AITA for screaming at & banning my SIL & niece from my home after they DESTROYED my houseplants?

A houseplant enthusiast spent years curating a prized collection of plants, only to return from a trip to find her niece and sister-in-law had irreparably damaged many of them. Her reaction—an outpouring of anger, accusations, and a firm ban from her home—has left her questioning if she overreacted. Here’s her story.

‘ AITA for screaming at & banning my SIL & niece from my home after they DESTROYED my houseplants?’

Years ago I got really into houseplants and started to collect them. Over the years Ive had up to 70, but whittled my collection down to about 35, just the ones I really love. My niece Jenny (14F) has developed an interest in plants and will come over and we will talk about them and she helps with propagation and repotting. I had to go out of town for two weeks to take care of some work stuff so I asked SIL and Jenny if they could plant sit for me. I told Jenny I would pay but also give her a few cuttings as a trade off.

They agreed and when they came over I gave a tour and explained the care needed, and also showed off a few prized plants. SIL asked how much a few of them ran me and I did share. This didn’t seem weird bc the family knows and Ive gotten some plants as gifts. Well I returned from my trip and was horrified. They watered and gave the right amount of light, but they also decided to give a lot of my plants haircuts. Big ones.

My prized cebu blue pothos mother plant was destroyed. The climbing one too. My manjula pothos had been done the same. My golden that I trained up my stairwell. My string of pearls, hearts, and ruby necklace all destroyed. My silver stripe philodendron. The worst was that my pink princess philo had been reduced to two leaves. And my albo monstera is down to three. I don’t even think they got nodes necessarily. These plants are expensive and prized.

I basically broke down and when they came to meet me to give back my key I screamed and screamed at them. Jenny started crying saying I said I would give her cuttings so she thought it was okay. I screamed at her to go home and get what she stole from me and bring it back NOW because SHE KNEW I DIDN’T MEAN SHE COULD DESTROY MY F**KING PLANTS. SIL got between us and said “what’s done is done.

I said no way, you’re returning EVERYTHING. Jenny said “Mom already sold most of them on marketplace”. I lost it and just screamed and screamed at them until Jenny was crying and her mom got in my face and told me I was having a tantrum over plants. I told her to get the f**k out of my house and don’t EVER come anywhere near me or my home again. I called my brother (SIL husband) and he was shocked and said they told him I said it was all okay.

He brought me the stuff she hadn’t sold yet and apologized. I told him I never ever want either of them in the same room as me again, they’re horrible, AWFUL, irredeemable people and that I hope they both burn in hell where they belong. He told me he gets that I’m upset but that I’m taking it too far and that family means not holding grudges.

I told him to leave, and I cried for the rest of the day. I am posting because I need to know if my edict is over the top and if I’m overreacting. So AITA for telling them that they are NO LONGER WELCOME in my home and not even wanting them in the SAME ROOM?

Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

TreadingLife1038 −  NTA – this wasn’t a misunderstanding. Your SIL knew exactly what she was doing and making a profit of it. I’m surprised your brother didn’t realize something was amiss.

[Reddit User] −  NTA…The part about “being sold already”. This was planned. This was about money. A 14 year old knows better than to steal someone’s hard work and sell it. As a plant lover myself. I am so sorry this happened to you. It must have been devastating. Edit: OP has had further conversation in the comments. They clarify a couple of things.

1. Niece lied to her father when asked about the cuttings in the first place. She told him that “Auntie said it was okay.” She lied because she knew they had both done something wrong. 2. The niece…has been in trouble for stealing before. This is super important to know. This girl was not influenced by her mother…because she very clearly knew stealing is wrong. They BOTH planned this TOGETHER.

She is not a clueless, completely impressionable girl. She is a 14 year old who graduated to stealing small petty items from strangers, to grand larceny of a family member. Maybe the graduation is because people excused her behavior the first few times she stole?

Senator_Bink −  He told me he gets that I’m upset but that I’m taking it too far and that family means not holding grudges. Yeah, well “family” means we don’t deliberately rob each other, either, but here we are. NTA.

jazzy_flowers −  NTA. Some of those plants can cost/bring in several hundred dollars. I have lots of plants as well, most were under 30 dollars. If anyone cut them up i would freak out, I have put so much care and time into them that it would feel disrespectful. It’s a form of stealing. Also I understand my plants and if/when they are ready to propagate and how to do so without causing issues to them. I would kick anyone out who messed with my plants. I would never let them back in.

No-Wheel-8798 −  For people saying she went too far, these thieves made THOUSANDS of dollars by stealing OP’s plants. Do people know how expensive pink princess or albo philodendron is? If these people took multiple leaves then sold them, they essentially made a lot of money by destroying her plants. Would people feel the same way if it was jewellery or a car?

[Reddit User] −  Did anyone else gasp to read they’d been sold on Marketplace? I did not see that coming.. And NTA. I’m sorry, OP!

KimmyStand −  Wow, NTA at all. They deliberately waited for you to be gone so they could steal from you. It wasn’t even for themselves, it was for profit. I hope you made them give you the money they received? It obviously doesn’t help, but at least they’re not profiting from your loss. What on earth got into your niece to do such a thing with her mother if she was so interested in your hobby? I feel your pain OP.

snoowflake97 −  NTA. fellow houseplant enthusiast here! I’d never look them in the eye again. The PPP??? And the Monstera albo??? And they didn’t even get nodes so they just killed the leaves. I’m so sorry this happened to you. Something I see people hung up on is you saying they should burn in hell, but you didn’t tell the child that, you told your brother that. That’s very different. Just don’t take it out on the literal child, and you’re good. Eff your SIL though. She’s the real a**hole here.

doing_my_own_thing −  NTA they knew they went too far. And for your sister in law to sell the cuttings she knew exactly what she was doing.

Enough-Builder-2230 −  Was this scam already being lined up when Jenny developed a sudden interest in the plants?