AITA for refusing to let my sister and her kids move into the house that I bought?
A woman bought her first home but is facing pressure from her sister and mother to let her sister and her three kids move in. Despite offering financial help for her sister to rent a bigger place, they insist on living in her new home. Read the full story below:
‘ AITA for refusing to let my sister and her kids move into the house that I bought?’
I’m a 32 year old woman and I just bought my first house. It has 3 bedrooms, a yard and is just what I need right now. I’m single and have 2 dogs. My sister is 34, has 3 children and lives in a 2 bedroom apartment. Lately, she’s been talking about how such a tiny living space is not enough for the four of them..
When she got to know about the house I had bought, she became very upset and told me I was being “wasteful” as I’m single and don’t have kids and therefor don’t need such a big space. I reminded her that what I do with my hard earned money is none of her business. She went on to complain to our mother about how “selfish” I was being.
Yesterday evening, I got a call from my mom telling me I should let my sister and her kids move into the house. MY house.. I told her that no one was going to live in the house that I paid for but me, and that extra space would be great for my dogs to play in. My mom also got very upset with me and told me I was being unreasonable.
That my sister’s kids are growing and need the space more than my dogs. I offered to help my sister out financially so she could rent a bigger place. My mom got my sister on the phone who shot down the idea, telling me I *needed* to let her and her kids live in my house. When I refused again, she very generously suggested a “compromise”.
I could live in the house with her and her kids and would not have to find somewhere else to live. She said this as if she was doing me a favor.. I told her she had lost her mind and hung up. Am I the a**hole, or is she? I know my sister is struggling financially but this kind of entitlement is ridiculous.
Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:
Snausagefestivus − I’m a 32 year old woman and I just bought my first house. ~~^(It has 3 bedrooms, a yard and is just what I need right now. I’m single and have 2 dogs)~~~~\~\~\~\~.~~ My sister ~~^(is 34, has 3 children and lives in a 2 bedroom apartment. Lately, she’s been talking about how such a tiny living space is not enough for the four of them.)~~
~~^(When she got to know about the house I had bought, she became very upset and told me I was being “wasteful” as I’m single and don’t have kids and therefor don’t need such a big space. I reminded her that what I do with my hard earned money is none of her business.
She went on to complain to our mother about how “selfish” I was being. Yesterday evening, I got a call from my mom telling me I should let my sister and her kids move into the house. MY house.)~~
~~^(I told her that no one was going to live in the house that I paid for but me, and that extra space would be great for my dogs to play in. My mom also got very upset with me and told me I was being unreasonable.
That my sister’s kids are growing and need the space more than my dogs. I offered to help my sister out financially so she could rent a bigger place. My mom got my sister on the phone who shot down the idea, telling me I)~~ *~~^(needed)~~* ~~^(to let her and her kids live in my house.
When I refused again, she very generously suggested a “compromise”. I could live in the house with her and her kids and would not have to find somewhere else to live. She said this as if she was doing me a favor. ~~^(I told her she had lost her mind and hung up.)~~
~~^(Am I the a**hole, or is she? I know my sister is struggling financially but this kind of entitlement)~~ is ridiculous.. Heartiest **NTA** possible.
Edit – thanks for the awards; I’m not certain they’re entirely justified but they are most certainly deeply appreciated.
One thing (and I know this thread is now locked, so if anyone has insights, PM me, maybe?**) I am not receiving notifications when people gild me.** I didn’t even know it was happening until I saw a little red and white shield next to my name, and a coin balance when I bought no coins.
If anyone knows what settings need to be tweaked so that I can actually know who gilds me, I’d be glad of the knowledge. I’ve done some poking around various FAQs to see if I can get to the bottom of it myself,
and thus far I have not. I sent a message to Reddit as well, awaiting advisement. Thanks in advance if anyone can help, and THANKS very much to those of you who chose to send me an award.
Antic-Waited − INFO: Did I read that correctly – she offered to let *you* stay in your house once she moved into it as a compromise? A house that you paid for?
[Reddit User] − NTA. DO NOT LET HER MOVE IN EVEN TEMPORARILY! I made the mistake of allowing my mom and little sister move in with me when I bought a large house and it was one of the worst mistakes of my life. The stress they will put on you and the total disregard they will have for your house will cause nothing but issues.
nidoqing − NTA. She made her life choices, you made yours – she cannot expect you to now pay for hers. You went above and beyond by offering her money to upgrade. She should not expect you to sacrifice your personal freedom so she can benefit.
UnsightlyFuzz − NTA. She should have thought of all this before she popped out three children. Do families like this really exist – where people feel entitled to what isn’t theirs, and enlist mom to back them up? I’d walk away from my family if they ever pulled that s**t.
Catwomanlover34 − HOLY ENTITLEMENT BATMAN!!! NTA.
[Reddit User] − NTA. You👏 aren’t 👏 responsible 👏for👏 siblings 👏having 👏 children 👏they👏 can’t 👏afford
[Reddit User] − WTF, the compromise was that you could still live in your own house? I assumed from the start that you would be living there with her. How in the world can someone be so entitled they think someone should move out of their own home and give it to them?! NTA. I can’t believe your mom agreed with her on this.
CFofI − NTA and don’t offer to help her financially again. The longer you’re helping her the more irresponsible and resentful she’ll become of you and your success. In turn she’ll just want more. As far as your mother goes I think now’s a good time for mom to get a few facts straight about what responsibility you have towards your sister and for that matter, her.
You help people because you want to not because of some entitlement they think they’re owed by blood. It sucks to say but they’re always going to have their hands out to you both financially and emotionally if you don’t draw a line and make it clear what happens when its crossed. You’re not the family fixer just because you have your life together. Don’t ever feel bad for doing good for you.
PerkyLurkey − INFO crazy question, if you moved out of the house YOU bought, and your sister moved in, where would you go, and who would pay for your new place? Second question, if you were ahem ….”allowed” to live in your own home with your sister taking over your entire home,
would you and your dogs need to share a room? Please don’t give this entitled person any money. Just save it for the children p, a college fund or their down payment on a home when they grow up.
Is the woman wrong for refusing to let her sister and her kids move into her house, or is the sister being unreasonable? How would you approach a similar situation? Share your thoughts below!