AITA for calling a woman an i**ot when she refused listen to why my daughter isn’t vaccinated?

A young mother turned to Reddit after an argument in a Facebook group for moms. She explained that her 2-year-old daughter, who is immunocompromised after a heart transplant, cannot receive live-virus vaccines for medical reasons. During a discussion about daycare, a new group member accused her of being “anti-vax” and dismissed her explanation about her daughter’s medical condition.

Frustrated, the mother called the woman an “idiot” and was subsequently criticized by some group members for her reaction. To learn more about the situation and the debate it sparked, read the full story below…

‘ AITA for calling a woman an i**ot when she refused listen to why my daughter isn’t vaccinated?’

My (20f) 2yo daughter has had a heart transplant due to CHD and is severely immune compromised, as a result she cannot recieve live virus vaccines. I’m in a young mom’s group on Facebook and the topic of daycares and being a SAHM came up.

I said my boyfriend is the breadwinner and I stay at home with our daughter because I can’t risk sending her to a daycare as she’s not vaccinated. One woman, who is the same age as me with a newborn, started off, she’s a new member, all the other women already know of my daughters medical history.

She started calling me names and said I don’t belong here if I’m so anti-vax. I told her my daughter is a transplant patient and can’t be vaccinated. She just told me stop making excuses.

I said, “you’re an absolute i**ot, if you even looked at my profile for a second you’d know that I’m an advocate for vaccines and if you did a bit of research you’d know that giving someone who is severely compromised a live virus vaccine is a bad idea.”

She was clearly very upset, she posted a rant about me onto the group and a few of the members said I was an a**hole for calling her an i**ot.AITA?

Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

fairyfucker1989 −  NTA. It’s clear to anyone who knows anything about vacccines and how they work. The whole goal of vaccines is to develop herd immunity so that people like your daughter who can’t get vaccines are safer. It’s not JUST for the general population, but also for people like your daughter. She was completely out of control from the very beginning.

[Reddit User] −  Absolutely NTA. I advocate vaccination myself, but there are valid reasons (supported by modern, mainstream medical science) why *specific* people in/with *specific* situations may not be able to take X vaccine(s).

May_be_Antisewcial −  NTA I am extremely pro-vaccine, but I haven’t been vaccinated myself due to serious medical conditions. This is literally what herd immunity is for – to protect people like me and your daughter. Thankfully, my kids are all vaccinated and don’t have the same conditions I do.

Ok_Establishment96 −  NTA. One of my friends has a daughter who, while she can get live vaccines, does not retain the titters (I’m not sure that’s the correct medical language). Anyway, end result is that a few months after she receives a vaccine, it’s like she never got it at all.

So, not the same situation, but she also has to deal with people who don’t understand why her kid isn’t vaccinated (she is, she just might as well not be). Anyway. It’s not your fault that she showed her ass and couldn’t step back and say, “oh, I’m sorry,

I’m unaware of the situation and don’t understand the medicine behind this.” She doubled down. You defended yourself and your kid. Frankly, not sure what else you were supposed to do

Embarrassed_Deer7686 −  NTA – humans have two ears and one mouth. She should learn to prioritise them as such.

PotatoLover-3000 −  NTA. If anything your daughter’s status would make you want people to be vaccinated as that is the only way to protect her since she cannot be vaccinated. The woman is an i**ot. Stating something factual does not make you an a**hole.

DaTrentster −  NTA. You did your homework and she came at you trying to make it personal. Good show calling her on it and knocking her off her high horse.

OrneryFish8 −  NTA if she knew anything about being pro or anti-vaccines she would know that people like your daughter are why mass vaccinations are so important (as you already said you had posted on your page).

She sounds not only rude but uneducated and jumping in a train of thought she doesn’t understand and doesn’t sound like she willing to learn about. As for the other members in your group perhaps a “refresher post” about situations like yours and the importance of getting vaccinated could be good?

Holybouseman −  NTA Yes, she’s an i**ot. Not because she didn’t know about transplants, immunosupression and live vaccines, but because she went off on someone without trying to make sure she knew what she was talking about. That’s exactly what idiots do. You were right to call her out.

[Reddit User] −  Y T A – everyone should be vaccinated no matter what. No excuses! /s In all actuality though, NTA. It sounds like you couldn’t get through to her by being calm and normal. It’s really frustrating when people don’t understand how science works.

I read a quote somewhere that said “your inability to grasp science isn’t a valid argument.” Hopefully you taught her something and she won’t pull the same crap again with someone else.