AITA for telling my grandma she looks like Ronald McDonald because she wouldn’t stop telling me I look like a bull with my nose ring in?
A Redditor recounted a situation with her grandmother, who repeatedly insulted her appearance by making comments about her nostril hoop, calling it “bull-like.” After politely asking her grandma to stop, she finally snapped at a family gathering and insulted her grandma’s red, permed hair, saying she looked like Ronald McDonald.
Now, some family members are upset, but the Redditor believes she was justified in standing up for herself. Was her response too harsh, or was it a deserved retort? Read the full story below to find out.
‘ AITA for telling my grandma she looks like Ronald McDonald because she wouldn’t stop telling me I look like a bull with my nose ring in?’
Here’s how it happened. Every time I see my grandma, she tells me something to the effect of “take that thing out of your nose, you’re ruining a pretty face by putting a hoop in it like a bull.” The last time she said it to me I politely asked her to leave it alone or next time I wouldn’t be so polite.
To be fair this is the first time I spoke up because I’m not confrontational but the older I get the more I stand up for myself. And for that matter, I shouldn’t even be asking my grandmother to stop making rude comments about my appearance.
Fast forward to today at a family get together, she says the same thing. I immediately shot back that maybe she should stop dying her hair red and perming it because she looks like Ronald McDonald.
A lot of people are pretty pissed off at me but A) I warned her and asked her to stop and B) she’s insulting my appearance so why is what I said any worse than what she has said to me a million times?
I’m usually all about respect and politeness but my nose ring (in my nostril not my septum by the way so the bull comment doesn’t even make sense) does not “ruin” my face and even if it does it’s really not her place. I’m a grown ass woman and I refuse to be bullied by any even older grown ass woman.. So, was I the a**hole?
Edit: getting a lot of comments about this so thought I’d make an edit. My piercing is NOT a septum which makes the weird insult even more stupid. Septum piercings are usually tagged as “looking like a bull” (I don’t agree with that) but I have my hoop in my nostril.
These are the responses from Reddit users:
Chirails − NTA – Don’t know why older people think they’re immune to being judged when they do it to younger people all the time
MakeAutomata − NTA, Being old is not an excuse to be an a**hole. If you don’t want to have your looks commented on, don’t comment on other peoples looks. This is something *every* human should understand by the time they are a teenager.
“take that thing out of your nose, you’re ruining a pretty face by putting a hoop in it like a bull.”. “Please mind your own business, you’re ruining a perfectly good relationship by being a j**k.”
SpicyMustFlow − ESH. Your grandma is *certainly* in the wrong for harping on your piercing. However, insulting her appearance isn’t a good look for you either. So while it’s perfectly understandable why you’d want to “give her a taste of her own medicine” you shouldn’t have sunk to her level, hence my ruling.
Story time: my grandmother was like yours, rattling on about my hair, my clothes, my weight. And one day in my late teens, when she chortled one time too many about my fat ass, I said to her “Grammy, this is how I look and this is how I am,
and if you don’t stop talking about my weight, I’m not going to come visit you anymore.” And she never teased me again. If you are polite but firm in saying that you are familiar with her opinion on your facial jewelry and would not like to hear it again, it just might work.
Sankdamoney − NTA. Why don’t older people remember that they were once judged by their elders?
cardiodemon − NTA — “bUT sHe’S yOuR gRamMa!1!1!1” okay but can we stop giving elderly people a free pass to say and do whatever they want, regardless of how rude? assuming of course that they have no neurological issue & are in reasonably good mental shape. if anything, it’s also demeaning to old people to just baby their views & treat them like a faultless kid (ex: “oh no! she can’t help it!”).
childfree_IPA − NTA. She insulted you many times before & you even gave her a fair warning that you’re not gonna take it anymore. I wish we were in the same family cuz I definitely would’ve had your back when that s**t went down.
lolzfeminism − You’re not going to like my answer, but please read it out. This sub is telling you you’re not TA because “gam gam was mean too” but that’s not right. I might have said everyone SH, but that’s a cop out answer to the question of whether you’re an a**hole.
Her comments are although inconsiderate and hurtful, ultimately aren’t mean spirited. This is true and you know it. Your comment however was filled with spite and h**red. It sounds like, based on your family’s reactions, you genuinely hurt your grandma’s feelings in a way that she didn’t. So yeah. YTA.. EDIT: fixed multiple abbrevs.
[Reddit User] − ESH. Two wrongs don’t make a right. Stay on the high road.
lionheart059 − ESH. If she’s an a**hole or being rude about your appearance, you’re also an a**hole for being rude about hers.. Being justified does not mean you didn’t behave like an a**hole.
[Reddit User] − Nta just cause your clap back was a1
Do you think the Redditor was justified in clapping back at her grandmother after repeatedly being insulted about her nose ring, or did she go too far with her response? How would you handle a situation where a family member crosses a boundary about your appearance? Share your thoughts below!