AITA for refusing to name our daughter Karen?

A father-to-be shared his refusal to name his daughter “Karen,” despite it being his late mother-in-law’s name. While he respects his wife’s wish to honor her mother, he’s concerned about the name’s modern connotations and the bullying their daughter might face.

He proposed using “Karen” as a middle name or choosing a different first name entirely. However, his wife feels disrespected and insists on honoring her mother fully. The disagreement has caused tension between the couple. Read the full story to learn more.

‘ AITA for refusing to name our daughter Karen?’

My wife and I recently found out we’re having a daughter. We hadn’t really talked about names before but we both agreed that each of us will retain veto power. When we did start discussing names, both of us wanted to name her after our late mothers. Her mom’s name was Karen and my mom’s name wasn’t a meme.

I told her the baby can take my mom’s name as her first name and her mom’s name as a middle name, or have an entirely different name, but I can’t okay “Karen” as a first name in any case. She got offended because she just wants to honor her mother and thinks I have a problem with that.

I just don’t want to set our daughter up to be bullied throughout her life. I told her I’d be fine with whatever first name she picks as long as it doesn’t lead to the baby being picked on later in life, but she’s pretty insistent on Karen. We had a talk about this and why she had such an emotional reaction to my veto.

Ever since her mom died suddenly when she was only fourteen, she’s wanted to name her first daughter after her and she didn’t really ever consider that the meme might be a potential obstacle. By that point, I’d thought about it for a while and realized that, as many of the comments have pointed out,

Karen likely won’t be a meme by the time she’s old enough to feel its impact. So I told her I’ll recant my veto but we should still reconsider it because it still has potential complications and we might just come up with a better tribute.

While exchanging ideas, we realized that both our mothers very coincidentally had the exact same middle name, Elizabeth (well mine had two middle names, and Elizabeth was one of them, but still). It seemed completely perfect to both of us so we’re going with it. Thanks for all your inputs!

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

Acceptable-Message59 −  NTA, it was a normal name, now it’s a joke. Imagine “baby Karen”. People are gonna make jokes all her life.

brittypop87 −  I personally feel like the “Karen” thing will die off one day, and our childrens’ generation will likely not know anything about it. However, I can see where you would still be adamant about not wanting to name her that. There is a bit of a stigma around that name TODAY. I think you guys should take a different route in name picking and just steer clear of tribute naming. Good luck!!! NTA

TaterrrTot3 −  NTA. Give her 2 middle names and pick a completely new first name? Or if there is a way to combine your mom’s name and her mom’s name to create a new name, that might be cool.

Orrrrr, maybe you could suggest something like Corinne (could be spelled different ways like Korrine or Karyn – this is my middle name and it’s spelled Caryn) or Carley (Karlie, Karley) or Ren? Then it’s kinda still got some of her mom’s name in it to honor her, but also gives your daugther her OWN name, too.

[Reddit User] −  NTA. I get where you are coming from. We did the same thing except we used my mom’s middle name as her first name. That way we knew it was a tribute to my mom but no one else needed to know.

This was also long before the Karen meme started. Another reason we chose the middle name is we felt it would be weird and a little uncomfortable for me to have to discipline my child (which thankfully didn’t happen often) and use my mom’s name at the same time.

Raising_some_Cain −  NAH. you both have good reasons, you suggested a compromise and you’ve discussed veto power. I think the only solution you can find is to convince her to accept other suggestions and find something else you both agree on.

cedreamge −  NAH but you’re being quite silly, mate. Memes don’t live 20 years.

thatphotogurl −  Your baby will thank you for NOT naming her Karen. NTA.

SandwichOtter −  NAH. I have come around to really hating the name memes. I have used “Karen” as an insult a few times, but I regret it now. It sucks because real people have that name and it’s really not fair to them. It’s not like there’s anything inherently bad about the name Karen. It’s actually a pretty name beyond that context.

All that to say, I understand where your wife is coming from and I do think the meme thing is likely to die off by the time your daughter is of an age to be bullied by it. Plus, there are a ton of people named Karen who go about living their lives with this name and no problems. However, I also understand where you’re coming from.

You don’t want to put an unnecessary burden on your daughter. I also think the fact that your chosen name now gets priority might have something to do with your wife’s resentment. Why don’t you sit down together and come up with a mutually agreed upon alternative. Maybe even a variation of the name like “Kara”.

tunisia3507 −  Leaning towards ESH, in that you’re using the Karen thing to “win” the competition of whose mother gets to be the namesake. It’s clear to see why your wife would feel slighted when you would get your way thanks to a random passing fad. Use them both as middle names and pick something else as a first name.

FerretAres −  YTA The Karen meme needs to die a quick death and Karen as a name is an extremely normal name. Dislike it away and use your veto, but you need to stop calling her mothers name a meme. That’s just mean to your wife.

A couple having a tense conversation in a cozy nursery with light pastel colors. The father sits on a small chair, looking concerned and gesturing as if explaining his point, while the mother stands near a crib, holding a piece of paper with baby name ideas and looking upset. The setting subtly conveys the anticipation and challenges of new parenthood!