AITA for refusing to cook dinner for my step mother and her guests after she’s been refusing to let me eat the food she cooks?

A Redditor, 16 years old, shared that his stepmother has been refusing to allow him to eat or cook any of the food she prepares. After months of cooking his own meals, the stepmother asked him to buy groceries and make a late dinner for her guests when her sister’s children came over due to an emergency.

The Redditor refused, citing her prior treatment and claiming it was no longer his problem. His father believes he overreacted, grounding him in response. Read the full story below to find out if the Redditor was justified in his refusal or if he should have helped out.

‘ AITA for refusing to cook dinner for my step mother and her guests after she’s been refusing to let me eat the food she cooks?’

16M here. My dad married my step mom just about a year ago. She didn’t want me to live here and wants me gone. I’ve insisted that I should stay as I don’t want to live with my mom (her husband is a piece of work…) so we’re always clashing.

She announced last month that she wouldn’t allow me to eat anything she cooks, or cook anything that she buys and I should arange my own food completely separately (down to the ingredient level, including salt!) because I’m not her problem to deal with.

This is annoying but anyway, I can handle it and I didn’t want to act entitled so I started buying and cooking my own food. We’ve been going like this since then. Her sister had an accident a few days ago and on the day of the accident step mother texted me in the afternoon saying she’s bringing the sister’s children over and they’ll arrive around midnight, asked me to buy groceries and snacks and make a late dinner for them.

I never replied to her and didn’t do anything. I have to say that while for a few hours it didn’t look good for her sister and had to go into surgery it ended up being successful and she will thankfully make a full recovery.

They came, she noticed there’s no food and they indeed were hungry so she was angry at me and I told her that it’s not my problem to deal with… and she said I’m being a j**k and I said takes one to know one. She ended up ordering Pizza.

My dad told me that I was out of line and I should have just done what she wanted me to do because it was an emergency, and I should have done a favor for her and it would have gone a long way to improve our relationshiop.

I told him that our relationship has always been hopeless because she hated me for no reason so there’s nothing I can do that can make her hate me any less and at this point I’ve accepted it and don’t care anymore. He said it’s not true and I’m now grounded.

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

Beneficial_Music930 −  NTA. Why is your dad allowing this to happen? You are 16 and living at home, you shouldn’t be paying for your own food. Make your dad fix this problem!

[Reddit User] −  NTA. You are NOT entitled. Your father is a real piece of work, too. I cannot imagine marrying someone who would treat my child so badly. I recommend you get away from all of them as soon as possible. (Yes, it’s what she wants, but is it really worth staying in such a n**ty environment?)

jammy913 −  NTA. She set a precedent in the home, and when it came back to bite her, she got angry. It’s unfortunate your dad allows her to say you can’t eat food she buys when you’re still a minor in his home, and it’s even more a shame that after allowing that behavior from her, he expected you to do for her sister’s kids what she won’t do for you.

It’s also not your responsibility as the minor in the household to “improve” your relationship with your stepmom who clearly resents you. It’s EXTREMELY unfortunate that you don’t seem to get along with the spouse of either of your parents.

I think you need to sit down and ask your dad why he has higher standards for you, a teenager than he does his wife, a full grown adult. I’m a stepmom and I most certainly think it’s my problem if my stepchild is hungry. I also don’t understand why he’d marry someone who is combative and not loving toward you. You are part of him, and she supposedly loves him, so what gives?

I’m not sure what I’d do in your shoes since either parent’s home sounds horrible to be in at the moment. Shame on your dad for failing to stand up for you though, when you needed it. It was the perfect opportunity for him to tell her that she shouldn’t expect you to do for other kids what she won’t do for you.

The kids got fed, she ordered them a pizza. There was no reason to punish you for not obeying someone who can’t treat you properly. She’s got some twisted priorities to think feeding her sister’s kids is her problem but feeding her stepson is not.

I’m utterly appalled at your dad for allowing her to order you to buy your own food. That’s reasonable if you were an adult living in their home, but not as a minor living in their home.

I do think I might use her food anyways and ignore her insane position. Or sit her down and iron out expectations. I think you need to tell her point blank that she’s set the example for you to follow so if she’s angry with how you handled yourself, she has herself to thank for your POV.

joedannn −  NTA. I will never understand how a parent can allow someone to treat their child like that.

Jagiord −  NTA. But your Mom can’t possibly be worse than your dad? You’re a kid and providing food for you is a parental duty. If he’s letting his wife dictate that you can’t have any food she purchases, than he’s a trash bag of a human and you deserve better. Get the f**k out of there as soon as you can.

LouisV25 −  NTA. Your father is the one in the wrong. No one should allow their kid to be treated that way. Step is heartless. I would not have done it either.

AceyAceyAcey −  NTA. Your step mom refusing to feed you is child abuse, and your father allowing it is enabling child abuse. You may want to look into emancipation: if you make your own money, and can rent a place to live on your own, you can file paperwork at a courthouse to be considered a legal adult. The details of how to do this vary with jurisdiction.

[Reddit User] −  Info: How did your Dad sire you when he has no f**king balls? NTA.

VoiceofConfusion −  If your dad is forcing you to buy your own food and not helping you with meals at all; that is very illegal in most states and you might want to inform him of that.

Aggravating_Ad9046 −  NTA. But your dad sure is. He needs to step up for his kid

Do you think the Redditor was justified in refusing to help his stepmother, or should he have swallowed his pride and helped out during the emergency? How would you handle a similar situation with a difficult step-parent? Share your thoughts below!