AITA for serving my sister’s husband dinner using toy utensils?

A Reddit user (17) shares a story about a tense family situation after moving in with their sister and her husband. The user’s sister does all the household work, while her husband, claiming to be the breadwinner, does nothing. One evening, when the husband complained about dinner being ready but not served, the Reddit user decided to use toy utensils to serve him as a form of protest. This led to a heated argument, with the husband demanding an apology for being disrespected.

‘ AITA for serving my sister’s husband dinner using toy utensils?’

I, m17, moved in with you sister after my parents kicked me out for coming out (another story) they said I’ll be here temporarily til I get back to “normal” which I don’t think I will, lol. But uh…anyways, so I moved in with my sister and her husband about a month ago.

FYI she does everything around the house (I started helping here and there) as well as looking after a 2 year old niece and now she’s 6 months pregnant. BIL does nothing because he’s the breadwinner as he claims but imo he’s taken it a bit too far. e.g he’d tell her to start his laundry once he takes off his clothes, put dinner on the table once he’s home, get the shower ready and so on.

They fight a lot cause my sister is exhausted and burnt out, I usually put my headphones on and mind my own business but 2 nights ago there was a lot of commotion once heart home so I went to see what the issue was. Turns BIL was complaining about dinner and my sister was too exhausted to get up. I mean the dinner was already cooked but he wanted her to put it for him on the table.

I told my sister I’d do it, but instead of using their kitchen utensils, I used my niece’s toy utensils like toy cup, toy plate, toy fork and knife and a tiny napkin. I put the food on the toy plate and the drink in the toy cup while BIL was in the shower. He then came into the kitchen and sat down and stared at the plate for few seconds. He then looked at me and asked what the he’ll this was, and whether I was joking.

I told him if he wanted to act like a helpless child, then he might as well get treated like one. He began yelling and my sister came inside. He then threw the napkin and stormed off upon saying that I’d disrespected him and that he’ll let my parents know about what I did. My sister saw what I’d done and started laughing.

I went inside my room but the argument didn’t stop, now he’s expecting an apology for me for meddling in his marriage and pulling this crappy stunt on him. I could be TA for this but I was just so mad for my sister and also sick and tired of being sick and tired of the nightly fighting over dinner.

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

Total-Being-4278 −  Ok, so this is funny as hell and he TOTALLY had it coming, but we all know you should have stayed waaaayyyy out of this. LOL tho. I get that you were trying to stick up for your sister, who deserves that. Please accept my softest ESH. You might have actually made them fight more. Abusive people like your BIL often take these things out on people like your sister.

NUT-me-SHELL −  NTA. This guy sounds like a super misogynistic a**hole. Good for you standing up for your sister.

halfbakedcaterpillar −  NTA, but honestly OP, in this situation, it might be better to keep your head low and stop antagonizing him. It sounds like you’re surrounded by a really bad situation, but antagonizing an abusive individual is going to affect your sister more than it affects you. He will take it out on her. She is the one who is struggling. You are a guest in their home. If she needs help, you help her. Ignore him at best. You don’t have to be a peacekeeper, but don’t do the opposite.

LollipopThrowAway- −  Although i commend you for what you did lmao, ESH because most likely the repercussions will fall mostly onto your sister. Edit: put esh.

slipperysword −  NTA. the husband sounds like he needs a nap too.

[Reddit User] −  NTA. I think I adore you. You weren’t meddling in a marriage. You were meddling and trying to get the master to treat his slave better. Who starts someone else’s shower for them? I don’t know what country you’re in, but if in the US maybe the husband actually believes the myth that back before middle class women started working out of the home a lot, that the women were the men’s servants. I’m sure there were a few a**hole husbands around who thought that, but it wasn’t like that. It was a partnership and each spouse had their job.

My parents were born in the 20s. My Mom was a SAHM the whole time. My Dad would NEVER have treated my Mom like that. He would make dinner on Sundays to give her a break (well, I say “dinner” looselys as it was usually grilled cheese, pancakes, or frozen pizza, but we loved it).

My Mom always dusted and vacuumed on Saturdays and about one every month or so my Dad would tell her to go do her crossword and he did the cleaning. He also fixed every single goddam thing in the house and did all of the yard work except my Mom planted a little flower garden. He drove us around.

This husband makes me really angry. And I’m really scared that young people these days actually look back and think that traditionally women were servants. (Actually traditionally humans lived in egalitarian societies. Looking back to the last century in “Western” countries, we’re just looking at a tiny snapshot in time in just a few regions of the world.)

IrresistibleInsomnia −  I mean… Hilarious response I strongly approve, however unfortunately its not accomplished a thing and more likely than not your sister will suffer for it. Dude does Not sound like a good husband, father, or bil and she should probably end the relationship, but its not up to us as outsiders to dictate that. ESH ish but I’m only judging your BIL XD.

ItsNotAna −  petty? maybe.. funny? absolutely. deserved? yup. are you the A H ? no. NTA. Putting yourself in a volatile situation here? yes. What happens if BIL kicks you out? Where will you go? This man seems angry. I wouldn’t poke the bear.

AceofSpadesYT −  ESH. But what you did was hilarious and he had it coming.

Effective-Slice-4819 −  When angry, controlling men are challenged they take it out on the women around them. Calling him a child is funny in the moment, but it doesn’t solve anything and could possibly lead to retaliation. Your sister sounds like she’s in a dangerous position, and what you did could put her more at risk. For that reason I say YTA.