AITA for telling my parents they made my sister getting pregnant ruin my life?

A Redditor (18F) learns that the college fund her late grandmother left for her was entirely spent on her older sister (23F), who became pregnant at 15 and faced financial hardships. The discovery comes as a shock, especially since the money was meant to ensure all the grandchildren could attend college if they followed specific rules—including not getting pregnant.

When the Redditor confronts her parents, tensions explode, leading to a heated family argument and her temporarily leaving home. Was she too harsh in expressing her anger, or are her feelings justified? Read the full story below…

‘ AITA for telling my parents they made my sister getting pregnant ruin my life?’

shes 23f im 18F. Grandma died 8 years ago, and she left more than enough money to pay for all her grandkid’s colleges educations with a few stipulations: dont get arrested, do drugs, be a drunk, get pregnant / get someone else pregnant. The money was put into accounts in the parents names since we were all kids then.

In sophomore year my sister got pregnant. S**t hit the fan panicking about college, the baby daddy left & she hasnt tried to find him/get child support, & the stress from that caused a hard complicated pregnancy. both are ok. Mom * dad still let her go to college as long as she didnt have another and maintained a 3.5 gpa. which she did.

She graduated last December with about 2 grand in debt, I figured her money must have been used to help raise her kid and pay for her pregnancy the past 2.5 years so she had to get a bit of a loan. which seemed understandable.

Boy I was wrong! I got accepted to my dream college on the other side of the state, but mom kept trying to get me to go to a cheaper one near home so I dont need a dorm and it would be a cheaper school. I asked her why she was so insistent, grandma left plenty of money i thought.

Turns out, they flushed all the money that was supposed to go to me down the toilet to take care of my sister & her kid & her expensive pregnancy, turns out was a lot worse than I was led to believe. I broke down and just lost it crying harder than I ever have. Shouting how they fucked me over and ruined my life for the kid that fucked up.

now I’ll have at least 70k debt if I go to school. I guess this upset my sister and she asked in a very upset tone if id rather her be out on the streets destitute and unable to care for her kid(who she ‘reminded’ me was a living being) because she didnt have an education/support system just so I could go on to college and have a good life.

I said yes, how its not fair that she got to f**k up, get drunk and sleep with so many guys she doesnt know who the baby daddy is(something she told me but apparently not mom or dad), kept breaking rule after rule while I havent ever even had s** with my bf. And now Im the one that has to be punished for it.

everything just keep devolving in to more yelling/fighting until I left. Ive been staying with my bf for the past few days. I know with the rona i shouldnt gp anywhere but i just wanted to be with the one person i feel like actually gives a damn about me.

moms been texting/calling trying to get me to come home, saying if i can just be reasonable and not vilify my sister we can probably work something out. I told her unless she has money grandma left for me dont talk to me until I have my college loans paid off in 50 years.

Did I go too far? A lot of it was driven by emotion but i really feel fucked over here and like im being punished despite being the one that followed the rules. I’ve since slept with my bf, i figure if Im getting punished same as if i would have broken all the rules i can at least have fun..

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

Current-Read −  NTA, i believe there is a legal advice subreddit? Go there because if your grandmother left instructions for the money that was ignored by those holding it. You can sue regardless of it being in your parents name.

teresajs −  NTA. You may be able to sue your parents to get that money back. If Grandma’s will was that specific about what the money could be used for, then your parents misappropriated your funds. Your parents need to come up with that money. Also, make sure you’re using birth control.

AngryGlutton −  NTA. You have every right to be upset. If that was a stipulation of your grandmother’s money, then your sister definitely should not have gotten the ride that she did.. Your parents should have done something out of their own money if they wanted to, but they should not have put your education and livelihood in the mix.

if you have any proof or anything that that is exactly what your grandmother wanted you to do, and those are the stipulations on getting said money, then I can get that proof and I start figuring out if you’re going to take legal action. I wouldn’t have any idea where to start, but your parents most definitely screwed you over and are definitely assholes.

anormalfloridian −  NTA. That was meant for you, not your sister. She really did ruin your life and your future.

sdkjfoeijoenl −  NTA – Threaten to sue them for the money. That sounds like fraud. Your parents and sister should pay you back without it going to court and you should let them settle. But if they don’t your parents should cough up. They didn’t even discuss it with you. It is a terrible thing to steal from your own child and that is what they did. You aren’t being over-dramatic.

On the plus side. You now know that you can’t trust your parents with finances but you should talk to them about making practical arrangements to pay you back. Also document this for your other siblings. Do they have any funds left?

Silver6Rules −  F**k anyone who says the sister is not the a**hole. She knew as well as you did that your parents were not well off, therefore the money had to come from SOMEWHERE….and I see you said in a previous comment that they told her not to tell you. SHE KNEW.

That means they ALL intentionally screwed you, and people have the audacity to question your response?? Your sister as well as your parents made their choice. Now you get to make yours. Get your gotdamn money back. NTA. P.S.: send yourself and this post IMMEDIATELY to r/legaladvice if you haven’t already. I anxiously await any future update. Good Luck.

ajax_9000 −  NTA: There are paths you could take to get the money back if you want. The first- After discussing this with my brother who is a lawyer, he said you could sue your parents for the money depending on what was said in your grandmas will regarding the use of the money. He does not advise this but it is a choice.

Another choice is get parent plus loans for college. The loans will be in your parents name/social so it is there liability. This is obviously something to be discussed with your parents but it could be a decent solution given they used your education fund. I would recommend you could pay back a small amount of the loan and they pay back most of it.

politicalinsensitive −  NTA. They stole from you and lied, they didn’t even try to build the college fund back up. They should’ve made your sister get a job and suffer the consequences of her actions like a real adult instead of bailing her out with the money your grandmother left you.

She should’ve been the one to go to a school cheaper and close to home, not you. Honestly I would ask them to take out private loans in their names so the debt isn’t directly linked to you and have them pay for your college.

jmc259 −  NTA. OP, I saw on the comments that you were going to take the legal side and try to get your money back. I 100% support that, as it was what I was going to say.. Please, keep us updated.

GrowingApathetic1 −  NTA. S**ew the people calling you the A**hole for getting mad. If getting 80,000 stolen from you, for somebody else’s f**k up no less, isn’t a real reason to get angry than nothing is!

Did the parents make an unfair choice, or was the Redditor wrong for reacting so strongly? How can families navigate such difficult situations while maintaining fairness? Share your thoughts below!