AITA for kicking girlfriend out after she deleted dead wife’s pictures from my phone?

A Reddit user shared a heartbreaking story about his girlfriend deleting pictures of his deceased wife from his phone. After his wife’s passing, he started dating again and allowed his new girlfriend access to his phone to ease her insecurities.

However, she deleted nearly all of his photos with his late wife, calling them creepy and urging him to move on. In a fit of anger and sadness, he asked her to leave, leading to backlash from her and even his own family. Now he’s torn between whether he overreacted or if his decision to kick her out was justified. Read the full story below to decide for yourself.

‘ AITA for kicking girlfriend out after she deleted dead wife’s pictures from my phone?’

My (25m) wife died 19 months ago. It was real hard on my the first few months but finally started putting myself back out there. I met girlfriend (23F) 7 months ago. It was going pretty well and she moved into my apartment around 4ish months ago. In hindsight we probably rushed this.

My girlfriend is very overprotective and c**ngy and scared of me cheating as she’s been hurt in the past. I let her have my phone password so she could ease her mind. She saw a photo of me and wife and asked who she was and I explained. She seemed to take it well but was a little bit awkward about it.

Fast forward 3 days and I go to take a shower and leave my phone on charge in the bedroom. I come out to see my phone unlocked. Weird but I let it slide. Later in that day I go through my photos to upload a new profile picture to Facebook. All the photos of my wife and me and her together are gone without a trace. I check my Snapchat my eyes only because I had a few in there along with intimate photos of us together. I knew it was my girlfriend.

I confronted her about it and she started yelling. She said I need to get over it and get rid of all the reminders of my wife because she was here now. She also called me really creepy for “having nude pictures of a dead girl”. (Granted i probably should have deleted those a long time ago but I didn’t want to because they were special to me, might be AH on my part there).

I was livid. I told her to get out. She stared at me in disbelief as I told her again. She packed some stuff and left. I went to my room and cried. I woke up to many missed calls and angry texts from her and her friends for calling me the AH. This might not have been a big deal but she permanently got rid of 95% of the pictures of my wife.

I still have some printed like the wedding and some vacations, but I’m still missing a big chunk of them. I feel like she deleted a part of me as well. I’ve had to block multiple numbers (including my sisters, wtf). I do miss her though and want to talk but I’m confused. Reddit, am I in the wrong?. Edit: Spelling

Edit 2: Thank you all so much for your kind words and support. I’m taking your advice and kicking her out of my life for good. I’m also going to my local tech store later as they said there might be a way to recover my photos. I love you all !

Here’s what people had to say to OP:

[Reddit User] −  NTA. Don’t let her back in your life, she needs therapy for her issues.

corbiebby −  NTA. Who the f**k thinks it’s ok to delete someone else’s photos. Doesn’t matter what it is. But ESPECIALLY photos of their precious spouse who passed away. Those photos being there so not hurt her in anyway. I’m sorry this happened. Are you able to retrieve some kind of backup? Try posting in a subreddit able to help. I’ve seen miracles happen for people who have lost special photos.

**Edit:** Hey OP! Check out u/shadowfury45 comment below mine! They have some backup tips that might help restore the photos!

cafejocky93 −  NTA – you handled this situation far better than I would have. She deserved to be kicked to the curb for that. Can you go to any IT place and see if they can recover the photos?

RollingKatamari −  NTA-this chick is nuts, block her everywhere and change your locks

LawyerBelle07 −  NTA. Those were your private photos of your deceased spouse and I am so sorry. That bunny boiler had no excuse to permanently delete what a) did not belong to her and b) you can never get back. She’s clearly an immature p**cho. Get well rid of her.

maggienetism −  NTA. She’s jealous of your late wife. As in the one person you can literally never ever cheat on her with. She completely ruined memories that you cannot get back due to her own insecurities and need to control you and didn’t even apologize.

leighton3214 −  NTA – take your phone to a data recovery place ASAP and try not to take many new photos until you do! There’s a good chance they can get the photos back

lifeisshort84 −  NTA – don’t let her manipulate you – those were your memories to hold onto.. Edit: fixed a word.

[Reddit User] −  NTA. I’m so sorry you lost not only your wife, but so many pictures of her. I get how your girlfriend feels – living in the shadow of a spouse who has passed can be very difficult – but she took a permanent, irrevocable step as the only step.

Instead of asking you to keep the pictures on a flash drive, or make some other compromise where they were somewhere safe but weren’t on your phone, your girlfriend made a choice for you that can be incredibly damaging, and will likely mean more grieving. While kicking her out is also a pretty drastic step, it’s understandable and at least undoable if you end up changing your mind. Whether or not you do should be entirely up to you.

perhapsnew −  NTA. Don’t make any new photos and take the phone to repair and ask to restore all deleted photos. girlfriend is very overprotective and c**ngy and scared of me cheating Are you sure she were not cheating on you? This *overprotection* often is a projection.

I confronted her about it and she started yelling. Break up for good. Your GF is unable to have a healthy relationship. Instead of discussing things, she stabs you in the back and then yell at you when you try to discuss.

Do you think the user’s reaction was justified given the emotional significance of the photos? Should the girlfriend have respected his memories, or was she right to feel threatened by them? How would you handle the balance between honoring the past and embracing a new relationship? Share your thoughts in the comments below!