My [30s] BIL [30s] tried to ruin my wedding. He is upset I cut the stupidity out of my wedding video

A Redditor shared their experience of dealing with a brother-in-law (BIL) who made an immature joke during their wedding vows by pretending to object and then claiming he was at the wrong wedding. Though the incident was edited out of the wedding video, the BIL is now upset, claiming his “funny moment” should have been included. The Redditor seeks advice on handling the situation while maintaining family harmony. Read the full story below for all the details.

‘ My [30s] BIL [30s] tried to ruin my wedding. He is upset I cut the stupidity out of my wedding video’

I [34F] got married to my boyfriend Dan [35M]. We have been together for 5 years now. We have been married two months now. Dan has two siblings. Moira [32F] is great, I love her like my own sister. Smith [30M] is kind of a weird character. He is fun, in small doses. I am not annoyed with him so much as perplexed. He seems stuck in middle school.

My wedding had a lot of small problems. I had a kid throw up on my dress, so I wore my MOH’s dress while she changed into her street clothes. I tripped going up the stairs. Dan dropped his ring down the vent. One of my cousin’s children knocked over a pile of cupcakes. For the most part, no one did anything on purpose and we have it on tape, which is hilarious.

There was one incident that felt intentionally done to make my day harder for me. It was done by Smith. During the actual vows, when the priest [60sM] asked if anyone protests, forever hold your peace, Smith stood up. He said he was in love with me and didn’t think I should marry his brother. Then after a few seconds of silence, he said ‘wrong wedding’ and walked out. I could hear him laughing about it.

I have a little brother [25M] who was prone to stupid s**t like this when he was 11. I have learned not to take it personally, I work with kids. I am used to Smith. I just felt it was stupid and made him look bad more than me. I didn’t want it in the video and asked the videographer to take it out. I didn’t bring it up again, I let Dan handle his family like we have agreed. I think he spoke to Smith about it, I know my MIL [60s] gave him a stern once over.

I let it go. I didn’t really think about it much until we got the video and pictures. Smith was over while my cousin Cindy [40F] was. Cindy asked to see the video and pictures. I turned it on, showed her the video. It was hilarious. It was loving and beautiful. It also didn’t have Smith doing something stupid. Smith got upset about it and said we kept all the other bad stuff, why not him. He was part of the wedding excitement. He was funny. Why didn’t we keep it in?

I told him I didn’t think it was very funny, he did it to p**s us off, and I didn’t want it in my video. I said no hard feelings, it wasn’t funny is all. Smith left and is actually upset about this. He has been texting Dan saying how I changed him, blah blah.

I am just not sure how to go forward from this. I feel like I am dealing with a toddler. How do I explain to Smith that he could have ruined my wedding, and most women would have flayed him alive and told him to never come into their home? I feel he owes me an apology, but don’t really care that Smith thinks he is funny. I just don’t want to deal with hissy fits. So what do I do? TL;DR BIL made a stupid joke during my wedding vows and is upset the guy edited it out. NOt sure what is up?

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

Svataben −  What an intense i**ot! Holy crap, he really thought that was funny? You keep doing what you’ve been doing so far: Let your husband deal with his family. Tell your husband how you feel, and that you need this adressed with his brother.

[Reddit User] −  I let it go.. You are a queen among women.. Just ignore him.

creativexangst −  The difference between the two is that he did this to purposely be recorded, to purposely be a part of your day. Everything else was an accident that’s just a silly addition to the day and the memories. That’s what he needs to understand.

MtCarlmore −  You literally couldn’t have handled this with more calmness or grace. I was amazed while reading this how cool headed you were and are being about it – I can’t say I would’ve done the same. I honestly think you should trust your gut – if Smith continues to sulk, point out to him how you’re just trying to move on and “you’re lucky I’m not freaking out about this and demanding an apology, which I deserve by the way”.

You didn’t find it funny, he has to get over himself and chalk it up to a loss. It seems pretty clear everyone in his family agrees with you that it was dumb? He’ll have to sit with that knowledge and get over himself.

onlyamonth −  He wants attention, don’t give it to him. Ignore completely.

ShelfLifeInc −  Smith got upset about it and said we kept all the other bad stuff, why not him. Because all the other stuff was accidental. No one planned for the kid to throw up on your dress, or for Dan to drop his ring, or for the other kids to knock over the cupcakes.
Smith had some stupid idea of interrupting your vows for a laugh, and probably thought the joke was sooooooooo clever. My guess is that not a single other person laughed, did they? It was just an awkward interruption to make him the centre of attention for a minute.

It looks like you’ve already explained this to him, so just treat him as you would a two-year-old. Ignore him, ignore his hissy fits, ignore his attempts to be the centre of attention.

Usrname52 −  He honestly sounds like an i**ot instead of an a**hole. Like he was trying to make you laugh. If you guys do anything, your husband needs to sit him down and give him some real talk. That it wasn’t personal, but that what he did was really immature, vows are important to people, and 99% of people would not have found that funny, in fact, most would be pissed. He kind of needs to be talked to like the 11 year old he acts like. You guys seem to handle everything well…congratulations on the wedding! Excuse me while I go panic about the idea of a kid puking on my wedding dress….

greywinthrop −  If he wanted to keep that moment (of trying to ruin your wedding and looking like an ass) for posterity, he should have hired his own videographer and paid for it. As it is, it’s your and your husband’s video of your wedding, and the two of you had the right to edit it however you wanted. I would tell your husband to talk with the BIL, if he keeps sulking and acting like you’ve done something to him. He sounds like a big baby who wants to be the center of attention at all times, he just has to deal with not getting his way.

[Reddit User] −  I am assuming your husband pretty much agrees with your piont of view? If let him deal with Smith and now you know how he will be for any other big events, he is insecure and he created drama to shift the attention back to him. I think he is somewhat jealous of your husband.

FiloRen −  He’s an i**ot, I’d like your husband deal with him like you did at the wedding. With that said, I’m SHOCKED you think someone puking on your dress and you wearing your MOH’s dress is a “small problem.” You are clearly the most chill bride of all time, haha. Also, how bad did that kid’s mom feel?