AITA For telling a stranger to delete a picture of me and my seizure alert dog that he took of me on the bus even after he told me why?

A Reddit user shared a troubling experience where a man on the bus took a picture of her and her seizure alert dog without permission. She asked him to delete the photo, even after he explained that his daughter has epilepsy and seeing a working seizure alert dog would inspire her.

Although she works in epilepsy activism and sympathized with the man’s intentions, she felt it was inappropriate to take a photo without consent, especially while her dog was actively alerting her to an impending seizure. Was she too harsh, or was her request reasonable? Read the full story below.

‘ AITA For telling a stranger to delete a picture of me and my seizure alert dog that he took of me on the bus even after he told me why?’

Heya. So this happened a few days ago, and I’m still pretty worried about whether I’m an a**hole or not. I take the bus to and from work and it’s quite a long commute. Background: I have epilepsy. I have a seizure alert dog, and he comes with me on the bus. Because hes trained to do all kinds of support tasks, hes a large breed dog (sheepdog/poodle cross).

Ive had a lot of seizures on the bus, so I have a hard time mentally dealing with the commute every day. To accommodate his size and to make me comfortable, I sit in the disability seating section if it’s available so he can lay beneath/between my legs and out of the way.. Now onto the story:

I’m on the bus ride home, and I found a seat in the disability section. I was about 2 stops from my home, and I was starting to have a few auras, so my dog turned around and was facing me/alerting me. The next thing I know, I see a flash.

I look up, and a man sitting near me was holding up his phone and taking a picture of me. I was in a bit of a rough state, so I asked him to delete it. I was probably firmer than I usually would be, but my dog was alerting me and I had about 10-15 mins to get home.

The man was stuttering and saying things like “I just wanted a picture he was being so cute and I saw his ID badge (he has one attached to his vest that says “seizure alert dog”).” I asked him again to delete the pic and then he goes “my daughter has epilepsy and it would be important to her to see a working seizure alert dog”

I told him there were plenty of resources online and made him show me that he deleted it. I was then at my stop and ran home. I felt bad, because I do epilepsy activism work so I felt for him but I was really uncomfortable with someone taking a picture of me while my seizure alert dog in the disability section just felt wrong.

Should I have just let him keep the picture? AITA?. Edit to clear up some things:

-I dont care about legality, just the a**hole nature of the situation. -I’m a female :). -I live in Canada

-While I dont have exclusive photosensitive epilepsy, flashing lights make my auras worse

-If he had asked me, I would have gotten out of the way and let him take a picture of my dog. Hes super cute so I get it.

Edit: I didnt know about the dog tax! 

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

happybunny724 −  NTA and his excuse is bs- his daughter has epilepsy he should know that a flash can be a trigger AND it’s 2019 he can google a picture to show his daughter. If she is young enough that it “is important to show her working dogs” (making it sound like the child isn’t very old) then she is young enough that “I couldn’t get a picture because he was working with his person but here is a pic of others in life that I found online” would be sufficient.

[Reddit User] −  Why tf is he taking a picture with his flash on then!?!?! What a D**k

Kheldarson −  NTA. He could’ve asked first. By using his flash, he may have triggered an episode. You have the right to privacy and to not have your picture taken, even in the name of advocacy.

Bucktown_Riot −  NTA. I hate this increasingly pervasive idea that snapshotting a complete stranger isn’t assholish just because it’s legal. That just because you had the gall to walk outside, you’re a p**ck for not wanting some rando to take you or your child’s picture.

My sister has a unique feature, and many times throughout her life, people have felt completely entitled to a picture of her. When she’s on the bus. When she’s walking down the street. When she’s leaning against the wall of an airport. She’ll be minding her own business, then someone takes a picture.

Yes, people. We all know it’s legal. But unless you’re a photojournalist covering an event, you’re still a d**k for not asking first. You’re not Ansel Adams. You’re a rando with an iPhone.. edit: can’t spell. additional edit: For those who keep fighting me on this: Being entitled to your subject’s image does not mean you are entitled to your subject’s emotions.

That’s especially true if they’re an unwitting subject. Yes, you can legally take a close up picture of me while I’m sitting on a park bench. But you’re still being rude, and I’m allowed to be annoyed. Your “art” does not shield you from my right to that emotion.

You’re not a red light cam or a Pulitzer prize winner. You’re some complete stranger who’s in my face, holding a camera. I have no idea who you are. I imagine this experience would be especially uncomfortable for women.

niccotaglia −  NTA. Should have asked for permission *before* taking the photo

zookinis −  nta. someone is bound to come into this post with “BUT IT’S LEGAL!!!!!” because a lot of people think something being legal makes it okay.

[Reddit User] −  NTA in the slightest. He doesn’t have the right to take a photo of you or your dog, especially if the dog is on duty. It would be different if he had asked permission to take a photo of the dog. Also if he recognised the seizure id on the dog, why the f**k is he using the flash in front of you?!

albionarcadia −  NAH. I’m going to go out on a limb and say the flash was accidental, we’ve all been there, and on a well lit bus I don’t think anyone would be using the flash feature deliberately. Yeah, the idea of someone taking a photo of you without your consent sucks, but the intention here was clearly that he was focused on the dog, not you.

It’s a bit rude yes, but I’ll be honest, I’ve taken pictures of cute dogs, service or non service, that I’ve seen on public transport, just because my partner and I like dogspotting. Sometimes the owner will end up in shot, sometimes not – I’ll generally crop them out before sharing it if so.

I totally understand you feeling uncomfortable with this, and the discomfort came from the fact the flash was on so you knew what he was doing. But I also totally get that he didn’t mean any harm to you and wasn’t trying to photograph YOU for really dodgy reasons, he just thought your dog was awesome and wanted to show his daughter (or someone else maybe, idk) “look at this awesome working dog I saw helping his human today”.

It’s an awkward and uncomfortable situation, and you’re within your rights to say “I don’t like that you did that, please delete it”. But I also don’t think there’s much wrong with him taking a photo of a cute working animal in public. So I don’t think anyone involved is an a**hole per se.

JimGerm −  I don’t get Reddit sometimes. I see posts where people are filming other people and the comments SCREAM they have the absolute right to do so, but then a situation like this comes up and all of a sudden the guy filming is the antichrist.

CoffeeBeanx3 −  It takes a special kind of i**ot to take a flash photo of an epileptic person who’s being alerted by their seizure dog. He doesn’t even have the excuse of being unfamiliar with the topic. He’s just a selfish i**ot.

Seriously, NEVER TAKE PICTURES WITHOUT CONSENT, that’s not hard to memorize. Hell, I would have strangled him, and flash photos just cause me migraines, not freaking seizures. You are NTA and that guy is as smart and emotionally capable as a turnip.

What do you think? Should people ask permission before taking photos of someone with a service animal, even if their intentions are good? How would you have handled this situation? Share your thoughts and personal stories below!