might really value someone who loses their sense of time talking to you, because you’re both full of philosophical ideas about the world. At 39, it’s much more valuable that he picks up the kids from the daycare on time. Priorities change. People change. The one single thing that will not change is being treated with respect.

Your partner should respect you at 19 and 29 and 99. Your partner should respect you when you’re single and when you’re married and raising kids and when you’re retired. How you’re treated is always important. If your partner doesn’t respect you, it doesn’t matter if he’s a male model rocket scientist millionaire. It’s still a broken relationship.

[Reddit User] −  He says any self respcting atheist would do the same he did. Is that true? Hell no. He’s an i**ot. That has nothing to do with being an atheist and everything to do with having no respect for others. Especially in your parents home. I’m an atheist but I will always do my best to treat people and their homes with respect.

Do you think it’s unreasonable to expect basic courtesy for someone else’s traditions, even if you don’t share their beliefs? Was the boyfriend justified in his actions, or did he cross a line of disrespect? Share your thoughts and let us know how you’d handle this situation below!

For those who want to read the sequel: https://aita.pics/eARlU