AITA for ruining jeans for women?

A Redditor shared a situation where, after expressing frustration about the office’s strict no-jeans policy, they inadvertently got a coworker in trouble when they pointed out that women had been wearing jeans. The manager intervened, and now the Redditor feels guilty for potentially ruining jeans for their female colleagues. Read the full story below.

‘ AITA for ruining jeans for women?’

I work at an office where I’m allowed to have a beard and long hair, but my manager is stringent on the “no jeans policy.” She frequently ensures that no one is wearing jeans and is wearing professional attire.

Problem is, for the past few months that I’ve been here, the women of the office have always worn jeans. Tight, dark, professional looking jeans, but jeans nonetheless. That is, until a few days ago.

I love wearing jeans, and have always felt I could make them professional too. I was complaining about it to a friend and coworker when my manager walked into the staff room. She said something basically confirming her stance on jeans.

I said “Well, the girls get to wear jeans.”. “No they don’t.” Then, my coworker, Amanda walked in wearing jeans. I pointed that out. My manager confronted Amanda, telling her that she wasn’t allowed to wear jeans.

In the moment, Amanda appeared playfully mad at me. But I went over her house last weekend, and she brought up the incident twice, again sort of playfully, but I think she may actually be mad. I apologized, saying I didn’t want to ruin jeans for women but to prove that someone can look professional in jeans.. AITA?

EDIT/ UPDATE: Wow, did not expect all of the responses, though I can’t say I’m surprised about the polarization. At work today, it wasn’t bad. Only one other girl spoke to me, and she too was more playfully mad than anything. I do feel bad that I ruined jeans for the women, though perhaps one day I will work in a place where jeans will be permitted for all. Thank you for all of your input and the silvers!

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

bbbrashbash −  ESH (grudgingly). You didn’t try to argue that jeans could look professional. You tattled. And technically if it’s against dress code she shouldn’t be wearing them. So technically she’s in the wrong too.

[Reddit User] −  YTA. Seems like the policy was more of a ask for forgiveness not permission kind of thing, but instead of just wearing dark, professional jeans and seeing what happened, you kind of threw Amanda under the bus.

JosiahStoll −  NTA, standards of professionalism are frequently used as tools of o**ression in the workplace.

Armoured_Sour_Cream −  NAH. Intentions weren’t ill. Also, if the manager failed to realize it, people must have looked professional enough. Maybe it was an accidental, obliviously made mistake but nothing more.

SlayzorHunter −  NAH apart from your manager, but this post’s central conflict is not with her

abby1kimono −  NTA. And I have a really hard time wrapping my head around the people who are saying that you are an a**hole. If this was reversed and all the men were wearing jeans and the women were told they could only wear professional attire, everyone would be out here with pitchforks.

texasyardie −  NTA. You’re breaking a stated rule and I point out the double standard and I’M the a**hole? I don’t think so. If the rule is there and being enforced, you need to follow it. Honestly, the biggest a**hole is your boss. Why were they enforcing it with men and ignoring the women who were breaking it?. Edit: Grammar.

[Reddit User] −  YTA. you saw how the women were getting away with it, you should have bought a pair of dark nice/not jeans looking jeans and see if you blended in. If you got s**t then maybe you would have been justified, but you just screwed it up for everyone and now they probably all have to go buy new pants. Of course they are peeved. You were acting like a baby, if I can’t have it no one can.

starry_skyz −  YTA. Invest in nice jeans so no one can tell the difference then everyone wins instead of loses

serinaluna −  Going with NTA. Not a fan of double standards.

Do you think the Redditor was wrong for pointing out the double standard, or was it a simple mistake? How would you handle a situation where your actions unintentionally affected others in the workplace? Share your thoughts below!