Asked for paternity test. It’s positive. Now what?

A man (32M) who had a great relationship with his girlfriend (29F) asked for a paternity test after doubts arose about his baby’s fatherhood. After getting the results, he now feels deep regret and is wondering how to make it up to his ex and properly apologize. Read the full story below…

‘ Asked for paternity test. It’s positive. Now what?’

I 32M started to date 29F in 2021. We had a great relationship. She’s calm, sweet and considerate. We dated for a year then moved to another city. Everything was going great. We made new friends and built a life there. Problems started when a male best friend of hers decided to move to the same city and found himself a place right across the street.

Things started to change. He would visit almost everyday, my ex was people pleaser. I tried to make it clear to her that it’s getting annoying and that I don’t like that guy but she couldn’t bring herself to tell him or set some boundaries. He was handsy and flirty in a way I couldn’t stand.

She would hint that she’s not comfortable and he would behave but 5 mins later he starts with his usual. And she end up telling me that he mean nothing and he’s like this with everyone. Fast forward to 2023. We found out she was pregnant. I was over the moon and both of us was extremely happy and excited.

He stopped visiting and after like two months or so he moved back to his city. My ex and I had mutual friends. That’s where one of our friends started connecting dots and started telling me how she had suspected something but kept quiet because she didn’t want to be the reason a two people separate but can’t hold this anymore. And played with my mind.

She said that my gf and her best friend probably had a thing going on based on the way they used to act whenever we were out with our friends. And how it’s strange of him to leave just as she got pregnant. She suggested that I don’t put the baby on my name until a paternity test has been completed. I told my gf about this and she didn’t take it well.

She broke up with me instantly and after a few weeks agreed to the paternity test thing, but she made it clear that nothing will change, that she will never forgive me and won’t ever come back to me if I ever regret what I did and ask for forgiveness. I told her we could just forget about the test but she insisted. Our boy came few days ago and we did the test.

Yesterday I got the results. And yes, I feel my chest terribly tight with regret. I didn’t drink or eat anything, I couldn’t even bring myself to go to work today. What do I do now? When we broke up I never stopped helping throughout the pregnancy, she refused almost everything but still I was always there for her

Deep down I knew that baby was mine but the damage was done and I went with the plan. What to do now? How do I make it up to her? I know she would never come back to me. But how do I properly apologize? Just what to do now?

Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

FruitParfait −  What do you do now? Apologize, Provide child support or work out custody agreements and be a good co-parent. That’s all you can do.

Far_Nefariousness773 −  Just co parent. It’s over.

Taliesine_ −  Don’t be surprised when “the friend” that poisoned your mind makes a move to get you

ThreeRingShitshow −  And when the ‘friend’ who preyed on your fears and broke you both up, as she knew it would, makes a play for you, turn her down flat.
Be present for your ex and the baby and maybe ask for marital counselling to help negotiate the separation. There MAY be a chance for your relationship in that scenario. Work on it and own your faults.

Quarkiness −  Ex best friend was too pushy and did not respect ex’s boundaries. Probably he was in love with her. Leaves after she gets pregnant since he no longer can be with her. Mutual friend creates drama that ultimately makes you two break up. Motive unknown.

Your ex girlfriend loses her best friend for whatever reason and has not cheated on you but know she can’t be with you since you didn’t trust her. What you can do now is properly co-parent and supportive. Try to be a better man.

canyonemoon −  You can’t fix your romantic relationship, all you can do is focus on building the best kind of co-parenting relationship with your ex for the sake of your son. Congratulations on the little boy, focus on being the best dad for him, and stop listening to your detective friends unless they have actual solid proof beyond their “connecting the dots” gut feeling. Also she broke up with you, she’s not your girlfriend, she’s your ex.

Iren-larson −  Well that mutual friend of yours or shall we call her detective probably was a jealous bit’ch of your ex, your ex girlfriend’s best friend acts didn’t help but you shouldn’t have acted based on your called friend assumptions tho. Congrats on the baby boy

CriticalSimple3122 −  You know this can’t be fixed, right? You apologise and work on establishing a good co parenting relationship with your ex. You might also want to look into why you were so eager to believe your ‘friend’ and their nonsense.

1000thatbeyotch −  Cut off the “friend” who created the doubt. Apologize and step up with child support. You accused her of cheating based on someone else’s tale. Tell her the whole story. The best apology is changed behavior and an acknowledgment of your shortcomings.

MimZWay −  Also OP – don’t trust the woman who stirred this up ny suggesting the baby wasn’t yours. Trust me- she wanted to break up your relationship. Maybe she wants you herself or she just likes creating drama but either way she’s toxic. You screwed up by not believing your gf and listening to someone else over her.

Can he make amends after asking for a paternity test, or is it too late to repair the damage? What do you think? Share your thoughts below!