AITA for insisting that my boyfriend pay me for breaking my $3,500 model ship?

A woman (33F) recently lost her father and inherited a cherished, $3,500 model ship that held immense sentimental value. During her boyfriend’s (37M) birthday celebration at her house, he and his friends got drunk and started tossing the ship around like a toy. Despite her desperate pleas to stop, the ship was thrown and shattered.

When she demanded he pay for the damages, he called her “cruel” for asking and blamed her for not telling him about its importance. She wonders if she overreacted by threatening legal action. Who’s in the wrong here? Let’s dive in.

‘ AITA for insisting that my boyfriend pay me for breaking my $3,500 model ship?’

My F/33 Dad passed away and left me one of his last and favorite ship model, I had it on display in my living room. but for some reason I never actually mentioned it to my boyfriend M/37 of 6 months. Maybe because we don’t live together and he don’t visit often.

The other day he and his friends came over to my place to celebrate his birthday. They got drunk and started throwing the sofas pillows at each others. I told them to stop then went into the kitchen to clean up.

I then started hearing loud noise, I walked out the kitchen and saw my model ship in my boyfriend’s hands. I rushed to get it but he passed it on to his friend, and then his friend passed it on to the other friend.

I started running around trying to catch it while yelling at them to stop then my boyfriend grabbed it again. I was so angry I told him to hand it over but he said I needed to kiss him first. I yelled at him and he tried to threw it to his friend who tried to catch it but it missee and hit the wall and broke.

I lost it!! kicked all of his friend out then had a fight with him telling him this was a sentimental item from dad and demanded that he pay me $3,500 because this is how much it costs. He left then called in the morning asking if I was serious about wanting him to pay $3,500 and I said I was dead serious.

He started making excuses saying he was drunk and also, I never told him about this ship and how important it was for me before both monetarily and sentimentally so that’s on me. we had another fight and then I hung up upon telling him I’m expecting the 3,500 and that I wasn’t afraid to take the legal route if I have to.

He kept texting asking me to let it go and saying it was cruel of me to threaten him with the law. he had his friends apologize thinking this would be it but I insisted that he pay me. I get that I might’ve got worked up over an item and treated my boyfriend badly but to me it seemed like recklessness on his part. AITA?

See what others had to share with OP:

CakeEatingRabbit −  NTA. But he is 37? And treats you (mocking you that night) and your possesions like that? You deserve better.

drdish2020 −  NTA. Ship ahoy!!! What shall we do with a drunken boyfriend / What shall we do with a bully boyfriend / What shall we do with a l**er boyfriend /. When he breaks an heirloom?. D**p him.

Acedia_spark −  Nope NTA . I dont take new partners or guests on a tour of my home and indicate everything’s value so they know what’s financially or emotionally viable for them to break. These people were in YOUR house, disrespecting YOUR things and broke something important to YOU. He absolutely should be paying for it to be replaced or repaired.

[Reddit User] −  NTA. you didn’t treat your bf badly! He destroyed your property, disregarding you when you ask him to stop. This is a huge lack of respect on his part. If he can’t respect you more than that, he deserve to be single and have 3500$ less in his pockets.

Edit : Also, the l**e “I was drunk” excuse is a big, big, big red flag. Alcohol is never a good excuse. He is just refusing to take accountability for his actions.

Edit again : WHAAAAT I just saw this man is 37 yo. I was certain he was a teenager or very young adult. Please tell me you don’t plan on staying in a relationship with this boy…

TemptCiderFan −  NTA. Full stop. I don’t even need to see a picture of that type of model to know it’s expensive as hell. I’ve got $50 Warhammer figures I’ve spent hours building and painting I’d be f**king furious to see being tossed around like a hacky sack, let alone a presumably large, intricately detailed model ship.

There is no excuse for that behavior even if the ship was a cheap hunk of plastic you picked up at the dollar store. You said no. He and his friends didn’t respect that. End of discussion. He owes you $3500 and a big ass apology.

innocentsubterfuge −  NTA, at all. Even if it didn’t have sentimental value and was just a $3,500 ship model you bought at a store he would owe you the money to replace the item HE broke in YOUR home with HIS friends when you told him to STOP. Don’t bend on this.

Valoneria −  NTA. A wise store sign once said:. You break it, you buy it.

Veridical_Perception −  He kept texting asking me to let it go and saying it was cruel of me to threaten him with the law. Get your money, then get out of the relationship.. This guy is NOT a keeper. His behavior demonstrates a lack of respect. Being drunk doesn’t excuse it.

A mature and respectful person doesn’t play “keep away” with an item that is obviously on display in someone’s home. By definition, an item that is on display in someone’s home is valuable for some reason – financial, sentimental – it’s WHY the item is on display.

It’s common sense. Even if you want to ignore the lack of respect, blame shifting, and use of guilt to manipulate you, why would you want to date someone who lacks basic common sense.. NTA

JudgeJudAITA −  I get that I might’ve got worked up over an item and treated my boyfriend badly. NTA – I’m not sure where you treated your boyfriend badly? You treated a 37 year old man like 37 year old man, asking him to be accountable for his actions. He is an AH for not *vounteering* to make this right without your prompting, and he absolutely should have legal encouragement if he continues to shirk his responsibility here.

Upper-Olive8344 −  NTA KEEP COPIES OF YOUR TEXTS WITH HIM ADMITTING GUILT.

Was the Redditor right to demand payment for the destroyed model ship, or should she forgive her boyfriend since the damage was accidental and fueled by alcohol? Does sentimental value make a difference in such cases? Share your thoughts — would you insist on compensation, or let it go?