My [31F] husband [33M] of 4 years has a weird relationship with his pregnant coworker [23F]. I’m not sure if I should be worried or not.

A concerned wife seeks advice about her husband’s increasingly close relationship with a pregnant coworker. Over the past five months, he has gone out of his way to financially support and assist the coworker, leading to fights and accusations of selfishness.

Despite her attempts to express her discomfort, her husband remains dismissive, leaving her unsure about whether her concerns are valid or if she’s overreacting. Read on for the full story and advice from others.

‘ My [31F] husband [33M] of 4 years has a weird relationship with his pregnant coworker [23F]. I’m not sure if I should be worried or not.’

My husband has worked with Kelsey for the last two years, and I never thought anything about their relationship was strange until now. For the past 5 months–the amount of time that has lapsed since my husband found out that Kelsey was pregnant–he has gone out of his way to support her in a way that makes me uncomfortable.

I might be able to understand his actions if they weren’t so extreme, but they mostly strike me as downright strange and out of character for him. For one, when he found out she was pregnant, he came to me and asked if he could give her $1,000 to help her with some of her expenses. He said that Kelsey’s baby’s father was out of the picture and she was struggling.

I don’t know Kelsey personally, but I can sympathize with her situation. I agreed to let him write her a check for $250. I did think this was odd, though, because my husband has never been all that charitable. I’ve never known him to be the type of person that goes out of his way to help a coworker or a stranger, but whatever.

A few weeks later my husband came to me and again asked me if we could help Kelsey out. This time he wanted to buy a pram for Kelsey. The one he had picked out was quite expensive, so I wasn’t comfortable with just giving him the okay. We spent about a week discussing it before we finally agreed to purchase a cheaper one for her.

This came after he asked her if the second one would be okay. I took this opportunity to ask him how much more money he wanted to spend on Kelsey and her baby. We had already spent $500 on them at this point, and I was starting to get concerned. We had a fight about this where he accused me of being selfish.

He said that he was trying to do a good deed for someone and that he thought I would be happy to support a young mother-to-be like Kelsey and her baby. I did feel a little guilty afterwords, so I backed off. Fast forward to last week. I found out after the fact that my husband had bought a $150 giftcard to Babies R US for Kelsey as a Christmas present.

We had another fight about how much money he’s spending on her and her baby, and again he accused me of being stingy. I asked him how much more he planned to spend, and he told me that he didn’t know. I asked him if he could see how this situation could make me uncomfortable and how it might lead me to think something was going on between them.

He said that he was disappointed that I would think his good deed was anything other than him trying to help a coworker. He has been giving me the silent treatment since that fight and making passive-aggressive comments, which is frustrating. I can’t get him to understand that my concerns are legitimate.

Besides, it’s not like we have the ability to keep spending this kind of money on Kelsey. In addition to spending money, my husband also has spent a lot of time helping Kelsey in other ways. He’s spent time fixing up things around her apartment before the baby comes and doing other odd jobs for her.

All of this makes me extremely uncomfortable, but anytime I bring it up he accuses me of trying to stop him from helping someone in need of assistance or being greedy. He won’t acknowledge what I think is very worrisome behavior. At this point I wonder what I’m supposed to do.

I think he really is trying to do a good deed, but part of me worries that something else is happening. I don’t want to believe he would cheat on me (he’s never given me a reason to suspect this), but I can’t help but wonder sometimes, especially when he’s gone with Kelsey to her OB/GYN appointment on two occasions, though he claimed it was because she needed a ride.

Does he have a point? Am I being selfish for hassling him over helping Kelsey? How should I try to get him to understand his behavior is making me uncomfortable? I’m not sure how I should handle this situation. Nothing seems to be working.

See what others had to share with OP:

lalalaurrenn −  That’s his baby.

miserylovescomputers −  Sounds like she’s pregnant with his child tbh.

[Reddit User] −  Most likely scenarios are:. 1) he is the father of the baby. 2) he has feelings for her 3) she is blackmailing him for something

[Reddit User] −  Yup, gotta hop on the “it’s his baby” bandwagon.

allyourcritbotthings −  I don’t know how you haven’t asked him if he’s the father at this point… this is just really weird behavior. It’d be one thing if you guys had kids of your own and were done with babies, so he was just offering up anything you had in good condition that you would have otherwise donated, but he’s taking a very, very active role in her pregnancy. And I don’t know how you find out why, because he doesn’t want to tell you.

Dunkindoh −  Have you met her?. Have you asked to meet her?. If not, you should.

Yetikins −  Does Kelsey even know you exist?? She’s definitely pregnant with your husband’s child, the only questions are has he been lying to her about his marital status and are you going to make him truthful when he tells women 10+ years younger than him he’s single?

vg360 −  His behavior sounds extreme, and your concerns are justified. It sounds like your husband is infatuated with her, or is getting some sort of kick out of giving her charity.
Think about giving him an ultimatum to get him to stop. Could also tell him that he needs to put double the amount he’s given to her into an emergency fund for you two.

h0nestly– −  I wasn’t even halfway through your post when I was convinced that it’s his kid. Paternity test as soon as you can.

notantisocial −  I am currently pregnant and I can tell you from reading the pregnancy subs that even fathers that are very committed to their marriages, wives and babies, even some of them are not that involved with the baby. My husband has made every appointment he could but he is not fixing everything little thing around the house and spending $2k on baby things.. It’s f**king weird.