AITA for blowing up on my husband infront of his family during N.Y.E celebration after he joked about my birth experience?
A Redditor shared a tense moment during a New Year’s Eve celebration when her husband made an insensitive joke about her traumatic birth experience. Despite repeatedly asking him to stop joking about an embarrassing moment in the delivery room, he continued — even in front of his family. Her public outburst led to an argument about whether her reaction was justified. Read the full story below and decide if she went too far or if her frustration was understandable.
‘ AITA for blowing up on my husband infront of his family during N.Y.E celebration after he joked about my birth experience?’
I f25 gave birth to my daughter weeks ago, My experience was pretty traumatic and since it was my first, I had no clue what to expect. Forgive me for the vague details for privacy but I’ll mention all the relevent stuff, I promise.
When I went into labor I had the most difficult time of my life, I was in pain for hours. My mom was with me but she had to go and my husband was with me the entire time. I did something so embarrasing in the delivery room, I pooped myself which was unexpected and just…
I don’t know but it was embarrassing and although my medical team were very professional about it, my husband couldn’t help himself and started laughing about it later and even telling my family about it but they didn’t react, just didn’t find it funny and neither did I, In fact, I found it embarrassing and I already told him to stop bringing it up especially when he started joking about getting me diapers for my “opsies!!”.
It got really tiring and chipped away from my selfesteem and confidence. We were with his parents celebrating new year’s eve together when I excused myself to the bathroom.
while I was getting up he made a quick remark and said “oh yeah, you should go quickly because we don’t want any accidents just like the one we had at the hospital, you know what I mean?” While blinking at me. His family actually laughed and BIL commented “good one!”.
I was astonished and so angry and ashamed, I literally just lost it on him and yelled at the top of my lungs calling him a cruel insensitive j**k to be using the difficult experience of birthing his child as a joking matter and humiliating me infront of everybody. He was shocked, staring back at me and not saying a word.
All went silent and I just stormed off to the bathroom til we left and that was when he snapped saying I messed up by talking to him like that infront of his family during dinner, I said I couldn’t hold my tongue for that long and after he kept joking about an embarrassing thing when I told him to stop.
he said he was just joking and I went overboard with my reaction and also, I should’ve sucked it up and waited til we got home so we could address this privately and I could even yell at him as long as I wanted.
We argued about it after we got home and he kept saying I humiliated him infront of his family during the celebratory evening by being petty and trying to one up him… He even said I should’ve laughed along not fly off the handle liks that.. Did I overreact?.
Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:
innocentsubterfuge − NTA. What a cruel and immature joke to make, ask him to push a watermelon out his d**k and see if he can do it without any “embarrassing accidents”.
If you had addressed this in private he would’ve said the same thing: you’re emotional and overreacting. He did it in front of his parents and family to corner you. This behavior needs to get nipped ASAP. Women release bowels during labor ALL the time, you have absolutely nothing to be ashamed of.
invomitous-rex − NTA what the hell? So he can humiliate you by “joking” in front of his entire family about a deeply private, personal and traumatic experience that you have ALREADY ASKED HIM to stop making remarks about, but if you call him out on it in front of those same people, somehow you’re at fault.
His idea of “not embarrassing him” is pretending your feelings don’t exist even when he deliberately embarrassed you, just so he doesn’t have to lose face by being held accountable for his crappy treatment of you.
Absolutely the f**k not. He is one billion per cent in the wrong, and the fact that he thinks he can ignore your feelings about this entire situation because he’s “just joking” is ridiculous and pathetic. What is he, 12 years old? He’s supposed to be a husband to you and a father to the child that YOU brought into the world – if this is the best he can do, he already sucks at both.
The lack of consideration be shows for your feelings is astonishing. You owe him not one single scrap of an apology: if he doesn’t want you to yell at him in front of other people, he shouldn’t deliberately humiliate you in front of them.
All of this is on him. Feel free to show him this so he knows that he sucks a whole field of dicks in this situation and owes you a massive, grovelling apology.. And congratulations on your baby!!
samlom131718 − NTA. Pooping during labour is natural and expected by the doctors/midwives, that’s why they don’t bat an eyelid when it happens. Your husband is definitely TA and needs to grow the hell up and understand that you and your body have been through a traumatic experience. He should be supporting you, not bringing you down. You need to tell him that he’s acting like an immature child who is fascinated by poop!
Student_Cool − Not the a**hole. Start telling everyone about his erectile dysfunction, see how he likes it. There’s no excuse for ridiculing your spouse like this, especially just after giving birth and the associated trauma. Being mean isn’t funny, he needs to grow the f up.
Illustrious-Band-537 − NTA. You absolutely did not overreact. Your husband is an i**ot. An insensitive, immature one. Most women I know pooped themselves during birth. Your husband needs to grow up.
Left-Car6520 − NTA. You know if there’s one thing I really, really loathe, it’s that shocked pikachu face that some people do when you’ve been calmly and reasonably setting your boundaries and asking them to stop and they ignore it and keep poking at you, and you finally snap. And they have the gall to look so affronted. Like how are you surprised, buddy.
It’s infuriating. And as is typical, your husband then gets even more outrageous by reversing victim and offender. You shouldn’t say anything about his BS in front of others but he can joke about your rough brith?? Come *onnnn.*
xHappyAcidx − First I just want to say, I get pooping during delivery can be embarrassing, but you’re not the first mom to do it and won’t be the last. I peed on my doctor because baby wouldn’t let the catheter through.
Second, NTA. You’ve asked him repeatedly to stop making a joke about it and he can’t. And frankly I would have been screaming that at him in front of his family so they really know how much of a d**k he is. He’s humiliated because they know how insensitive he is being to you, not your problem.
DancinginHyrule − It’s only a joke if the person targeted laughs. Otherwise it is bullying. You asked him to stop, he did not respect that. You asked him not to bring it up, he has appearantly already done so to his family at least once since they understood the joke.
Why are his feeling of wanting to be funny more important than your feeling of human diginity? Seriously, most woman either pee or poop during child birth. You’re a little busy at that point in time, y’know?! Does he laugh when he is doing diapers too?
personaperplexa − He doesn’t get to make fun of you publically but expect you to respond in private. NTA. (But you shouldn’t feel ashamed or embarrassed about natural bodily functions during childbirth).
bubbsnana − NTA but your husband sure is. Head over to the nursing sub and ask L&D nurses how common this is! I’d also make your husband go to the ob follow up, and have the doctor speak directly to him. He needs anatomy lessons with charts and all. If your husband’s goal is to destroy a marriage, he’s right on track so far! He’s being an unfunny i**ot. Hopefully he grows out of the 6th grade boy jokes phase.
Do you think the Redditor was justified in standing up for herself after enduring repeated jokes about her birth experience, or should she have handled it more privately to avoid family drama? How would you react if someone you trusted made light of a deeply personal experience? Share your thoughts below!