AITA for sitting on my husband’s lap during Thanksgiving dinner because all chairs at the table were taken?

A woman (28F) spent Thanksgiving at her mother-in-law’s (MIL) house, where all the seats at the dinner table were taken when she arrived. Her MIL had failed to save her a seat and gave it to her husband’s ex (Julissa), claiming Julissa was as much family as her. Upset by this, the woman decided to sit on her husband’s lap during dinner. This created an awkward atmosphere, and after the meal, her MIL criticized her for being childish and ruining the dinner. Read the full story below.

‘ AITA for sitting on my husband’s lap during Thanksgiving dinner because all chairs at the table were taken?’

I (f, 28) have been with my husband “Shaun” (m, 33) for 2 years, Married for 5 months. Most of his family are decent people but his mom can be a little of a passive-aggressive and tends to criticize me a lot. Shaun sees it as “her still not getting used to me being around” but IDK because she treats his ex “Julissa” good.

MIL says that Julissa has been around the family for age and her past with Shaun never affected her relationship with her. Fine, I never minded her attending every holiday and being around til yesterday. We had Thanksgiving dinner at my MIL’s house. Shaun went there before me and when I arrived it was already dinner time.

Everyone was seated and I saw that all chairs were taken. I asked MIL why she didn’t save me a seat and she said “sorry” and that one of her granddaughters decided to show up last minute and the chair was taken.

I looked at her then at Julissa who was sitting next to shaun and tried to point out how I was more deserving of her chair since I’m the DIL (I know shouldn’t have said it I know..I know) MIL flatout said that Julissa is as much FAMILY as me, and that it was rude to imply otherwise. Julissa was nodding confidently while glancing at me.

I was so upset I wanted to leave but decided to just sit on my husband’s lap and act as casual as possible. I sat on his lap asking if he was okay with it (don’t worry I’m petite, he’s strong built) and started eating so casually while smiling and complimenting the food and mentioning to Shaun how warm and comfortable his lap was now and then.

The table went awkwardly silence. BIL would try to break the silence and change the subject but it somehow goes back to being awkward. MIL AND Julissa were barely eating and were staring at each other than at me eyes wide open.

Minutes later, Julissa excused herself to the bathroom and so did MIL. It was still awkward but I did my best to focus on dinner. Shaun was eating as well. Later, there was just so much tension and MIL was barely able to speak after Julissa left (early, like right after dinner).

Shaun and I went home and MIL tried calling but then called Shaun and texted me saying what I did was inappropriate and that I ruined Thanksgiving dinner and made it awkward. She said it wasn’t her fault chairs were taken and I could’ve dragged a chair from the kitchen but acted childishly and made Julissa (and family) uncomfortable with how inappropriate I was.

EDIT: I need to mention that even if I took a chair from the kitchen. There was not enough space at dinner table to fit the chair. Everyone was sitting next to each other.

Check out how the community responded:

jaxbravesfan −  NTA, but the whole ordeal could have been avoided had your husband done what he should have done, and gave you his seat while he went to fetch another one. In fact, he should have already had an empty seat beside him waiting for you. I can’t imagine putting my wife in such an awkward situation.

Jemma_2 −  INFO: Why did your husband not notice there was no chair for you until you showed up? Did he just forget you existed?? Surely you just go and get another chair. This whole situation is ridiculous.

biglipsmagoo −  NTA.

1. I am not petite and I would have still done the same thing. My husband is a full blown gorilla/walrus hybrid so it doesn’t matter but even if he was smaller than me, I still would have done it.

2. I am never going to be accused of being a wilting flower and no one would dare try this on me- bc this is exactly how I would react. Right or wrong, I don’t care. Sometimes our statement needs to be loud and clear.

3. I would have played like I was fine there but, believe you me, this convo would have carried on in private with my husband. HE would hear from me loud and clear.

4. Bc I am truly not a wilting flower, I would be absolutely fine with reading between the lines with my husbands actions/lack of actions and acting however I felt was appropriate. Take that how *you* feel is appropriate, OP.

5. Most importantly- PAY ATTENTION, OP- I would never have to do any of this bc my husband would never put me in the position to have to do any of this.. You have a husband problem, OP.

ABeerAndABook −  NTA. But husband massively failed here. Why isn’t he managing his mom and shutting down her match making with his ex? Ultimately thus needs to go through him and seemed very passive in all this.

b1lllevansatmariposa −  NTA. MIL suggests after the fact that OP could have dragged a chair from the kitchen? It was MIL’s job, as host, to do that herself; failure to do so was an obvious attempt to make OP ill at ease. OP responded delightfully. It was MIL’s fault that it turned out the way it did.

Floppyfishie −  Hahahaha. She got outplayed. Tell her that if she wants to play games she has to deal with the consequences. Plus its up to her the host to have a seat for her daughter in law. NTA.

bulgarianlily −  Your husband should have got up immediately and either fetch the chair for his wife or given you his whiile walked around making it all as awkward as possible. Or he could have taken one of the empty chairs when the women went to the bathroom. Musical chairs could be the new family tradition.

coppeliuseyes −  NTA, you were just playing her game. Your husband seriously needs to start putting his foot down and standing up for you though, *he* should have told Julissa to move and he was saving the seat for you.

Kris82868 −  NTA. I feel like I missed something. Does he have children with his ex who she bought to Thanksgiving dinner? Minus that I have no clue what she was there for.

logirl1975 −  Everyone seems to be missing the fact that she made sure the EX girlfriend had a chair right next to your husband. But there wasn’t one for you to be found?. NTA MIL is trying her passive aggressive best to break up your marriage so her preferred choice for her son can have another shot.

Was it unreasonable for the woman to sit on her husband’s lap when there were no other seats, or did she take it too far by creating tension with her MIL and Julissa? What would you have done in her shoes? Share your thoughts below!