AITA for always sending my stepsister to her mom when she wakes me up for comfort during the night?

A 16-year-old has been refusing to comfort his 5-year-old stepsister during the night after she has nightmares, insisting she go to her mom instead. Despite multiple arguments with his dad and stepmom, he stands firm, saying he doesn’t want to be responsible for her comfort. His dad and stepmom believe he should act like a protector and sibling. Read the original story below…

‘ AITA for always sending my stepsister to her mom when she wakes me up for comfort during the night?’

This is pissing me off but I (16m) need to know if I’m wrong. My stepsister (5) of two years has nightmares like once or twice a week. When those happen she comes into my room looking to sleep in my bed with me and for me to comfort her. But ever since it started I tell her to go to her mom instead. I don’t let her stay with me or check on her.

I just say she needs to go to her mom and I fall back asleep. Sometimes I find it hard to fall asleep again because it annoys me that she comes to me instead of her actual parent. It’s happened so many times by now and now my dad’s wife is getting more annoyed at me for not helping her daughter.

We argued about it five times already and the last time my dad was there and he told me I should be helping my “sister” and I told him that’s not how things work. I told them I’m not her parent and I’m not even her real brother so it feels gross to let her sleep with me like that.

They said we’re real siblings in her eyes and it’s not gross to her and I said to me it is and always will be. My dad’s wife told me I’m being a b**t and hurting a kid because of my hangups about dad remarrying.

She said I should try bonding over the fact we both lost a biological parent to death and I could be her biggest protector in years to come. I told them I didn’t sign up for any of that, but especially not being woken in the middle of the night and expected to help a crying 5 year old who has nightmares regularly.. AITA?

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

Square-Minimum-6042 −  The question you need to ask your dad and stepmom is, why doesn’t she go to her mother in the first place? That’s the natural place for a small child to go. Have they told her to go to you?

cgrobin1 −  it is your parents responsible to go to her when she has nightmares. If you do not feel comfortable as a teenage boy, having little girl sleeping in your bed, you should not be pressured into doing so.

it is inappropriate and creepy what they are doing. You are entitled to your privacy. There is no reason she can’t go to your parent’s bed. They are the ones being selfish and they are going to make you resent your step.. NTA

RosyClearwater −  NTA it is wildly inappropriate for them to expect you to let her sleep with you. You’re a teen, you need your sleep. They should be getting her checked out by her doctor and coming up with an actual plan to help her sleep.

RazzmatazzOk9463 −  NTA. You’re a 16 year old boy. All that needs to happen is for you to have your normal bodily morning occurrences and for your step sister to say something (probably innocently) and then your lovely (sarcasm) step mother to blow it out of proportion or someone else get the wrong idea as she is too lazy to parent her own child.

phyrsis −  NTA. As a short-term solution, can you lock your bedroom door? Or rig it in some way that it can’t be opened from outside when you’re sleeping?

joddo81 −  NTA. She should not be sleeping with you. It’s her Mom’s job to comfort her.

_s1m0n_s3z −  No. At that age, whose bed a kid should sleep in becomes an issue, and even parents have to make what feels like a strong r**ection to get the kid back into their own bed. If you don’t do this, they will still be there when puberty hits, and all hell will break loose. If you can’t send her back to her own bed, sending her to her parents is *exactly* the right thing to do. NTA.

SeaworthinessDue8650 −  Putting a lock on your door, will probably cause more issues, however, assuming your door opens inwards can you just put something heavy against your door so that she can’t get in?

Otherwise you are going to have to sit down with your father without his wife and let him know that you are not taking over his wife’s parental responsibilities. Tell him if they don’t step up, you’ll start looking for other ways to make the kid stop coming into your room.. NTA

Samarkand457 −  NTA. You should straight up tell your dad’s wife that you are not risking getting accused of being a pedo by snuggling up with a five year old girl whose mom has a grudge against you.

Fawnwhisper −  NTA. Its understandable that ur dads wife wants u to bond with her daughter, but waking u up in the middle of the night is not the way to do it. Its creepy af that they think its ok for a 5 yr old to sleep in a 16 yr olds bed. That’s not normal or appropriate at all.

Is it fair for a teen to set boundaries about comforting a stepsibling, or should family loyalty come first? Can a 5-year-old understand the concept of “step” when seeking comfort? Share your thoughts and experiences below!