AITA for moving all my stuff to my guest room after my husband refused to stop turning the light on at 3am?

A Redditor shared their frustration with their husband’s early morning habits after his recent promotion. Despite repeated requests, he continues to turn on bright lights and make noise during his 3am wake-up routine, disturbing the user’s sleep. After moving into the guest room as a result, the husband believes the reaction is an overreaction, while the user feels their needs are being ignored. Read the full story below.

‘ AITA for moving all my stuff to my guest room after my husband refused to stop turning the light on at 3am?’

My husband just got promoted to shift manager 3 weeks ago. This meant that his 10am-6pm shift has now been switched 4am to noon. He isnt a morning person AT ALL so most mornings he will start huffing and puffing as soon as his alarm goes off and he will instantly turn on our light and very loudly start looking for his work clothes.

I have asked him several times to put clothes out the night before and he has yet to do so. I have also asked him to not turn the light on or be super loud. After all, when I worked at 5am I made sure to be respectful of him sleeping.

So yesterday morning when he got up at 3am and flipped on the light, I grabbed my stuff and went to the guest room. He came in and asked what I was doing. I told him that since he didnt respect me sleeping, at all, that I would be staying in the guest room from now on. He made a comment about “The light will only be on for 5 freaking minutes.” Which is not true.

He turns the light on, finds himself clothes and then goes to take a shower without turning the light off. If I turn the light off, he will come back into the room after the shower and turn it on again to grab his socks and put on his shoes. (Which also pisses me off because shoes stay in the kitchen by the door and there’s no reason he cant put them on at the table).

Anyways, instead of understanding, he just got angry. Mainly because he is not a morning person and he doesnt like dealing with anything in the AM. So, while he was at work yesterday, I moved all my stuff into the guest room. Last night he practically begged me to sleep in the bedroom and promised to let me sleep.

Well, this morning he flips on the f**king light again so I sit up and I’m like “Are you kidding me right now?” And he says “I’m being quiet!” As if that was the only issue. So I went into the guest room and locked the door. I told him I was staying in here from now on despite his efforts to sway me. He thinks I’m overreacting.. AITA?

EDIT FOR THE TROLLS OF REDDIT: I do in fact work. So your assumption that I dont is not only mislead but pretty ignorant. Also, the assumption that everything I have is due to my husband working, another ignorant statement.

Not that it matters for the context of this post but I work 4pm to midnight. And cute little tid-bit, I’m the bread winner. I make nearly $5 more on my hourly wage. Take that info and shove it.

Update: Thanks for all the awards and awesome feed back! I am in search of a (hopefully) light weight mask that one of you suggested. I hope it works!

These are the responses from Reddit users:

cillademander −  NTA He is being completely disrespectful. Honestly, if he can’t get up in the middle of the night without waking his partner, _he_ should be the one sleeping in the guest room. But since he seems to be completely inconsiderate I recommend you stay there. You are not overreacting, not even a little.

lostlonelyworld −  NTA but if you want your marriage to survive please seek therapy. Theres a much bigger issue going on than you are willing to see right now.

notAgirl77 −  NTA. Let’s normalize couples sleeping in separate beds/rooms. Different people have different sleep requirements.

NemesisErinys −  NTA. Fuuuuuck that. My husband works Saturday mornings and he gets up and gets dressed in the dark or takes his stuff into the bathroom and gets dressed there to avoid waking me. And I do the same in normal times when I commute to work and get up before he does.

[Reddit User] −  He understands. He just doesn’t think you’re that important. NTA

Halluc −  NTA, my boyfriend gets up hours before me and simply kisses me goodbye and then grabs his clothes and leaves the room, he showers, dresses and gets ready in the bathroom and brushes his teeth in the kitchen sink to avoid waking up the rest of the house haha!

We leave the curtains open on a night so he has enough light to see what he’s doing, maybe he can compromise with a torch or something? Sadly it sounds like it’s a lot more than just a light that he is being inconsiderate about, and looks like you should stay in the spare room until he can improve.

1caffeinatedsquirrel −  NTA you don’t mess with someone’s sleep! If he wants you to sleep in the same room he can make the effort to put out his clothes the night before. It’s not that hard. It’s fine for him to be grouchy while his body adjusts to the schedule but he still needs to respect your sleep.

Rgirl4 −  NTA, I would sleep in the guest room permanently until he learns to respect you.

Bizzle_B −  You’re NTA, obviously. I’m not excusing him, I don’t accept any grown adult using “I’m not a morning person” as an excuse for s**tty behaviour, but do you feel he’s being purely inconsiderate or could it be a “misery loves company” situation where he resents his new routine and he’s dragging you along with him?

PsychologyAutomatic3 −  Your husband is the AH, you’re not overreacting.

Do you think the Redditor’s response was fair, or is the husband right in thinking it’s an overreaction? How would you handle a situation where your partner’s habits disrupt your sleep or routine? Share your thoughts in the comments below!