AITA for using my moms religion against her after insulting my sons hair?

A mother (32F) shared a heated encounter with her Mormon mother, who criticized her 3-year-old son’s long hair, citing traditional gender norms. When the grandmother expressed her disdain, the mother clapped back by referencing Jesus Christ’s own long hair, using her mom’s religion against her.

While the comment silenced further criticism, it left the mother feeling conflicted about whether her sharp remark was too harsh. To find out more about the situation and how others reacted, read the full story below…

‘ AITA for using my moms religion against her after insulting my sons hair?’

I (32F) was raised Mormon but I’m not now, nor do I follow any other religion. My mom is still very much in the cult. As such, she has the typical Mormon mindset regarding gender roles and all that b**lshit. Granted, I still think she’d be this way without her religion, though maybe not as bad.

We get along splendidly, except when the topic of her religion comes up, which doesn’t often. She’s visiting right now. I don’t see her in person much but she came down for my birthday. It’s also important to note that I have two sons. My 5 year old has a Mohawk. My 3 year old has shaggy, shoulder length hair.

He’s never had a haircut for a multitude of reasons, none of which would even be asked if he were a girl. Not long after she got here, she started going in on his hair. This is not the first time she’s given her opinion on it. Why don’t I cut it? Don’t I want to prevent him from being bullied? Or from people thinking he’s a… GIRL???

Because he hasn’t asked and I want it to be his choice. Because he acts like I’m murdering him when I brush his teeth and hair. Because he also flails around like he’s having an exorcism so imagine that with a pair of scissors. Because if someone sees long hair and assumes “girl,” that’s on them and a simple “he’s a boy” corrects it.

But mostly it’s because I don’t f**king want to. She got pissed and said what she really thought, which was: “Well I just don’t like long hair on boys.” Clearly. Yet she has no problem with my other sons MOHAWK. Guess that’s boyish enough for her. AND she said it in front of both my sons, which pissed ME off.

I said the first thing which came to my head, which was: “If you have a problem with long hair on boys, I suggest you take it up with your lord and savior Jesus Christ. You can start by asking him to get a haircut. Call John the Barber.” Bruh. If looks could kill, I’d be in outer darkness right now.

She steeped in her anger for a while but didn’t say anything else. She hasn’t changed her opinion nor will she, but I don’t think she wants to get roasted again either so she won’t bring it up anymore. I feel like we’re both assholes. As much as I hate her religion, that was also a low blow and I have a tendency to speak first, regret later.

Though I don’t necessarily regret my words, I do regret how they made her feel. She is my mom after all.

Here’s what people had to say to OP:

loloannd −  Lmaooooo!. NTA. As a former Mormon, I am *cackling*. “Call John the Barber.” Hilarious.

ursulawinchester −  NTA – a good, well-timed diss is all. You didn’t insult her religion or her belief in it, so far as I can tell she’s being a little sensitive and that’s fine too.

abundantmonkeys −  Ask her about Sampson. Her head is really going to explode.. NTA

virobacter −  NTA and daaaaamn that roast! I feel ALIVE again.

rose_glass −  NTA mainly because I’m dying laughing at this:. Call John the Barber.

thefore −  NTA, I dont think this is anything to do with religion though. This is just her personal preference. Technically you are right, if she prays long enough, at some point I have no doubt he will have a hair cut, it might be years but she can still consider it a victory, as her prayer will have been answered, just not in the timeframe or way shes hoping for.

culculain −  ” Because he acts like I’m murdering him when I brush his teeth and hair. “. ​ This is why you don’t let 3 year olds make decisions

DMugre −  NTA. Bruh. If looks could kill, I’d be in outer darkness right now. Ah yes, the compelling sight of a h**ocrite after being called out.

just-peepin-at-u −  NTA as a teen girl, my grandmother was constantly on me to cut my hair. I mean damned near every time I saw her. My mom never told her to knock it off, and my aunts went along with her. Hair is a sensitive topic for kids, and children are not communal property.

You are ok with long hair, your son is ok with it, mommy needs to learn she is not a parent, and she doesn’t get a vote. I think with kids, too many people feel entitled. It needs to be parents/guardians and kids making these calls, not the entire family. She had her chance to raise her kids, she needs to p**s off and let you have yours.

DrFrankenfurtersCat −  NTA – your mom should have kept her closed minded opinions to herself, and you have nothing to feel guilty for. If she feels bad, perhaps she should have dropped the conversation. You are a grown woman with children, and if she can’t respect that, then she might want to rethink another visit.

Also, just because she’s your mother, does not mean you have to allow her to talk to you or your children like that – family does not automatically get a free pass. Your comeback was PERFECT, and I’m glad you were able to stand up for you and your children. ❤️