AITA for making all the women in my family leave after they all showed up to my wedding wearing white?

A man shared how he dealt with his family’s toxic “tradition” of testing new women who join the family by marriage. Despite warning his female relatives not to pull pranks or wear white to his wedding, they all showed up in white dresses, claiming it was a “test” for his bride.

He had each of them escorted out, including his mother and stepmother, causing a major family rift. While his father supported him, his female relatives accused him of overreacting and ruining the wedding. Now he wonders if he went too far.

‘ AITA for making all the women in my family leave after they all showed up to my wedding wearing white?’

I M33 have a large family. Mostly aunts and female cousins aside from mom, stepmom, stepsister and grandmother. I don’t know how to say this but all those women I mentioned above are into teasing and joking.

They’ve formed a unit (which I admit is kind of toxic) and they’d tease and roast every new woman that enters the family by marriage by setting up “tests” to see if they deserve to be part of the family. Or roast their looks and styles to the point of breaking confidence and self esteem down.

Then after a few months of teasing they’d announce that they’ve finally welcomed them into the family. The newest member would join in on the teasing too which is crazy as my dad says. When I first introduced my then girlfriend now wife.

I made it clear that I didn’t want any of the women in the unit to come at her or harass her not even with a single word. They went behind my back and roasted her looks and job and I discovered they’ve been doing it on Facebook. I had them apologize one by one after they gave the “we’re just testing the water to see if she’s capable to be part of the family” excuse”.

They didn’t want to apologize but once I said I wouldn’t invite any of the unit unless they apologize including my mom everyone immediately apologized and brought gifts for my wife. First of them was my stepmom and my SIL. My wedding was 2 weeks ago.

There was talk about the women in the family wanting to pull a prank on my wife by wearing white and called it the “ultimate test” to see how my wife react. My brother warned me so I announced that if anyone of them showed up in white I’d have them kicked out including mom.

They said this wasn’t true and they’d never do such thing. But they showed up to my wedding one by one wearing white dresses and each an every one of them was told to leave after they tried giving excuses by either making scenes or getting the men involved.

The senior women of the unit who are Mom and aunts also showed up in white but refused to leave. I threatened to take harsher action and mom was pissed telling me to step aside but I didn’t let her in. I had her leave while the men in the family were watching stunned, dad was on my side and supported me a lot.

I felt absolutely awful because my wedding was being interrupted by them making scenes. My wife was hurt beyond measure but the women in the family were pissed. my cousin blasted me on social media later saying I excluded all the women from the wedding because my wife was so insecure she couldn’t handle another woman’s presence at her wedding.

I had an argument with them and mom berated me saying it was supposed to be a prank but I said they were taking it too far. Mom said I took it too far by kicking them out because they were trying to get reaction from my wife to see if she was one of those “bridzillas” and were going to change soon as prank was over but I ruined my own and entire wedding by reacting so aggressively.

I stopped talking after she said I had to bring my wife and apologize. I haven’t seen the lot of them in 2 weeks and they’ve excluded me from everything.. WasITA for how I handled this?

These are the responses from Reddit users:

wannabyte −  NTA – your family is toxic and I am so sad for your wife that they would do that, but also so happy for her that she has a husband who will support her and have her back. Im sorry your family tried to hijack your wedding for a power play, but you did the right thing, and your marriage will be stronger because of it.

pennywhistlesmoonpie −  Ugh. NTA. First cardinal rule: Don’t wear white to a wedding unless you’re the bride. If you do, you’re TA.

personaperplexa −  NTA. The women of your family are bullies.

Excellent-Jello7894 −  NTA!!! Whaaaaat is going on with the women in your family, and how did you come out so normal and with such healthy boundaries??? If I had been your wife I would have gotten into a fist fight with your mother and aunts by now so I commend her class and patience.

Your mother is frankly being a terrible mother by treating your wife like this. What happens when you have a daughter? Is she going to get “tested” also? This behavior is so bizarre and immature. When (not if) your mother decides to contact you again, tell her she’s had her fun but it’s time to grow up and learn how to behave normally.

It’s a family, not a sorority, and if she wants to be allowed to see her future grandkids she needs to smarten up. SHe’s missing out on having your wonderful wife as a daughter and friend, and she will miss out on more if she continues to be toxic. I think you’re completely justified in everything you did.

Edit: Thanks guys! I’ve never gotten an award before.

maggienetism −  NTA. So they’re bullies, and if your wife puts up with the bullying her reward will be having to bully any other women to join the family? That’s uncool, and it’s perfectly reasonable to stick to your guns.

[Reddit User] −  NTA. WTH is wrong with these women? You do NOT prank someone at their wedding. This was not a joke. “my cousin blasted me on SC media saying I excluded all the women from the wedding because my wife was so insecure she couldn’t handle another woman’s presence at her wedding.” How stupid IS your cousin?

Obviously, very. Every woman shows up in white at her wedding? That is called disrespectful. It has nothing to do with your wife being insecure. This gang is simply bullying people. I would go NC. They simply have no boundaries.

basicallyabasic −  NTA. That is a very toxic family unit. Their “prank” would have cause a scene and been hurtful and distracting. You did the right thing each time you’ve stood up for your wife.

thundaga0 −  NTA. And good on you. You’re better than me cause the moment anyone of them tried blasting me on social media, I would’ve just screenshoted and exposed all their conversations.

Positive_Mango_2783 −  NTA – they sound like they like to bully. You don’t need them to invite you to anything. They pulled that dress prank just to upset your wife. They knew she would NOT think it was funny. Meh they’re toxic. Leave them be where they are.

SourNotesRockHardAbs −  INFO Do you actually want any of these people in your life? They are all incredibly toxic.