AITA for disowning my brother for abandoning a girl after getting her pregnant?

A Redditor, frustrated with her younger brother’s irresponsible behavior, decided to disown him after he abandoned a girl who had become pregnant by him. The Redditor (F25) found her brother (M22) throwing a “bullet dodged” party after the girl informed him of her pregnancy and asked for financial help for an abortion.

When he blocked her and refused to take any responsibility, the Redditor kicked him out of her home, where he had been living. Despite her family’s disagreement, she stands firm in her decision, believing that his actions were unacceptable. Invite people to read the original story below…

‘ AITA for disowning my brother for abandoning a girl after getting her pregnant?’

I am f25, my brother is m22. He lives with me since he moved out of our parents house, reasons are irrelevant. I came home to find him with his buddies in my home, getting wasted. I was pissed because he never asked if he could have people over (“Im an adult OP, I can do what I want”). Apparently he and his friends were throwing a “bullet dodged” party.

He had been seeing this girl for a bit. She texted him letting him know that she was pregnant, but planning to abort the baby. She asked if he could financially help her pay for the operation. He. Blocked. Her. I was *horrified*. Apparently he and his brilliant friends decided that she had lied about taking birth control, because “Its impossible for women to get pregnant if they’re on the pill.” ….. right.

I was livid. I was completely disgusted not only by their ignorance towards birth control and safe s**, but by the fact that he would block a girl and leave her completely on her own to handle a problem that he was at least 50% responsible for.

I told him, in these exact words “pack your s**t and get the f**k out” Obviously more than this has happened in the past, but this was my breaking point. I had tried so hard to bend over backwards for my baby brother. House him when he was homeless, help him get a job, give him rides… only for him to turn out like *that*? Nope.

So anyways, he and his friends stood there like they didn’t think I was serious. I said again, “all of you get the f**k out. I don’t want to see any of you here again.” Here’s where I’m possibly the a**hole. I told him in no uncertain terms that he needed to collect his things and leave.

If he was old enough to make big-boy decisions, he was old enough to find a place on his own. He straight up said no. So I lost my temper. I grabbed as much of his stuff as I could, crammed it into a suitcase, and put/threw the suitcase outside. I shouted that if he didn’t leave I would call the police.

Fast forward tears and begging, he was finally out. That night I got *several* messages that I was heartless for making him homeless. They pregnancy wasn’t his fault because: 1) it was an accident. 2) they weren’t a serious couple so he has no reason to help her. 3) she should have been more careful. I called bull, and said I would never allow someone with that sick mindset live under my roof.

I said that he is not my brother and I don’t want anything to do with him. My parents, my aunts, and some cousins are with me, but that leaves about 3/4 of the family against me. They think that I should support him because he is my brother, I should have given him time (he’s not on the lease btw, and he was *supposed* to pay rent but often didn’t), and the punishment just didn’t fit the crime.. so reddit, am I the a**hole?

EDIT: so I didn’t think this would get as much traction. I’ve already seen some comments about it, and gotten some PMs, so Im gonna address this now. I only posted this to find out if I was TA for *how I handled it*. If I am TA, fine. So be it. But I don’t care what your views on a**rtion are, or how you don’t think he’s responsible for her pregnancy. So please do not comment if you’re just going to tell me about how a**rtion is sinful.

EDIT 2: I cam currently trying to track the girl down. She is an old work colleague of his, and Im trying to find his old coworkers to figure out her contact info and see if I can help in any way.

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

Cynical_Manatee −  1) it was an accident. 2) they weren’t a serious couple so he has no reason to help her. 3) she should have been more careful. The people who said this are bigger assholes than you brother honestly. NTA, if that is how he wants to live his life i can see why you wouldn’t want to associate with him.

queencocomo −  NTA. I am SO on board with this. If my own son acted this way i would have done EXACTLY what you did. I support this so f**king hard.

StrongerThanYouKnow5 −  NTA. Those are healthy boundaries to set and he’s being a total a**hole. Also? Half of an a**rtion is hella cheaper than child support for 18 years. He’s a dumb ass to not support her. Total dumb ass. ETA: Thank you for the most upvotes I’ve ever received on a comment. Who knew this would blow up?

LadyCashier −  NTA He left this girl to figure out s**t on her own so thats what he gets. He was living the good life with you to take care of him. Let him suffer and spend some time in a homeless shelter. Maybe hell get a job and get his life together. This is his wakeup call to life. You cant be the scum of the earth and expect people not to call you out on it.

Your family cant yell at you about family and b**lshit like that while IGNORING what he did to this girl and her life. As a male hes already safer in a homeless shelter than a woman, especially a pregnant or young one. Yes it will s**k for him but guess what? He gets to learn to deal with s**t on his own just like shell have to. Act like a deadbeat get treated like a deadbeat

Notinagoodmood1 −  NTA: People have to learn to take responsibility for their actions. You don’t have to put up with a bunch of wasted, narcissistic, “not my fault” kind of people. Stand your ground. If your family thinks you are the a**hole, what does that make them? Why didn’t your parents put their foot down because I am pretty sure he didn’t start using drugs at the age of 22.

Roatie −  NTA.. I am with you 100%. You should support your brother because he is family when he *threw a party* because he *dodge the bullet *? F**k that! If they are so worried the can take him in.

plzrecyclemylife −  NTA. This girl wasn’t trying to hurt your brother. She was on the pill, mistakes happen, and she fell in that 1.0% of girls that get pregnant on the pill. Furthermore she was being responsible in that she decided to abort rather than hold your immature brother responsible, and all she was asking was for him to pay half.

300$ for a single procedure versus 20 YEARS OF CHILD SUPPORT. Your brother could have just f**king paid it and gave her the modicum of respect anyone would for another human being. Instead he cut her out of his life and THREW A PARTY OVER IT.

I am floored you were so patient with him. If my parents caught wind of me doing something like that I’d be shitting teeth. You are not the a**hole, OP, anyone who celebrates abandoning a woman to abort their child alone is the WORST type of human.

Urechi −  NTA.. Pregnancy was an accident. Blocking and abandoning the girl after she got pregnant was **very much deliberate**

Goofball412a −  NTA- actually refreshingly so. Post after post on Reddit about men being forced against their will to pay child support and being victims of horrible women- THIS is a far more common reality. He is not the a**hole for getting her pregnant but for blocking her and refusing to contribute to an a**rtion (instead of being asked for a lifetime of helping support a child.) It take two people to make a pregnancy.

Binky390 −  NTA How can anyone in your family support him and think you’re wrong? It was ok to get her pregnant and cut her off?

Do you think the Redditor’s decision to kick her brother out was justified given his behavior, or do you think she overreacted? How would you have handled a similar situation with a sibling? Share your thoughts below!