AITA for forcing a confession out of my wife about spying on my kids therapy sessions

A Reddit user shares a troubling family conflict where they discovered their wife had been secretly recording their teenage children’s private therapy sessions. When confronted, the wife initially denied it, but the user insisted she confess to their children, leading to heartbreak and strained relationships. Read the original story below:

‘ AITA for forcing a confession out of my wife about spying on my kids therapy sessions’

So for those that don’t know, I have two children M20 and F19 and ever since the world went to hell, I got them therapy sessions at their requests because they said that this was taking a huge toll on them. On Wednesday when my daughter went to attend the zoom session my wife had left to go take a nap.

I didn’t think much of it, but she came back exactly 3 hours later after both of them finished looking sad. Today the same thing happened and when I went to wake her up for dinner today I found her watching a recording of my daughter’s session.

I lost it. That conversation was supposed I will be private we had promised our kids that we will respect their privacy and do our best to help them when they need it.
I made her confess to our kids and told her.

They were heartbroken and they hate her. She claims that it’s my fault but she dug her own grave. Both of them feel betrayed and don’t want anything to do with their mother. So Reddit am I the a**hole for forcing a confession??

See what others had to share with OP:

cupcakesforme −  Oh man. NTA. What she did is a huge violation of trust. I can’t say I blame your kids. As a mom I get that feeling of wanting to know but just because their your kids doesn’t give you any type or right to know what they say to anyone! Good luck

ajbshade −  Holy s**t NTA. What your wife did was atrocious.

alphabhatiacharlie −  NTA- sounds like she’s part of the reason they need therapy in the first place. Those sessions are supposed to be confidential. This is a serious i**asion of privacy and a solid reason to not trust her anymore.

IAMbananas4bananas −  NTA- You were in the right. BUT question to you and reddit. Was it worth telling your/his children?? I wonder if this will damage them more. Was telling the truth worth the extra pain that OP inflicted on them during this crisis??

Legit asking – not trying to play devils advocate. Hoping therapist or other people knowledgable in mental health can jump in on this. I was trying to put myself in his kids shoes and I’m note sure I’d want to know…

csrpos −  ESH .. so f**k your wife and marrige then huh forcing a confession pretty weak imo how did that even go about how’s that dynamic.. .. but then again you showed your kids u have their back before your wife’s of course

arasaicul −  NTA and you should let the therapist know as well. This is literally illegal – I’m not saying you should press charges but she literally broke the law and she should know how serious that is, coupled with i**asion of her own kids’ privacy.

This is abuse and illegal. Maybe your wife should go to therapy as well. If I were you I would let her know you and the children will only be able to get past this if she gets help and apologizes.

naerthes −  As someone who recently started therapy I won’t even do my sessions in my parents house. I usually live with my ex as we’re working on things, but something came up and I had to stay with my parents for a couple of weeks. I instantly rescheduled my appointment to a time I know I’ll no longer be at my parents.

I did this because I’m terrified of them trying to listen in on the conversation especially because over the past 6onths whenever I’ve had to stay with them they’ve been extremely abusive and so right now a lot of my sessions revolve around the lack of trust between my parents and I, and how I don’t feel safe in their home.

My suggestion is that you either make sure your wife is out of the house during future therapy sessions, or find a family member or friend that wouldn’t mind hosting your children while they do their therapy session so that there’s no possibility of your wife overhearing or trying to spy.

She’s unlikely to try to watch the recordings again because she’s been caught, but I wouldn’t put it past her to try to listen in using some other method. You are definitely NTA, your wife is. I can’t imagine how angry I’d be if my parents or anyone else for that matter did that to me.

I’d also reach out to the therapist and ask what she suggests or have your children do it (they’re adults so they’d probably have to be the ones to do it). What your wife has done is wrong on so many levels and very well could negatively impact the relationship between her and your children for a very long time.

smorg003 −  How the heck did wife get a recording is what I wanna know.. Also, you’re NTA.. Edit: Zoom session. I can read.

Genericperson6889 −  You are not the a**hole she is

Was the Redditor right to demand a confession to uphold trust, or could this have been handled differently? How would you approach such a serious breach of privacy? Share your thoughts in the comments below.