My [17M] rich girlfriend’s [19F] family invited me to go on a vacation with them, but I don’t think I fit in.

A 17-year-old feels out of place after his wealthy girlfriend’s family invites him on a resort vacation and insists on covering his expenses. While he deeply respects and gets along with them, he’s unsure if accepting their generosity is the right thing to do or if it might make him feel uncomfortable. Read his story below.

‘ My [17M] rich girlfriend’s [19F] family invited me to go on a vacation with them, but I don’t think I fit in.’

I’m not trying to be rude at all or anything, I just don’t want to be a burden or anything. My girlfriend [19F] and I [17M] have been dating for a year now, and things are super great. She comes from a very wealhty family, while I come from a really poor family (not as poor anymore). She lives in a 2 million dollar home, her family drives new cars, and she is just wealthy, but she is not a person who feels in entitled because of her family’s wealth.

I’m also Latino and her family is American/White (sorry if that’s rude I don’t mean it in a rude manner). I do get along with her dad and her mom very well and they helped me with getting in a good university since my family couldn’t really help since I am the first to finish high school. I am respectful towards them and all and since I work in construction and landscaping, I do some work around their house.

Her mom and dad invited me over for dinner and they told me they wanted me to come along with them and my girlfriend on a resort vacation lasting a week. It sounds nice and they said they had paid for me to go with them, but I feel real bad about it. Like, I wouldn’t be able to afford to go, but I saved a few hundred dollars from the past weeks of work. I do have some money to buy stuff over there, but I just feel bad and kind of emberassed that they are the ones paying for me to go.

What should I do? Not go? Go with them? Apologize ? Or what? TL;DR My girlfriend’s rich family is pyingn for me to go on a vacation with them, but I feel like a burden about it.

These are the responses from Reddit users:

DarthHornet −  If they didn’t want you there I can assure you they wouldn’t have invited you, or let you work around their house. You have obviously impressed them enough to trust you and you should definitely go on the trip and enjoy yourself. Make sure you go out of your way to say thank you for the invite to both of her parents. A card and flowers probably wouldn’t hurt for her mother as well. Have fun!

Heres_J −  Just a note from the other side… I’m not super rich, but I have a few friends with much less. I like to go to expensive restaurants, and occasionally share that with a friend who normally couldn’t afford it on the regular. The thing is, it’s really not a lot of money for me, so I’m not making a huge sacrifice to pay his way. I just enjoy his company and like to see him enjoy the good cheese board! The injustice of our income disparity makes me uncomfortable, much more than giving up a hundred bucks does.

I guess I’m trying to say, be grateful for being chosen to be included, but realize the scale of the financial gift may not be that large, to them. So don’t hesitate to accept it. It’s a good deal for everyone. This is probably unnecessary advice, but don’t draw attention to the price of things or how the price makes you feel — no “OMG I can’t believe this, it’s AMAZING, wow I’d never be here if not for you guys!” Or “A $15 margarita are you SERIOUS!!?” Bringing up that disparity just leads to discomfort.

But enjoy it like the vacation it is! If it’s the best margarita you’ve ever had, say so. If the view from the hotel is gorgeous, say so… and let them vicariously enjoy treating you to something valuable — not valuable because it costs a lot, but valuable because you actually enjoy it, just like they do.

alwaysallways_ −  Stop apologising for who you are and where you come from by thinking that you’re not worthy of going on vacation or being a part of their lives. They invited you because they want you there, go have a great time with your girlfriend! If they thought less of you they wouldn’t have invited you – don’t apologise, just say thank you.. Edit: spelling.

Luigi7777 −  If I were you I would graciously accept their offer and go. I think the embarrassment you feel is not letting you assess the situation clearly. They’re not doing this out of pity but out of kindness for you and love for their daughter.

cupateatoo −  They want to go on vacation with their almost adult daughter, and they know she will enjoy it way more when you’re along and you two can hang out and do active young people things. It’s probably true that their daughter will be a bit bored hanging out with her parents all day for a week. Also, they must enjoy your company. Just go. Make sure you bring suitable clothes, and be respectful and easy to be with while you’re there. You’ll probably have a great time.

[Reddit User] −  I know personally what it’s like to be the poorest person in the room and it does alter your perception of money a bit. My bf doesn’t come from a wealthy family exactly, more upper middle class, whereas I came from poverty. I view money as hard to come buy, squeeze every penny, no waste, work hard. I know how quickly everything falls away from one small disaster. If my car failed, I couldn’t eat for 2 days.

My bf however has always known comfort. He views money as a way to improve the lives of himself and the people around him. He has more than he needs for his physical wellbeing, so it makes him genuinely happy to use the rest of it to have a great time with his friends and family. He uses money to share the love.

It was a problem for me viewing money in this different way, and it’s something I still struggle with because it’s hard to break decades of programming, but know that these people are offering you this opportunity to travel because they have the means. They have the means to give you an amazing experience and they will love seeing you have a good time because they seem genuinely kind. They won’t miss the money at all.

They have more than enough for their physical wellbeing and it doesn’t put them out. They are just sharing the love. They also wouldn’t offer of they didn’t like you. Obviously they think you’re pretty great so you are already fitting in more than you think.

OtillyAdelia −  Hey there! So I have two kids, 20 (daughter) and 18 (son). We’re in a very similar situation, so I feel like I can offer some perspective. We’re not wealthy, but we are white and my daughter’s boyfriend, who is Venezuelan and unable to pay his own way, was invited to join us next week when we go on vacation. I also told my son he could bring a friend as he’s not dating anyone at the moment.

From the POV of a parent, you were invited because they like you and their daughter likes you. She’s at an age where she’s going to want someone her age to hang out with, do things the parents aren’t into, etc and her parents want her to enjoy herself. I know that played a large role in my decision to tell my own kids they could bring someone.

Paying your own way wasn’t a condition they wanted to impose. Because they’re generous, because they issued the invitation, and because you and she both are still “kids.” No one would expect you to be able to swing vacation on your own at your age (and back to my last point, it would be impolite to ask your parents to pay). Take some spending money for souvenirs, because that should come out of your own pocket, but otherwise, go and have fun.

The fact that you’re here asking this question means I probably don’t need to say this next part, but the mom in me can’t help it: be gracious and considerate of your hosts; say thank you; and wear sunscreen!

[Reddit User] −  I was in a very similar situation as you, dating someone way outside my pay grade. You know what people with money, who are good people, enjoy? Being regular people. They don’t want their asses kissed, especially by someone that they respect enough to let date their daughter. If you want to go, thank them, one time, and go. Don’t make a huge deal about it, just enjoy the experience and get to know them too. “Rich” people become assholes when everyone around them treats them like they’re special because they have money.

peachism −  Any paid vacation is a vacation you fit in at. Free food? That’s your food. Free plane ticket? Thats your seat. They wanna take you on a trip because youre a nice guy and they like that youre with your daughter. Does it ever feel like you dont fit in othee times? Do they try to change you or seem embarrassed by your background?

IHSRNO −  So look. My wife’s family is full of lawyers and doctors. I’m a carpenter. My dad’s a (reformed) felon. My mom’s a cab driver. I was super uncomfortable the first few times I met them for holidays and stuff. Except I had no reason to be. They’re all super kind. They don’t care about what I do, or what my family does. They took me as a new part of their family – and they show a similar kindness to my family. If they’re assholes, they’re assholes. But it has nothing to do with their wealth, and everything to do with them as humans. They’re just people.