AITA for threatening to financially cut off my son over a baby name?
A Redditor shared a story about a conflict with their son and his girlfriend over baby names. After the Redditor named their daughter Clara, their son’s girlfriend became upset, claiming the name Clara was “theirs” and insisting they should have consulted with them first.
The situation escalated when the girlfriend suggested naming their own daughter Paxtyn, which the Redditor found ridiculous. After refusing to change their daughter’s name and threatening to cut off financial support if the name Paxtyn was used out of spite, the Redditor feels conflicted. Was their reaction justified, or did they overstep in trying to control the situation? Read the full story below.
‘ AITA for threatening to financially cut off my son over a baby name?’
I had my son fairly young and I recently had a change of life baby. When I was four months pregnant my son, who was in college at the time told me that he had gotten his girlfriend pregnant. I wasn’t very happy but I’ve been supportive and I’ve given them a lot of financial assistance.
I had my daughter two months ago and named her Clara. My son’s girlfriend went ballistic. She said they were going to name their daughter Clara and that I should have consulted with them (umm I got pregnant first, but whatever) I told her she needs to grow up and that she doesn’t own the name. My son asked me if I would consider changing Clara’s name. I said no and he stormed out of the house.
Well they told me the other day they are going to name their daughter Paxtyn. I guess I made a face and she started yelling at me that it is my fault, because I stole the only name she likes. I even asked her if she likes the name Paxtyn and she said she is going to like it when I have to tell my friends I have a granddaughter named Paxtyn. So she pretty much said she hates me more than she loves her daughter.
My son said I have two months to fix this (change Clara’s name) and I told them that they are both idiots, and I feel bad for their future child. I also said if they name their daughter Paxtyn just to be spiteful I will not give them any further assistance. My son called me up and said I was being controlling, but when I asked him if he actually likes the name he hung up
Edit: They never mentioned the name Clara to me
Second Edit: Alright, I took some of your advice and texted her that I’ve been thinking about it and I kind of like the name Paxtyn and she wrote back “f**k you, you evil b**ch” so I think that’s the end of their money.
See what others had to share with OP:
[Reddit User] − NTA. they have no claim to the name. You can name your child whatever you choose. Are they planning on making everyone with that name change it? And if they’re “responsible” enough to have a child, they should be perfectly capable of supporting themselves without your help financially.. EDIT: spelling
LeMot-Juste − You shouldn’t be financially supporting your son and his family anyway. Pay for his college, sure. But this k**cklehead knocked up his gf all by himself, so let him be a real daddy, not a pretend daddy, and take care of his family. Let him work 20 hours every weekend supporting them while he’s in school. Let him learn how to budget. Let him learn what it means to be a parent.
That was your mistake, right there. Blaming a name, retroactively, is passive aggressive and immature. You could say “Great! I’ll call her Paxy-Toodles! Whee!” without threatening to withhold money you shouldn’t be giving in the first place.
You are playing their game rather than being a parent. You have every right to refuse to assist them but you are taking an adolescent stance as to why. Better to be clear with them, before the baby is born, as to why you are cutting off assistance. They need to grow up, as do you, and quit this b**lshit.
SqueaksBCOD − ESH. just tell them to also name the kid Clara and be done with it. Plenty of families have 3 (and sometimes 4) generations of men with the same name… you can handle two Clara’s if it that big a deal.
TopaztheBigBoss − Wait, what? You had a daughter and named her. Your son’s gf wants the name for her unborn child. Your son gave you an ultimatum to change your daughter’s name. No. NTA. Your son doesn’t seem mature enough to live on his own, less parent a child.. . Congrats on your daughter.
Dickduck21 − NTA but you played this wrong. You should have gushed about the name Paxtyn – just been really supportive and talked about how you couldn’t wait to meet baby Pax. Takes the teeth out of their ‘threat’, prevents escalation to this exact situation and might even motivate them to change it to something else. At the end of the day, it’s not like they are naming the kid Alibi or anything.
PotentialityKnocks − NTA. He and his girlfriend are being ridiculous. If they really are choosing a name to spite you, while also treating you rudely, I don’t blame you for wanting to cut him off financially. That said, from a practical perspective, cutting him off may mean you’ll never meet your granddaughter, so consider things carefully. Is there a compromise everyone could reach, like he’d name his daughter “Clarissa” or something close but still distinct?
RoyEsnarom − INFO. Have your son or his hg ever mentioned the name Clara in your presence?
[Reddit User] − NTa. Kids having kids. I already feel sorry for that unborn child.
zomboromcom − “Oh yeah, that’s my aunt. She’s a Clara, too.” There is zero problem here (at least name-wise). NTA
Thethethethrowawayay − I dont get why they cant name their kid Clara too, am i missing something? Im 20 with a much younger sister and when i imagine my child having the same name as her it doesnt bother me whatsoever…
Do you think the Redditor’s ultimatum was justified, or should they have approached the situation differently? How would you handle a baby naming conflict, especially when it involves family expectations and personal preferences? Share your thoughts below!