AITA for telling my fiancee that if her cousin gets married on our wedding day that they won’t be welcome at our wedding?
A man shared his frustration after his fiancée’s cousin, Amber, announced plans for a courthouse wedding on the same day as his and his fiancée Nicole’s wedding. Amber and her boyfriend intended to attend their wedding reception afterward.
Concerned that Amber’s family might overshadow their event, he told them they wouldn’t be welcome if they went through with their plan. Nicole disagrees with his stance, and now tensions are high. Was he out of line, or is it fair to set boundaries? Read the story below:
‘ AITA for telling my fiancee that if her cousin gets married on our wedding day that they won’t be welcome at our wedding?’
My fiancee, Nicole, and i had chosen our wedding date, booked the venue, and notified the immediate members of the family of the date and the pending save the date mailings. Nicole’s cousin, Amber, found out that we had announced the date and called Nicole upset that we had booked a wedding on her wedding date.
We were confused because Amber and her boyfriend weren’t even engaged, but she and her boyfriend claimed that they knew that was the date they were getting married. They were going to do a courthouse wedding with their families, then wanted to come to our wedding.
I told everyone I wasn’t comfortable with that because Amber’s side of the family are completely self-centered, and I didn’t want them trying to take over our wedding/reception. I stood my ground and told Amber and her boyfriend that if they got married on our wedding day, they wouldn’t be welcome, and I’d let the planner and venue staff that they would be turned away,
and I’d be willing to hire extra staff to make sure they were refused entry. We also found out that the boyfriend lost his job, which just cements my thoughts that they’re trying to get a free reception out of my and my fiancee. Nicole is upset with me because they’re family, but I’m just tired of Amber and her boyfriend trying to make every situation about themselves, now including our wedding.. So, AITA?
Here’s what Redditors had to say:
NotUntilTheFishJumps − NTA. Totally sounds like they are wanting a free reception, steal the spotlight, but with none of the monetary obligations.
RedBullMetal − NTA…. The cousin is a major a-hole for choosing to book a wedding knowing that her own cousin was getting married that day. Whoever books first is right in this situation. You booked first, and she’s horrible for choosing the same day. She had 364 other days to choose from. Don’t feel bad. You are 100% right!
GingieB − NTA. They are not even engaged which makes it highly suspicious!
phillysportsfangirl − NTA: They’re definitely looking to use your reception. Beware, though, because they’ll probably still try it even if they change their wedding date. Why not just leave them off the guest list entirely?
spoonfullofrage − NTA, you have to be firm with moochers like these. ANY other day you would have announced would have resulted in them saying “oh, but that is OUR day, oh well, guess we’ll bring all our guests to your reception teehee”. Stand your ground.
GoddessofWind − NTA – Oh this is priceless. So Amber and her bf decided, without telling anyone or being engaged, that they were going to get married on the exact same day you chose. When she found out about this unfortunate wedding clash she phoned your df with the boo hoo hoos about how you’ve stolen her most special date and how she has the sadz.
BUT WAIT! she has a great idea to rescue the situation, she’ll get married in the courthouse and then invite all her guests to your wedding, where they can eat all your food, sit at your tables, do their speeches and probably push you and df over a bit so they can sit at the head table. The fact that by doing so she gets a free reception on your dime never crossed her mind of course, is she planning on coming on your honeymoon too!
This cheeky princess is trying to get a free wedding at your expense, of course she didn’t want that date she just saw an opportunity to steal your and Nicole’s wedding and so she’s laying on the guilt to try and force you into it. Tell her to do one and go pay for her own wedding.
abortionleftovers − NTA and I think you should not invite them anyway even if they say they aren’t getting married that day because they are totally going to lie to you get married in the morning and pretend they are the second bride/groom at your wedding and borrow your reception. This seems like a clear and bizarre attempt at having a wedding without paying for it
PoetryUpInThisBitch − NTA. she and her boyfriend claimed that they knew that was the date they were getting married. Cool; how were *YOU* supposed to know that?
They were going to do a courthouse wedding with their families, then wanted to come to our wedding.
And why didn’t they check with you that this would be okay? Nicole is upset with me because they’re family. Being family does not absolve them of being assholes. You are one of the people getting married and you have a right to decide how **your** wedding is done.
Lilybit09 − You gotta be f**king kidding me? Someone actually did this? My gawd. You are def NTA and if anyone tried to make you feel like you are you need to ditch them immediately. Fiance included.
legit_duck69 − Nta, they can’t plan their “special day” when you already have yours on that day and they know that, I’d say that instead they’re the assholes
Was he right to put his foot down to protect his wedding day, or is his reaction too harsh for family dynamics? How would you handle this situation? Share your thoughts!
For those who want to read the sequel: https://aita.pics/vVrvu