AITA for refusing to drop charges against a 16 yo?

A Reddit user shared a troubling experience involving her 16-year-old brother and his ex-girlfriend. After their parents’ tragic death, the brother broke up with his girlfriend, but she didn’t take it well and began showing up at the family home, leaving gifts and letters for him.

The situation escalated when she broke into the house on his birthday and set up a surprise, which led the user to call the police for trespassing. While her brother is thankful, her husband and the ex-girlfriend’s parents believe she was just trying to be kind and want her charges dropped. Was the user wrong for not dropping the charges? Read the full story below…

‘ AITA for refusing to drop charges against a 16 yo?’

My brother (17M) lives with me (25F) and my husband (26M) full since both our parents passed away in an accident last Feb. He’s a great kid, but losing our parents made him a quiet, sad young boy.

I’ve tried to encourage him to attend therapy so he can work on his grief, but he has refused every single time telling me that he’s not ready yet. I get it, everyone works at their own peace and as longs as he’s not deliberately hurting himself, I won’t pressure him. I try to be as involve in his life as I can be without it being overwhelming, we both enjoy movie nights or binge watch shows on the weekends and he also helps my husband with his old car.

Before our parents passing my brother had a gf (16), she seemed like a good kid too, but after the funeral my brother decided that being in a relationship wasn’t what he needed at that time and broke up with her. Totally valid. But she didn’t take it good and was sure that my brother only needed ”some love” to heal.

Last month she began to drop letters and gifts to our door and my brother refused to open them every single time, she used to message and call him too and I could see the distress on my brother’s face. The worst thing happened last friday, it was my brother’s birthday and my husband and I decided to take him out, when we got back he went to his room and as soon as he did it, eh came down running.

Now, his ex found her own way into my house, arranged his room with photos of him with her, their friends and our family, put some balloons and was waiting for him with a cake, mind you, this is creepy as f**k, so while my husband entertained her I called the police and they took her for trespassing private property. My brother is thankful, but my husband and the kid’s parents are sure I’m overreacting and that I should drop the charges because she’s trying to do something nice.

jennoside10 −  NTA – if the gender roles were reversed I’m sure nobody would be okay with this happening. She’s refusing to respect a firm boundary that has been set. Play stupid games win stupid prizes.

Flaky_Tip −  NTA Let’s do the gender reverse test. A sixteen year old boy is broken up with by his girlfriend and sends her a bunch of letters, gifts, and eventually breaks into her house and bedroom. She’s turned into a stalker OP and you need to protect your brother from her.

sparklingdeadly −  She broke into your home. NTA.

[Reddit User] −  NTA. what your brother’s ex was doing is not an innocent behavior, it’s quite literally stalking and harassing him. this could devolve into something more dangerous, and it’s good that you did something about it.

JustheBean −  NTA that’s stalking. It doesn’t matter how sweet her intentions are, that’s what she’s doing. Her youth and femininity do not give her a pass. She was told to stop. She did not. Instead, she displayed a clear pattern of escalating behavior. There’s no reason to believe she won’t decide to take it further if she gets away with this. This is a life lesson she needs to learn. It doesn’t matter how harsh anyone else thinks it is. You don’t break into someone’s home and play victim when there are consequences.

Freakin_Merida88 −  NTA. If the genders were switched, this would be Lifetime’s Movie of the Week.

artorianscribe −  NTA. This is traumatizing as hell for your brother. He’s always going to be worried about the next GF doing something as creepy as this. He needs therapy to discuss this and realize this is NOT normal. Also, maybe consider a restraining order? What’s she’s doing is harassment and if it was gender-reversed your husband wouldn’t think you were overreacting one little bit. She also needs to get her s**t together. She’s a minor. This will be wiped clean when she turns 18. This is the wake up call she needs to back the f**k up.

ForwardPlenty −  NTA. I am thinking the next thing would be to find a rabbit in the stockpot on the stove. That would have really showed her love. When someone breaks up with you, that isn’t an invitation to stalk them and just not take no for an answer. If you let her get away scott free, then you are enabling her, and she will continue the behavior.

[Reddit User] −  She’s stalking him and you’re protecting him, as you should. NTA.

superwholockian62 −  NTA. That is stalker behavior. I would also consider a restraining/no contact order as well.

Do you think the user was wrong for pressing charges against her brother’s ex-girlfriend for trespassing, or was it necessary to protect her brother’s boundaries? How would you handle a similar situation involving privacy and unwanted attention? Share your thoughts below!