AITA for letting my nephew to call me mom?

Family relationships can be both complex and deeply personal. In some cases, a child’s sense of belonging can transcend biological ties and instead be forged through genuine care, consistency, and love. This is the story of a nephew—Billy—who, after years of feeling rejected by his biological family, found a safe haven on a hobby farm with his aunt and uncle.

Over time, as he experienced stability, encouragement, and unconditional support, he began calling his aunt “Mom” and his uncle “Pops.” Although his new family provided him with a nurturing environment that led him to transform his behavior and academic performance, his biological family, especially his mother (the sister-in-law), has taken issue with his chosen title. This article explores the delicate issues of identity, family boundaries, and the often-painful process of redefining what “family” means.

‘AITA for letting my nephew to call me mom?’

Family therapist Dr. Melissa Hart explains that “family” is not always determined solely by biology. “When a child finds consistent care, emotional safety, and validation in someone who isn’t their biological parent, that relationship can become just as—or even more—important than one based purely on blood,” she notes. Dr. Hart emphasizes that children have an innate need to feel loved and secure. In Billy’s case, his decision to call his aunt “Mom” reflects the deep bond formed during a period of vulnerability and transformation.

Dr. John Gottman, renowned for his work on family dynamics, has often highlighted the importance of “repair attempts” in relationships. He explains that positive interactions—like the warm, supportive environment provided by Billy’s aunt and uncle—can override earlier negative experiences. “If a child repeatedly receives care and affirmation from a particular caregiver, that person naturally becomes a secure base,” he says. By all accounts, Billy’s environment on the farm enabled him to rebuild his self-esteem and academic focus, ultimately steering him away from a troubled path.

Furthermore, experts warn that when extended family members attempt to dictate the roles a child chooses for themselves, it can disrupt the healing process. “Forcing a child to conform to traditional labels when they have already found their own meaning in a relationship can lead to confusion and resentment,” explains Dr. Hart. In this instance, the writer’s decision to honor Billy’s choice can be seen as protecting his emotional wellbeing—rather than an act of defiance.

Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

Many community members believe that if a child chooses to call someone “Mom” because that person has provided love and consistent care, it’s completely valid. They emphasize that the child’s emotional safety and sense of belonging should come first, even if it challenges traditional family roles. While a few worry about potential disruptions in extended family dynamics, the majority agree that honoring the child’s genuine feelings helps nurture trust and emotional well‐being, making it a natural, loving response rather than an overreaction.