I asked a question and my gf (f23) wants to break up with me (m24)?

A 24-year-old man finds himself in a difficult situation after bringing up a hypothetical scenario about exploring relationships outside of his current one. His girlfriend, feeling hurt and upset, now wants to break up. He’s unsure whether he was wrong for bringing up the idea, despite it being hypothetical, and is seeking advice on how to navigate the situation.

‘ I asked a question and my gf (f23) wants to break up with me (m24)?’

So me (m24) and my gf (f23) have been together for 3.5 years, its been rocky but we are going strong(ish). A few months ago she asked if we could open up to be poly as she wanted a strong emotional relationship with someone else as she wasnt getting it with me. Ive never really entertained the idea of anything like that, ive always been cis, but as i love her i said i would try it if it made her happy. Nothing came of this.

Fast forward to a few days ago she said she lost her s** drive and may be asexual, i said well, im a loving person, i need that in a relationship, so brought up a hypothetical of, if i cant handle it, would i be able to find that somewhere else, but stay with you. She blew up and said i just want an excuse to cheat, i just want her and myself to be happy together whatever means necessary.

I still dont want to do it, i only want her, and it was just a hypothetical at this point and most likely forever that way. She wants to break up over this. I just need advice as to whether im wrong for this?

Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

Aylassio −  So it’s not cheating because she does it and the same doesn’t apply to you?? That’s a selfish h**ocrite and cheating partner.

LancashiresFinest −  Sounds like she’s just been waiting for an excuse to break up with you man to be honest. She was happy to open up the relationship to suit her needs by going poly, and I’d imagine it was a bruise to her ego that she didn’t get any attention. However when you suggested opening up the relationship to suit your needs she’s against it. Cut her loose and let her ride the cock carousel, find yourself a girl who isn’t as much of a h**ocrite.

Eyupmeduck1989 −  You aren’t compatible, OP. Also I don’t think cis means what you think it’s means. It literally just means “not transgender”; it’s not related to polyamory or monogamy.

Serious-Fly4588 −  The polyamourous relationship was not healthy to begin with if you were not enthusiastic about it. Yet, you went along for her happiness. Then, she brings out that she might be asexual, you asked a question about how you would fulfill your needs, she got mad : well, she’s not willing to adapt as much as you did for her. You should accept that you are not compatible. Find someone who knows what they want and want the same type of relationship as you do.

Street-Lingonberry84 −  Perhaps I could be wrong but it seems like you both have different needs and wants in a relationship. With her wanting to be poly or asexual and with you needing it In your relationship its probably best to not waste your time.

TrickleUp_ −  Find a sane person instead.

moonlightcuppycake −  Incompatibility isn’t worth fixing… You both sound highly incompatible. You want different things from the relationship, and neither of you is getting what you need from each other. Why waste your time trying to fix something that will only leave you both miserable and unsatisfied? Just break up and find someone who will meet your needs.

Also, she was the one who suggested opening the relationship in the first place. She wanted to emotionally cheat, and you wanted to physically cheat. The point is, neither of you is happy. In my opinion, poly relationships can be incredibly toxic, and if you’ve already reached this point, this is already the end of your relationship.

EyeAdministrative665 −  So she wants to “cheat” but doesn’t want you to cheat? She is looking for a way out. You WILL get emotionally attached to the person you decide to see so she is right in being worried. Let each other go.

Samurai-Catfight −  You guys have a fucked up relationship. Why are you trying to save it? Just end it and find a gal who is not feeding you b**lshit.

wishingforarainyday −  I know you don’t want to break up your family but she already did. She bullied you into trying poly by saying you were lacking something. Now she’s trying to manipulate you again to get you to do what she wants. Your child is watching and learning. They deserve a better example of how a partner treats you. Your child should see you thriving, not stuck with someone who doesn’t hold your same values. I would recommend therapy so you can find your worth.. Updateme.