AITA for refusing to pay for my friend’s EpiPen?

A Redditor shared a story about a tense situation with his housemates after his severely allergic housemate, Jilian, had an anaphylactic reaction to food he had stored in his mini fridge. The Redditor had forgotten to label his leftover kare-kare (a Filipino dish with peanut sauce), which led to Jilian accidentally consuming it when two housemates went into his room without permission and ate it.

When Jilian had a severe allergic reaction, her girlfriend demanded the Redditor pay for the EpiPen. The Redditor refused, saying they were the ones who trespassed and ate his food without permission. Jilian later apologized for the incident, clarifying that the reaction happened due to cross-contamination, but the conflict over the EpiPen payment remained. Invite people to read the original story below.

‘ AITA for refusing to pay for my friend’s EpiPen?’

I have a housemate (Jilian 26f) who is severely allergic to peanuts. There are 5 of us who rent a house together and we all agreed to put a label in our food containers to help keep Jilian safe and avoid contamination. I have a mini fridge in my room where I store my drinks so that I don’t have to go to the kitchen if I want a drink in the middle of the night.

Well last Friday my Filipino girlfriend gave me an authentic Filipino dish for lunch at work. It’s called kare-kare, it’s an ox tail stew with a rich peanut sauce. It’s in a glass container, and I saved some so I can have it for dinner.

When I got home I put it in my mini fridge but I forgot to eat it that night because we ordered pizza for dinner. Saturday I went out with my girlfriend and got home at around 9pm. When I arrived Jilian’s girlfriend (Trish) confronted me saying I almost killed Jilian.

I didn’t know what she was talking about, she went on saying how irresponsible of me to not label the food in my mini fridge. I asked one of our housemates wtf happened and he said Jilian had an allergic reaction to my stew because I didn’t put a label on the container. I told them it’s inside my personal mini fridge and how dare they enter my room.

Trish said they were looking for beer when they saw my stew. She and another housemate ate it, Jilian only tasted it and she had an anaphylactic shock where they had to use her EpiPen to stop the swelling.

Trish then demanded that I need to pay for the EpiPen. I told them that is not going to happen. If anything they should apologize to me for trespassing and stealing my food. They called me an a**hole. She and 3 housemates said I nearly caused Jilian her life and the least I could do is apologize and pay for the EpiPen. AITA?

Edit for more info: Jilian was taken to the hospital. No, I never gave anyone any permission to enter my room. They were drinking that time and were looking for more beer. They ate the dish with some rice that they found on top of the mini fridge. I think Jilian ate some rice that had sauce on it. I didn’t get to ask the details of that exactly happened.

Edit/update: So I visited Jilian in the hospital today and she apologized to me for what happened. It was an accident. She said she didn’t eat my kare-kare but took some rice. She didn’t realize that some sauce got on the rice bowl, so there was clearly a cross contamination.

It wasn’t her who went in my room, it was Trish and another housemate, Ian. I will be charging them for the stolen beer and food. I will definitely buy a lock after this incident. Thank you all for your advice, judgement and awards!

Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

EngineeringOwn2299 −  NTA. Literally none of this would have happened if they had not invaded your space, without your permission, taken food that did not belong to them, and eaten said food. Perhaps this can be a lesson to them in the future, to not enter a space they don’t have permission to enter, and to not eat food that they do not have permission to eat.

ETA Holy guacamole, thank you everyone 💖

9okm −  NTA. You’re right, but good luck convincing them. FWIW I have a friend who’s allergic to peanuts (carries EpiPens), and I cannot imagine them touching unlabeled food. That’s nuts. Har har.

FlyingChipmunkAttack −  NTA. I’m even tempted to say it was karma for attempting to steal beer from your personal fridge..

Edit1: I wrote the wrong acronym.

Edit2: Surely they don’t believe their own BS. They must know they were caught red handed and this is all just a way to deflect from their guilt.

Edit3: Alright, let’s break this down..

**OP**: NTA. ..

**Trish**: A. .

**Housemate 1** (one who ate with Trish): *if they were aware of the food’s origin* – A; *if unaware but sided with Trish later* – A; *if unaware and sides with OP* – not A. .

**Jillian**: *if she was aware of Trish entering OP’s room to pilfer beer* – A; *if she did not condone the theft and was unaware of the food’s origin and blames OP* – A; *if she did not condone the theft and was unaware of the food’s origin and does NOT blame OP* – not A but still an i**ot. I do wish her a speedy recovery.. .

**Housemates who side with Trish**: A

Edit4: I see some saying they are young and it’s not really stealing, etc. All they had to do was send a text asking for permission before going in. It’s not the Stone Age.

emccm −  NTA. If it was the common area then yes, but they went in to your room and stole from your mini fridge. I have bad allergies. I never eat anything without finding out what’s in it first. When I go to someone’s home I specifically ask about dishes as I don’t expect them to remember my allergies. If anything your roommates should buy you a new meal.

Cat_got_ya_tongue −  NTA but I would move because I doubt leftovers is the only thing your roommate has taken from your room.

Comfortable-Ad-4274 −  NTA and you dont owe them s**t. Also, kare kare REEKS of peanuts?? I seriously dont understand how they didnt smell it. I can smell it when my neighbors cook it down the street 😅. PS- get a lock on that door ASAP.

CupofCursedTea −  NTA – I feel terrible for Jilian, but they should not have been in your room consuming your food/drinks, without your permission. Be kind to Jilian, but you this was not your fault and you should not have to pay for their assholery and her error.

indignant-loris −  “We were trying to steal your beer, but we stole your stew instead and the person with the deathly allergy decided to eat the unlabelled food with no idea of the ingredients and it’s all your fault.”. NTA

SimpleMindedFool1 −  NTA. There was a simple reason why the stew was in you mini fridge in your room: it was f**king yours. The way you describe it it seemed that you didn’t intend on sharing it with anyone and that you wanted to eat it yourself. Why should you label it then? Besides, taking food without asking is just rude. It may sound harsh but I would say they are more at fault than you ever could be in this scenario. If anyone should replace the EpiPen, it’s them.

intergalacticcircus_ −  NTA. no the f**k you don’t? you didn’t forget to label something in the communal fridge. they went into YOUR ROOM and opened YOUR FRIDGE and ate YOUR FOOD. that’s on them. maybe whoever went scrounging for beer should pay for a new one considering they can’t even afford to buy their own g**damn beer.

Do you think the Redditor should have taken responsibility and paid for the EpiPen, or were his housemates in the wrong for entering his personal space and taking the food? How would you handle a similar situation involving allergies and shared living spaces? Share your thoughts below!