AITA for Refusing to Let ‘Karen’ Neighbor Use My Pool After She Demanded I Follow Her Pool Rules?
A Reddit user shared his frustration with his neighbor, “Karen,” who repeatedly used his pool without permission and even provided a list of rules she expected him to follow. After she threw pool parties uninvited and insisted on exclusive weekend access, he installed a lock on his backyard fence to prevent further issues. Karen, furious, accused him of being selfish, but the Redditor feels more in control and relieved. Wondering how this drama unfolds? Read the full update below.
‘ AITA for Refusing to Let ‘Karen’ Neighbor Use My Pool After She Demanded I Follow Her Pool Rules?’
So, I (34M) live in a suburban neighborhood with a decent-sized backyard and a pool. I’ve always been friendly with my neighbors, including “Karen” (mid-40s F) who moved in next door about a year ago. She seemed nice at first, but as time went on, she started to show her true colors.
Over the summer, Karen started coming over with her kids, asking if they could use the pool. At first, I didn’t mind because I was usually outside anyway, and the kids seemed to enjoy it. But soon, things got weird. Karen began showing up unannounced, sometimes even when I wasn’t home, and I caught her using the pool without my permission.
One day, I came home to find Karen and several of her friends having a full-on pool party in my backyard, complete with snacks, music, and pool floats! I confronted her, and she acted like it was no big deal, saying, “Oh, you weren’t using it, so I figured it was fine.”
I told her politely but firmly that she needed to ask before coming over and that I wasn’t comfortable with her just assuming she could use the pool whenever. Karen seemed annoyed but agreed to “follow the rules.”
Then, last week, she took things to a whole new level. Karen knocked on my door with a typed-up list of “pool rules” that she wanted me to follow! Her list included things like:
• No swimming after 5 PM because “her kids have a strict bedtime.”
• No “loud music” when her family is outside.
• Mandatory weekend access for her and her kids, but only for their exclusive use.
I thought she was joking at first, but she was dead serious. I laughed and told her there was no way I was following any of her “rules” for my pool. Karen got angry and called me selfish, saying that I was “ruining the neighborhood spirit” and being “unfair to the kids.”
Now, she’s been spreading rumors to other neighbors that I’m a bad guy for not sharing the pool. Some of the neighbors have even said I should “just let it go” to avoid drama. But I feel like this is insane — it’s my pool, and she’s acting like she owns it! AITA for refusing to let Karen and her kids use my pool after she demanded I follow her ridiculous rules?.
Quick update: Just to let everyone know, my backyard fence doesn’t have a lock. I’ve taken your advice and purchased one from the store, and I’ll be installing it tomorrow. For those suggesting I get a camera, I already have one.. But it’s not pointing directly at the pool more to the fence entrance.
Update: Hey everyone, a update on the situation! Thanks for all the advice—it really helped me see I wasn’t overreacting. So, I went ahead and installed a keypad lock on my backyard fence. Figured it’d solve the problem without needing another awkward convo with Karen. Plus, you all were right about the liability stuff—I really don’t want to deal with any potential fallout if someone gets hurt using my pool.
Of course, So, Karen noticed the lock pretty much immediately. She was at my door, furious, saying I was “locking out the neighborhood kids” and treating her family like “criminals.” She went on about how I was being dramatic, and why couldn’t I just let them use it like before?
I told her straight up that I wanted some privacy and control over who was using my pool—after all, it’s my backyard, not a community park. She rolled her eyes and said I was being selfish etc. etc. Honestly, I feel a lot better with the lock on now. It’s a bit awkward with Karen, but I’d rather that than have her acting like my backyard is a public pool. Thanks again for the support!
These are the responses from Reddit users:
No_Good_Turn − NTA. Karen is insane. Inform her in writing that she and her family are no longer welcome on your property, and if they show up again you will call the authorities. People like her never back down, so you can’t either. If you do, you’ll never know a moment’s peace. Good luck. NTA.
WebInformal9558 − I can’t tell if this is real because what you’re describing seems too egregious to be believable (especially the part about the neighbors saying you should have let it go). If it *is* real, then NTA, your pool, your rules. You’re not an a**hole for wanting to be in charge of your own property.
Thistime232 − ••Mandatory weekend access for her and her kids, but only for their exclusive use. Come on, this is some b**lshit. And not the request, you posting this as if it is real. I’ve heard of some entitled people, but the idea that someone would tell you that they get to use your pool, and ONLY them, during the weekends, is just b**lshit. Or even if it was SOMEHOW real, why would you come here asking if you’re an A? Would you truly and honestly believe you’re an A for not just giving her your pool?
NaturesVividPictures − NTA. If you want to throw someone under the bus use your home insurance company. Tell them that you inquired with them about allowing the neighbor to come over and use your pool anytime they wanted and they said no because legally if something happens that the homeowner yourself would be the one ultimately responsible so you’re not about to take on that liability.
If she wants her kids to swim then she’s going to have to buy a pool membership somewhere I’m sure there’s a public pool somewhere in your area that she could pay to belong to. Oh yeah if you don’t have outside cameras for your backyard get them now and put a lock on your gate.
Hat82 − This is fake
chibbledibs − Why do people write this nonsense?
celticmusebooks − So you realize Karen will be the first one at your door with a lawyer if one of her kids hurts themselves in your pool, right?. Send back Karen’s list with edits. We will use our pool whenever we want as it’s on our property.
Neither you nor your family are allowed on our property under any circumstances. If you or your family members set foot on our property I will be calling the police and you’ll be having mandatory time with a police officer exclusively for your family.
joegee66 − If you live in the US, many locales require a fence. Make it tall and lockable. The words “No Trespassing” and “No Swimming Without Owner’s Permission” should be clearly displayed. Install security cameras and cover the entire pool area. Add “Smile for the Cameras” signs.
Check your liability coverage (you may get a break for new security measures.) Make sure you are *not* liable for injuries acquired by trespassers. Talk to a lawyer and have them draw up a letter, stating clear legal consequences for your neighbor if she or her children trespass. Stick with the terms you laid down. 🫤
batmang − Fake and boring
Similar-Traffic7317 − Fakey McFake. Call the police and report trespassing then fakey mcfake.
Do you think the Redditor was right to set boundaries with his neighbor, or did he overreact by locking the gate? How would you handle a neighbor who takes such liberties with your property? Share your thoughts below!