AITA for refusing to let my girlfriend get a dog because it will upset my old man of a cat?
A Redditor shared a dilemma involving their girlfriend’s wish to get a dog and their 14-year-old cat, Sparky, who is anxious and aggressive toward dogs. They’ve asked their girlfriend to wait until Sparky lives out his final years peacefully, sparking debate about whether this request is fair. Read the original story below to learn more about their situation.
‘ AITA for refusing to let my girlfriend get a dog because it will upset my old man of a cat?’
I (30F) have been with my girlfriend (31F) for three years now and we recently moved into a nice house in the country. As we are finally living somewhere with a decent size garden my girlfriend wants to get a dog. She has always wanted a dog, and I have said to her that we can get one one day, but not until my cat passes away.
My cat, Sparky, is 14 years old, is blind in one eye, and he hates dogs. I love this cat, he is my baby, as I would love any animal that my partner and I get together. But is it unreasonable to ask that he lives out his twilight years in peace, eating his favourite foods, curling up by the fire,
hogging the bed and watching tennis, without getting a new puppy in the mix? My girlfriend says that I am being unreasonable, that my cat and the new dog will be great friends, but I know Sparky, and he has always either been anxious or aggressive towards dogs.
My friends and family say that if I love my girlfriend I should let her get the dog. I do love her, and I am not against her getting a dog, I am just asking her to wait a little bit until my cat passes away.. So, am I the a**hole?
Take a look at the comments from fellow users:
yachtiewannabe − NTA. Let old man grumps live out his days dog free.
Heavy-Introduction-8 − NTA and I don’t think the question is even whether this cat deserves to override any new dog desires (and he does. Precious old grump cats, I have one too).
The critical matter is that you were clear from the get go that any future dogs in this relationship would have to be after Old Man Grump passes. If Girlfriend didn’t like this setup, she was free to remove herself from the situation. Agreeing and moving in together only to get pissy later is 110% a**hole behavior
mikey_weasel − NTA. Basic rule of pets – everyone who lives in the house gets veto power on any new pet being added to the house. In this case you get veto power. And you can argue that your cat gets veto-power as well. I think you are fine to stick to your guns here.
I think your girlfriend is being very lightly the a**hole for pushing this issue. She is fine to want the dog but not to keep pushing this if you have clearly explained your reasoning.
1210bull − NTA. I’ve also got an older man cat, and when me and my boyfriend move in together he wants to get a dog. However, we’ve agreed that we cannot have a dog while we still have my boy. It’s not fair to your cat to bring another animal into his house, especially a rambunctious puppy.
And it’s not fair to the hypothetical puppy, either, to bring it into a house with another animal that may be aggressive towards it. And to the people who are inevitably going to say “Its just a cat!” No, he’s OP’s baby. He deserves respect.
light_rail_coyote21 − NTA your cat isn’t going to magically love dogs at 14, and it could be really hard on your cat and also you-and potentially the dog you bring into this. This cat was part of the deal going in,
and while I love my dog and totally get why she wants one, waiting a few years won’t kill anyone. Also, does your girlfriend have experience with pets? What makes her so certain they’ll be great friends?
eThotExpress − NTA. My friends and family say that if I love my girlfriend I should let her get the dog. This could be used vice versa because “if your girlfriend loved you she’d let your cat live out the rest his days in peace” You’re not saying she can never get a dog, just now is not the right time for a puppy.
Thia-M − NTA. My dog is 16 and only likes humans. If my partner wanted to get a new animal…hard no. My responsibility is to my dog, not some hypothetical other cat or dog.
goldennotebook − NTA–elderly pets always have priority, plus y’all have discussed this before.
holdurfeet − NTA i think youre being pretty reasonable here tbh. if your cat just doesnt get along with dogs then that’s that.
likeahike − NTA, it’s wishful thinking that the cat will simply get along with the dog. And what if it turns out not to be the case, as you predict? Will she return the dog then? Of course not. It’s cruel to get a dog now. You know your cat, let him live out his life in peace.
Do you think the Redditor’s request to wait for Sparky’s final years to pass peacefully is fair, or should they compromise to fulfill their girlfriend’s dream of getting a dog? How would you balance the needs of a senior pet with a partner’s wishes? Share your thoughts below!
For those who want to read the sequel: https://aita.pics/upLZt