AITA for making my parents choose between my sister going to jail or replacing my car with their vacation money.?
A Reddit user found themselves at odds with their parents after their sister stole and wrecked their car. To avoid filing a police report and potential criminal charges against the sister, the parents used their vacation savings to replace the car. Now, the family is upset with the user for denying their nieces a long-anticipated trip.
Read the full story below to decide if they were in the wrong.
‘ AITA for making my parents choose between my sister going to jail or replacing my car with their vacation money.?’
I (f17) live with my parents. I have an older sister (29) that they had when they were super young. Like I think my mom was 19 and my dad was 18.
They did not do a great job with her and she has a lot of problems. She is chronically unemployed and she is a thief. She has two kids that are okay.
They live with us as well because her boyfriend didn’t want them around. I like the kids but they are spoiled little brats my parents dote on to make up for being s**tty parents to their mom. My parents won’t let me put a lock on my door because it is their house and they don’t want that.
No problem. I talked to the kids and explained about what would happen if they came into my room without permission. We have an understanding. Well my sister broke up with her boyfriend and she needed a place to stay. I begged my parents not to let her stay with us. They declined.
So I begged again for a lock for my door. No dice.I have to go to school so I can’t guard my stuff at all times. When I came home on Friday I found my car absolutely trashed and the side of it destroyed. My sister had gone into my room, found my spare key and taken my car. Then lost control on the ice after a day of eating crap and tossing fast food wrappers everywhere. She sideswiped a tree.
When I saw my car I was livid. I told my parents that I expected her to pay to fix it. They said she didn’t have any money. So I said that I would call my grandparents. They had helped me get the car and insurance. After talking with my grandfather I came back to talk to my parents. I said that the insurance would cover fixing or replacing my car depending on the damage.
But that I would have to file a police report. And that my sister would probably be charged for stealing my car. They begged me to tell insurance that she had permission. I said nope. So rather than go through insurance they are replacing my car. But they are using money that they had sett aside to take me and my nieces to Orlando next summer for my graduation. It’s fine. I can do without seeing Disney World again.
But my parents, sister, and nieces are upset with me and saying that I’m an a**hole for denying my nieces the opportunity to go on a vacation that they have never had.
I just asked them if a lock for my door would have been cheaper.. AITA?.
#EDIT Hey. I just got home from school. There is a deadbolt on my bedroom door. And my mom gave me a key. She says that she is keeping the other one for emergency. I agreed as long as it was only for emergencies.
Here’s the comments of Reddit users:
angelaheidt − NTA – “Play stupid games, win stupid prizes”
I just asked them if a lock for my door would have been cheaper.. LEGEND
MaryK007 − NTA, and you still need a lock.
No_Service2135 − NTA, your parents could go the cheaper route and send your sister to jail for grand theft and teach her they won’t always bail her out, then no “ruined” vacation either
DinaFelice − “Honestly, the more I think about it, the more I’m thinking that we should just report it to the police and let the chips fall where they may. After all, Sister *did* steal my car, and you are right that it’s not fair to Nieces to have to miss the trip because of Sister’s decision to break your trust and break the law.
And the last thing I want is to be responsible for Nieces missing out. So let’s just report it to the police.” NTA. While I understand families deciding to handle situations like this within the family, rather than reporting it to the authorities, that is dependent on the wrongdoer being genuinely sorry for their mistake.
But your sister isn’t sorry. Not even a little. Otherwise, she would recognize that *her* choice took the trip away from her children, and not be constantly trying to guilt or blame you.
GarlicAndSapphire − NTA and that last line killed me. Just one thought about that lock- would they agree if you offered to give one of them a spare key? That seems pretty reasonable to me.
ProfPlumDidIt − NTA and your parents are STILL bad parents to her and to her kids. Letting kids get away with everything and not having to face consequences is, imo, abusive because then they have no idea how to function in the real world.
If your parents had actually learned anything about parenting, they’d make your sister deal with this or would at least force her to get a job to repay them… if they did that, then the kids wouldn’t miss out on Disney. Every single aspect of this has been your parents’ fault, and they are still failing.
corgihuntress − But nobody blames your sister? Criminy. NTA
LadyLeaMarie − I would find a safer spot then your parents house for all your important documents. Social security card, passport, birth certificate, anything like that. Maybe keep it at your grandparents.
Acrylicyew3 − NTA Your parents are toxic and your sister is a Rat. Its about time for your sister to realize that she cant get away with this at all. And its time for your parents to stop condoning your sisters behavior as well. File the police report. That will scare your sister straight. And maybe she’ll think twice next time. If she hasn’t killed herself from her recklessness.
queenofwasps − You’re right, A lock would have been cheaper. Nta
Was the user right to insist on prioritizing the car replacement over the vacation, or should they have handled the situation differently to preserve family harmony? How would you address a sibling’s repeated irresponsibility while protecting your own boundaries? Share your opinions and experiences in the comments below!