AITA for wanting to tell my brother’s fiancée about the tracking app he secretly installed in the new phone he bought for her?
A Redditor shares a difficult situation involving their brother’s secretive actions. The Redditor overheard a conversation between their brother and boyfriend in which their brother asked the boyfriend to install a hidden tracking app on his fiancée’s new phone.
After confronting their boyfriend, he admitted to the act but advised the Redditor to stay out of it, arguing it wasn’t their business. However, the Redditor feels uncomfortable with this breach of privacy and is considering telling the fiancée, especially since she is the one working hard to support herself. The Redditor is torn, unsure whether to intervene in this situation. Read the original story below for more details on the dilemma.
‘ AITA for wanting to tell my brother’s fiancée about the tracking app he secretly installed in the new phone he bought for her?’
Pretty much the title, My f22 brother m27 is currently engaged to his fiancèe f25. he bought he a new phone for valentine’s and asked my boyfriend who’s trained in computer and software to install a hidden tracking app on the phone so his fianceè won’t see it or notice.
I overheard them talking and when I entered the room they went silent. I waited til my brother left then talked to my boyfriend, he denied having this conversation with my brother first then, admitted to installing the app on the phone. I told him he and my brother were in the wrong because this is huge breach of privacy.
he said he has nothing to do with it and advised me to stay out of it as well. but I said I want to tell my brother’s fiancèe. my boyfriend argued with me about being nosy and intrusive and told me to stay out of it and let them deal with their own issues.
But I thought that was unfair to my future sister in law since she’s the one working, paying bills and rent and this is how she is treated? My boyfriend told me gtfo with this attitude and again, said I should stay of it because it does not in any way concern me. I don’t know I feel horrible after hearing about what my brother did and since I have a good relationship with his fiancee I can’t help but feel guilty and wanting to tell her.. AITA for wanting to tell her?
Take a look at the comments from fellow users:
Accomplished-Cheek59 − NTA. Tell her. But also have your phone checked out, cos your BF is throwing out CRAZY red flags.
AppalachianEnvy − Your boyfriend really said you were being intrusive, after helping put a tracking device on her phone?!!? Are you sure this is the guy for you, and that he doesn’t have one on your phone?. ETA:. NTA
theshadowppl9 − NTA That is controlling and abusive, she has a right to know. Also, based off your BF’s reaction, I would be concerned about there being a tracking app on **your** phone. Creepy on both their parts.
[Reddit User] − NTA – You would be TA if you didn’t tell her about it. Your BF and brother should be ashamed of themselves. Oh and as your bf seems to be ok with your brothers behavior you might want consider getting a new phone, just in case.
The_Turtle-Moves − NTA. TELL HER. my boyfriend argued with me about being nosy and intrusive …and installing a secret tracking app is what exactly, if not nosy and intrusive? Oh, yes, controlling and way over line. I’d get someone to check my own phone, if I were you
cunehos − NTA if you tell the fiancee.. YTA if you don’t tell her. Your brother’s behavior is creepy and controlling (in a sense). Also your boyfriend lying about the conversation with your brother is 🚩🚩🚩 and I think you should re-evaluate when your boyfriend thinks this is “right”.
What’s next? Your boyfriend has a hidden tracker on you too since he’s fine putting a tracker? Staying away/not meddling with something you know is wrong is just being as worse as the person doing the act (aka your brother).
[Reddit User] − NTA. That’s an i**asion on his part. Super controlling and potentially illegal depending on where you live. In the USA that is likely a felony. Let that sink in. FELONY and your BF and Brother are both doing it.
clinomaninha − my boyfriend argued with me about being nosy and intrusiv. Says the men who help your brother to track his fiancée. Not intrusiv at all, uh? You should tell her and also think very carefully if you want to stay with him if he think it’s appropriate and YOU are in the wrong for calling them out.. NTA
mmahowald − oh hell no. NTA. they are colluding to violate her privacy to control her like she is a child or property. Also, you should have someone check your phone for apps like this, because your boyfriend is comfortable spying on women. Tell her immediately because this is violating her rights as a human being from an ethical point of view, just ask yourself how you would feel if someone knew about this being done to you, and diddnt tell you.
ArcanTemival − Tell her. She has a right to know. Also, given your boyfriend’s attitude, maybe check your own phone too.. . NTA.
Do you think the Redditor should respect their boyfriend’s wishes and stay out of the situation, or is it important to inform the fiancée about the hidden tracking app? How would you handle a situation where someone you care about is being treated unfairly? Share your thoughts below!