AITA for banning my MIL from the house after I discovered that she’s installed a camera in the bedroom?

A Reddit user shared their frustration after discovering that their mother-in-law (MIL) had secretly installed a camera in their bedroom to monitor how they were caring for their bedridden husband. The MIL claimed it was out of concern for her son, but the user felt this was a massive breach of privacy.

After confronting the MIL and banning her from the house, the user faced backlash from family members and even their husband, who threatened to move in with his mother. Read the full story below for more details.

‘ AITA for banning my MIL from the house after I discovered that she’s installed a camera in the bedroom?’

My husband (M33) got into a car accident almost a month ago, He’s been bedridden due to a back injury and I’ve been his primary caregiver. The pressure has been too much from my MIL, she keeps telling me to take care of him and be there for him constantly. She begged me to take time of work and I did,

asked me to send her hourly updates about his condition (first 2 weeks) but when I don’t she’d get mad and cause an issue. She visits everyday but doesn’t do anything to help, alternatively, she’d list all the things I should or shouldn’t do. The family keeps telling me she’s just worried sick for her son so I try to stay calm.

Days ago, she called to berate me about not replacing the sheets quickly, I had no idea how she found out since my husband didn’t call her. My sister inlaw called me to tell me that her mom installed a camera in the bedroom to see if I was taking proper care of her son. I was stunned, after searching the room I found the camera,

I called my MIL and had a huge fight with her. She admitted it and said she was just feeling concerned and wanted to make sure her son was being cared for (despite him calling her everyday) I yelled at her telling her that she’s no longer allowed into my home after this.

She lost it and went on a rant about how I’m stopping her from seeing her son and that not seeing him will literally make her sick herself. The family called me later to get me to back out of this decision but I told them she breached my privacy and took advantage of the situation,

they said I’m taking it too personally and that I can’t blame a concerned mother for wanting to make sure her son’s fine, especially since she listed things she thought I was doing wrong. I ended the conversation but my husband is upset telling me I’m being vindictive and that if his mom can’t come then he’ll move there with her. We argued then I went outside and he’s been silent eversince.. AITA.?

These are the responses from Reddit users:

Novykh −  NTA. Report it to the police. Let your husband go home to his mummy.

13jopbjr −  NTA. Let your husband move out then. That woman should be arrested! What kind of family is this???? Get tf out of dodge before you are entangled with children.

[Reddit User] −  NTA Jesus. I have a sick feeling she never would have uninstalled it. Check the rest of your house and block anyone who doesn’t respect your autonomy and privacy.

EffectiveGold8273 −  NTA. Your husband just asked for a divorce. Let him stay married to his mother. There are better fish in the sea.. Edited: Thanks for the awards!

Glittering-War-5748 −  NTA let him move, problem solved 🤷🏼‍♀️ where’s the conflict? The relationship is probably over, but have you not realised your husband knew about the camera? She installed it while he was in the room.

Jessdownunder −  NTA. Time for him to go live with mummy. F that report to police ad file for divorce. That family is crazy.

Auroraburst −  NTA WTF. You could have been getting dressed. You could have had some ‘alone time’. You could have helped your husband beat some meat. So many things she could have seen that she had no right to. I don’t even think I’d talk to her.

Silver_ghost17 −  NTA and tbh I think what she did was illegal???? If neither you nor your husband consented to it, it feels really really illegal You’re not stopping her from seeing her son, you’re preventing her from literally breaching your privacy in one of the worst ways she could possibly do again.

She had no right to install a camera in your bedroom let alone anywhere in your house whatsoever just bc she was concerned. She should’ve just offered to help whenever she came over instead of just giving you a list (I’m sure you know how to care for your own husband) and secretly installing a camera

Edit to add: if your husband says he’ll move in with his mom, let him. Let her take care of him since she’s this worried about him and he seems unbothered by the fact that she installed a camera in your own bedroom without you knowing

tatasz −  NTA I think your husband moving in with his mom while recovering is the best idea, as he will receive the proper care his family thinks he deserves. He wants it, MIL wants it, let them have it. Just let him know you will take him back anytime he wants it

kdkincaid −  NTA, let him move in with her. He has shown you where your feelings rank with him.