AITA for pushing off a girl my lap and making her cry?

A Reddit user (19M) shares a story where he pushed a girl (18F) off his lap during a car ride, making her cry. The girl, Sarah, had been sitting on his lap despite knowing he has a girlfriend. When he moved her to his friend’s lap instead, Sarah became upset, thinking that he had feelings for her.

Later, Sarah texted him saying she was confused by his actions, while his girlfriend wasn’t bothered by the situation. The user is now questioning if he was in the wrong, given Sarah’s emotional response and the resulting tension with his friends.

‘ AITA for pushing off a girl my lap and making her cry?’

I 19M just started dating a girl I really, really like a couple months ago. I was hanging out with my friend I’ll call Joe who is also 19, and has a crush on this girl “Sarah”  18F. Anyway, we were all hanging out and there were no more seats in the car, so I suggested she sit on Joe’s lap, but she chose to sit on mine,

so I put a jacket on my lap so she wasn’t directly on me. I felt really uncomfortable because she’s just sitting her bony ass on me and I have a girlfriend, who she knows I have. Anyway, when we stopped to get gas I made her sit on my friend’s lap instead and she started to full on cry because I didn’t want her to sit on me and I had put a jacket.

I felt awkward and bad for my friend who likes her and she was just crying on his lap and said I was a j**k. She ended up texting me saying we have to talk about us and I said, “what are you talking about ‘us?'” and she said that I was giving her mixed signals because she thought there was something between us.

I said nope, I’m like this with all my friends, and she said I thought you were like that with Joe as a joke because he’s just your friend but me it’s because you liked me, and that it made her confused because she knows I have a girlfriend.

I said “nope, I’m like that with everyone” and told her I’m happy with my girlfriend and I don’t want to date her. She called me an a**hole and I haven’t seen her since. Her best friend texted me and said I was being an a**hole. I told my girlfriend 19F against my friends wishes (who are also her friends, not Sarah, but Joe is)

and she laughed and said that boys are so oblivious and that she could tell Sarah had a crush on me but she trusted me to make the right choices. Basically, she didn’t really care, just thought Sarah was kind of crappy for trying to go after a guy with a girlfriend. So, AITA? I legit didn’t really know she had a crush on me.

It kind of dawned on me that night. I never pursued her. I slept over her house once because I was too drunk to drive but I slept on the floor and didn’t let her near me, and I would mention my girlfriend a lot because I’m excited about dating her. Apparently she thought I liked her because she once asked me if I would join her art club and I said sure. I don’t understand girls. I really don’t.. ​

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

HaircutIdiot −  NTA. I think this girl doesn’t know how to handle r**ection.

007blur007 −  NTA – I loved the last paragraph.

pottertheotter −  NTA. You’re a loyal boyfriend.

tlcb84 −  NTA. I have no idea why she thought you liked her, seems like you were pretty clear.

KaleidoscopeDistinct −  NTA, You didn’t want her to sit on your lap, and she did anyway, and she started getting upset when you wouldn’t let her sit on you lap anymore knowing full well that you’re dating someone. I think it’s pretty clear cut.

INFO, Just to make sure, did you physically push her off of you? I don’t remember seeing that in the post. Or by push did you mean just tell her you can’t sit on me.

dontincludeme −  she thought there was something between us. Yeah, your jacket. (Thanks for the award!)

aznvet −  NTA. She showed her hand when she chose your lap over Joe’s (knowing you have a gf), and melted down when things didn’t go her way. I hope Joe was taking notes because this girl isn’t ready for an adult relationship with anyone.

UnsightlyFuzz −  NTA. As long as you have a steady girlfriend to interpret other girls’ intentions, you will do fine.

DemonicAnjul −  NTA. I’m a woman, so trust me on this, women are totally confusing and read way too much into every little thing. Especially if it’s about a guy. It doesn’t get much better with age. Btw, if there aren’t enough spots in the car, you guys need a second car. It’s not safe to ride in someone’s lap and it’s an expensive ticket if you get caught. (Ugh. Saying that makes me feel old).

[Reddit User] −  You understand “girls” just fine, because they are just humans like you. I get that it’s just a figure of speech, but don’t let it turn into Othering women, please.. NTA, Sarah is a j**k