AITA for leaving my inlaws christmas dinner after I found out that they didn’t make accommodations for me?

A Redditor shared a story about a tense situation during her first Christmas dinner with her fiancé’s family. She has specific dietary needs due to psychological factors and asked her future mother-in-law (FMIL) to make a simple accommodation for her. FMIL refused and told her to bring her own dish, but the Redditor felt this was disrespectful for a guest.

After arriving at the dinner and finding no accommodations made, she decided to leave, which led to her fiancé lashing out at her for being selfish. Now, her fiancé and FMIL are upset, and she’s questioning if she was in the wrong. Invite people to read the original story below.

‘ AITA for leaving my inlaws christmas dinner after I found out that they didn’t make accommodations for me?’

I got invited to my fiance’s family christmas celebratory dinner. It’s my first christmas with them. I have always been picky about what I eat. Can’t help it and it has to do with psychological factors, childhood, and personal likes and dislikes.

Before accepting their invite I let FMIL know that I wouldn’t be eating the traditional food at their celebration, and showed her a variety of dishes to choose from to accommodate me. She refused and told me to bring my own dish. I said if I had to bring my own dish when I’m a guest then I better stay at home then.

We went back and forth and I insisted I wouldn’t come if accommodations weren’t being made. I just thought it was a simple request and FMIL could’ve agreed if she really wanted me there. My fiance agreed that I shhould bring my own dish but I didn’t.

When we arrived there and I saw that no accommodations were made I got up, go my things and walked out and went home. My FMIL and fiance were shocked. I got tons of calls and texts from them both and my fiance came home lashing out calling me selfish and spoiled to walk out like that over a dish that his mom didn’t have to make for me. and, that it was my responsibilty to feed myself.

How is it my responsibilty to feed myself when I’m a guest? Makes no sense to me. I told him this and he accused me of starting s**t and ruining my first christmas with his family and disrespecting his mom. Now he’s continuelly saying I fucked up and should’ve sucked it up for the family’s sake..

ETA to clear few points:

* For those saying I have no respect for my inlaws. I do, especially FMIL. I respect her but this is so far the biggest conflict we had.

* I work long hours even on holidays so not much time to cook.

* I wasn’t asking for an elaborated dish or several dishes. Just one simple option.

Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

DecayedMagnolia −  YTA from one picky eater to another. I went to a Christmas dinner with my mom’s family. There was nothing I wanted, so I just socialized and ate when I got home. Why should she have to make a whole new dish just for you? That is pretty entitled behavior.

[Reddit User] −  Let me recap. You DEMANDED some food was made to your liking, and when people told you “no”, instead of cooking food for yourself… you caused a scene ?! Yeah, YTA. If you have things you don’t like to eat, it’s YOUR problem. You are not a child anymore. Start acting like an adult.

UsuallyWrite2 −  How many variations of this story do you plan to post? Before the holiday, you posted after being told they weren’t going to make a different meal and how you thought it was nuts as you’re a guest. Everyone told you then to bring your own food. And now you didn’t and you made a scene.. YTA

OrangeCubit −  YTA – they did offer to accommodate you, by allowing you to bring your own dish.

Aquarius052 −  YTA. Holy entitled. Pretty sure you don’t need to address her as FMIL. You’ll be single soon enough.

clockwork2004 −  YTA. You knew in advance that accommodations wouldn’t be made, yet you still showed up and made a bunch of drama.

TaibhseSD −  YTA. Your issues are just that: Yours. For you to place the responsibility for YOUR issues on others not only makes you an a**hole, but a presumptuous one at that. You were told several times BEFORE the event, that you needed to deal with your own issues. You decided to go, anyway. Good on you, for at least going.

However, you allowed your pride to get in the way, by not taking care of your own issues. (Basically, you said to everyone “Hey! They’re putting this thing together. I don’t care what they think, they WILL make me what I want”). In making the evening about you, you ruined the evening for everyone. That makes you the a**hole, here.

mamaMoonlight21 −  She refused and told me to bring my own dish. I said if I had to bring my own dish whrn I’m a guest then I better stay at home. What?! Why?! This alone makes you an AH. When we arrived there and I saw that no accommodations were made, I got up, go my things and walked out and went home.

I can’t believe you did that. Double AH. Now he’s continuelly saying I fucked up and should’ve sucked it up for the family’s sake. He is correct. Apologize FFS. Why are you so painfully entitled? Who in your life has put up with this s**t?. My God, YTA

walkerpurple −  YTA. You don’t dictate what your host cooks. If you’re that picky, you should have cooked for yourself. You sound awfully high maintenance.

cece8873 −  YTA. You are a self proclaimed picky eater. If you won’t eat a single thing they made then bringing your own food is a good compromise. Expecting them to cater to you is beyond ridiculous.

Do you think the Redditor was unreasonable in leaving after not having accommodations made for her, or should she have just accepted the situation for the sake of family harmony? How would you handle a similar situation when it comes to dietary restrictions at family gatherings? Share your thoughts below!