AITA for saying no when my family said I should let my sister have her honeymoon at my house ?

A man recounted a family conflict where his sister assumed she could use his home for her honeymoon without his prior consent. The house, originally a family vacation home, was sold to him years ago to finance her college education.

When he refused to let the newlyweds stay there, citing discomfort and lack of consultation, his sister became upset, uninvited him from her wedding, and their parents labeled him selfish for not supporting her. Now, he questions whether he’s in the wrong for standing firm.

‘ AITA for saying no when my family said I should let my sister have her honeymoon at my house?’

Backstory. My house used to belong to my parents. But they sold it to me in 2017. It had been a family vacation home of sorts. Every couple years when my grandparents were alive they’d invite us kids up there for a week. Fast forward to the end of 2016. My sister got accepted to her dream college.

Wont say which but it’s a big one. Everyone was excited and proud of her, me too. But a week after that my parents called asking if I’d found a house yet. I was looking for one and my family knew it. I’d been saving up since I started my first job at 20. I said no so my dad suggested I buy the lake house from them.

I asked why they wanted to sell it. Turns out sis didn’t have any savings for college and didn’t get some scholarship like she’d planned? And our parents couldn’t afford to pay for everything either. I asked why she didn’t get student loans and they said they didn’t want her ruining her credit.

So their solution was to sell the lake house and use the money from that to finance her college. I had lots of good memories from the lake house so eventually I agreed. I work via computer so after getting a good internet connection out there I moved right in, and been there since.

My gf moved in permanently last year before lockdown and it’s been pretty blissful. 2019 my sister & her college bf got engaged. Parents agreed to pay for her wedding. But like with every other wedding around then things got set back. Sis had to postpone her wedding until this year. She plans to have it in Dec.

I even agreed to be in the bridal party. Issues came up recently when my sis asked where I was going to stay for the 2 weeks after her wedding? Puzzled I answered my house? She got a sour look and said that wouldn’t work, her and fiance would be there and they wanted private time.

I asked why they’d be at my house and she said that’s where they were having their honeymoon. Two weeks alone at a lake house. I said that was news to me. She insisted our parents said it was fine. But I said it wasn’t their place to make decisions about my house.

After arguing she called our parents who said I was being unreasonable. I said I didn’t want my sister and her fiance christening their new union by f**king in my house. They said I was being gross and selfish. I said no again so sis threatened to remove me from the bridal party. I just shrugged and said okay.

She starts crying, saying she already couldn’t have her dream wedding like she wanted and now I was trying to ruin her honeymoon too. I told her to rent a hotel room like every other newlywed couple then hung up. She’s not speaking to me and I’m uninvited to the wedding.

Our parents keep calling me and saying I should do this for her since her wedding is only 1/3 what she wanted it to be. But I’m not comfortable with them staying unsupervised at my house. They’re making me feel like a monster for saying no. AITA?

Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

soulpeace2 −  Idk if it’s just me but the favoritism is shining brighter than the sun. NTA your sister is crazy for expecting that before even conforming with you lol

[Reddit User] −  NTA They don’t have money to cover for her education to the point of selling a house, but they do for her wedding? She doesn’t get to guilt you for already not having her dream wedding because she chose to get married at a time in which she still depends on her parents.

What she needs is a reality check not a wedding and till your parents stop treating her like their *little princess* she’s gonna be a lost cause, which you don’t have to take any responsibility for.

wingding456 −  NTA. Does your sister actually know that you bought the house from your parents so they could fund her college? This is so weird I wonder if she thinks they are just letting you live there and they have been too embarrassed to tell her

rich-tma −  It’s weird that your parents would help your sister plan a honeymoon to your house without asking you. Has their been an apology for that, along with berating you? NTA

[Reddit User] −  NTA, and gross tbh. It’s your house, not a hotel, and no one can force you to do this. Also, they would probably use the master bedroom for their….. activities. No.

baobab77 −  NTA. Your parents are enabling her way too much. If you haven’t changed the locks since moving in, do it ASAP.

chrissie7324 −  NTA at all – it’s your house. Edit – give your sister the invoice for the 2 week holiday she’s paying for you and your gf as they are using your house and expecting you to leave. Make sure it includes plane tickets and the honey moon suite at a 5 star hotel.

highwoodshady −  LOL Sorry, it’s late your post cracked me up. NTA I can not imagine the conflated, circular thinking your family engages in that makes your family think the home they urged to buy and work from home was their honeymoon cottage and vacation destination.

What are you supposed to do when everyone treats your home like a vacation cottage? Do they expect you to live and work in your car in a random parking lot while they enjoy the views and do the n**ty?

B0r0B1rd −  Absolutely NTA. Personally I would do a group message and say “Hi everyone. I just wanted to clear the air and ask a quick question. If you had sold the house to anyone other than me, would you expect the owners to let sis use it for her honeymoon?

If I had purchased a different house, would you have expected me to move out so sis could use it to honeymoon? When I bought the house so you guys could fund sis going to college, I fully expected you all to realise that this is not a family house any more, it is my home that I live in permanently.

Whilst I would never stop you from coming to visit my home, you all need to realise that this is my home that I bought off you”.

Neither_March4000 −  NTA What a selfish entitled b**t and who the f\*ck do your parents think they are just handing over your property like that without even asking.
I think you did 100% the right thing, I wouldn’t move out of my home either so some self absorbed AH could spend the next two weeks f\*cking all over my furniture,

especially one that didn’t have a basic courtesy to ask me. If her wedding isn’t what she wants it to be maybe she just put it off until she can afford the wedding she does want, her wedding/honeymoon is not your problem. What is it with these people who make choices but assume the consequences of those choices are other people’s problem?

Sounds like having no contact with the spoilt sis is a blessing, who needs that type of person in their lives, and your parents are being blatantly partisan. You’re not being a monster but your sis is being a petulant spoilt little princess and your parents are enabling her. …and what about the boyfriend and his family, where’s their contribution, let them rent a house for a couple of weeks.