AITA for removing the bedroom lock after my husband ignored a family emergency?

A Redditor shared their frustration over a serious family emergency involving their 3-year-old son suffering a painful burn, while their husband refused to wake up from his nap due to his strict “no interruptions” rule. After knocking on the locked bedroom door and receiving no response, the Redditor sought help elsewhere, taking their son to the hospital.

When the husband later complained about the disruption, the Redditor made the decision to remove the bedroom lock in retaliation. Was their reaction justified, or did they go too far in their frustration? Read the original story below.

‘ AITA for removing the bedroom lock after my husband ignored a family emergency?’

Background about my husband : He stays up late at night and has to wake up early to go to work. So when he gets home at 5, he has to get his 2hrs nap so he could both make up for lack of sleep and also be ready to stay up late to play with his console.

He values his sleep and has one rule in the house that he enforces strictly, which is to not be interrupted while sleeping. He literally put a sign on the bedroom door saying ‘DO.NOT.WAKE.ME.UP” under any circumstances, just no, unless someone’s hurt or dead though; in this case he said he still wouldn’t be of much help anyway.

The kids and I would sometimes wake him up but for serious reasons. He got mad and started locking the door. I get no access to the room for 2 hours but that’s not the main problem. This past tuesday, my 3yo son had hot oil spill on his hand while his 14yo sister was cooking,

I heard him scream and saw that the oil was covering his hand and half of his arm, I brought the first  aid kit but he was in so much pain and his skin looked really bad. I rushed to wake my husband up, I kept knocking but got no response so I tried to open it but it was locked.

I spent a while between knocking on the door (he had his phone turned off) and getting dressed after my daughter asked the neighbor to drive us to the hospital. I couldn’t wast more time cause my son was crying. The neighbor took us to the hospital and I couldn’t help feel livid the whole time.

We got home and my husband was pacing around asking wherever were and why I didn’t answer his texts. I blew up on him after I showed him our son’s injury and told him that I pounded on the door to wake him up but he said had his earbuds on and didn’t hear a thing. I called him reckless and neglectful for ignoring a family emergency.

He said I could say the same thing about myself for leaving our son unsupervised and causing him to get a burn. I stopped arguing and went to remove the bedroom door lock, he started yelling at me saying I had no right.

I refusedto respond I just walked off to calm down. He didn’t stop complaining calling me bossy and saying that by removing the lock I’ve destroyed his peace and quiet and caused him sleep deprivation. He’s insisting I put it back but I refused. I could be wrong for what I’ve done but I was frustrated and mad. AITA?

Check out how the community responded:

OneSuspect1 −  WTF did I just read? Your husband takes an early evening nap so he can stay up late to play video games? Do your kids have any relationship with him because it sounds like he never sees them awake. Obviously NTA.

ToastedMarshmeowllow −  NTA. Accidents happen, no matter how much you stay alert. But I don’t believe your husband didn’t hear you calling, he chose to ignore you.

mdthomas −  NTA. I highly recommend consulting a lawyer and getting a divorced. Your child burned themself with hot oil. Your husband did not seemed concerned about this when he found out, but was more than concerned about a lock being removed from the bedroom door? He’s clearly showing his priorities: himself.

As other people have pointed out, why does he have to nap right after work so he can stay up late to game? It really does sound like he’s avoiding you and your children. Do what is best for you and your children. I absolutely do not believe that “he didn’t hear you”. There’s no way he couldn’t have. You would have been knocking so hard that it would have sounded like you were trying to break down the door!

MadamMarshmallows −  He says “by removing the lock I’ve destroyed his peace and quiet.” No, having kids did that. That’s part of being a parent. Too bad for him. You are NTA. If he absolutely must lock the door, make it one you can open in an emergency. A key or a combination. Though I think having a door he can lock his wife out of is a weird thing to insist upon, sleep or not.

[Reddit User] −  Nta but you’re married to one. It’s terribly convenient that he values his sleep so he gets to go home, not lift a finger while you do everything, then he wakes up, gets on his console and plays until late into the night. Like what is he even for?

stephanielmayes −  NTA. Your husband is being selfish and irresponsible. He is an adult with children and doesn’t have a right to stay up all night playing games and sleep all day while you raise the kids alone.

erin_kathleen −  NTA. Your son was seriously injured. What if the house had caught on fire? Would you have had to try and kick down the door to get your husband’s attention? The whole bit about him having to have a 2-hour nap as soon as he gets home from work bugs me. How about he goes to bed at a reasonable hour, rather than staying up late to play with his console? Does that mean he stays up late gaming? Sounds like he needs to grow up a bit.

shadow-foxe −  why can’t he go to bed at a normal hour like a mature adult does? This is on him for needing a nap for 2 hours! NTA

sparkicidal −  Oh my word! All kinds of NTA. If you have any technical experience, I can show you how to disable his console so that it looks like it’s working, though won’t.

woodslw −  NTA. Your husband needs to grow up. Seriously. So he is at work all day, comes home and takes a two hour nap, and then start gaming until late at night? Is he like 12? In what world is this acceptable for a grown ass man with a wife and children to do this?

Do you think the user’s action of removing the lock was a reasonable response to the lack of support during an emergency, or was it too drastic? How would you approach a situation where sleep and family needs conflict in your household? Share your thoughts in the comments below!