AITA for making my SIL feel like s**t about her weight?

A Reddit user (35F) received a thoughtful birthday gift from her son: a hammock chair he had saved up for, costing him a considerable amount. The user cherished it deeply as something special just for herself. However, her 46-year-old sister-in-law (SIL) sat in the swing despite being told it had a weight limit.

The swing broke, and the SIL laughed it off, refusing to apologize or offer compensation. When the user expressed frustration over her prized gift being ruined, she was criticized by her SIL and husband. Now, the user is wondering if she was wrong for getting upset and calling out her SIL’s weight in the heat of the moment. Read the original post to see the full story.

‘ AITA for making my SIL feel like s**t about her weight?’

35F and my SIL is 46F. I have 3 children, the oldest being 16M. For my birthday last week my son went out and bought me this swinging hammock chair that I had been wanting for 2 years and it cost him quite a bit of his saved money (which I fully intend to put back in to his bank account so he can continue saving).

He was so excited to see me open this gift and couldnt wait to help me set it up. I told him he shouldnt have, that it was a lot of money and his response was “You never get anything nice. I wanted you to have it.” And it was true. I usually dont get anything for my birthday or Christmases outside of Tupperware or soaps.

So it might sound stupid but I have cherished this swing ever since he got it for me, especially where I finally have something nice that’s mine. My SIL comes over once a week to see all of us and she immediately headed straight for my swing (which my son hooked up on our deck).

I told her to please not sit on it and she said “Is there a weight limit?” So I told her yes, 250lbs and I even showed her the box to confirm. She was not upset about this. She just said “That’s a bummer, they need to make something capable of holding us big girls”. I simply agreed with her and went about my business. At this point my husband shows up from work.

When I went inside to grab us some drinks her and my husband are talking on the porch and not even 5 minutes later I hear a loud crash and my husband say “F**k, are you alright?” I go out and sure enough she had sat in my swing and the crochet netting around the hook snapped on one side, causing her to fall right on her ass.

She is sitting there laughing, gets up and says “I guess i need to learn to listen.” So I lost it. As I said above, I literally never get anything nice. Never. This is the one thing that I had that was mine and it didnt even take someone a freaking week before they ruined it for me.

So I said “I literally just f**king told you not even 20 minutes ago that it would not hold you and to please not f**king sit in it.” She makes some comment about “Usually the weight limit is a lie. I thought it would hold.” So I said “The weight limit probably would have held if you were only 50lbs heavier than it, not 150.”

(She is 420ish lbs because she is one of those girls who eat food on camera for money and she absolutely loves her weight). But regardless, instead of apologizing or offering to compensate me for my destroyed item, she has resorted to saying I’m a s**t bag for making her feel like her weight is a problem and my husband is on her side. “Its just a f**king swing”. AITA?

Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

Apprehensive-You2885 −  NTA tell your husband that he can buy you a new one because if it’s “just a f**king swing”

ceeceetop −  NTA. Your SIL needs to compensate you for it. As well as apologize. She is heavy. She knows it. She deliberately sat in your swing even though she knew the weight limit was lower than her weight. As far as I’m concerned, she has pretty much broken it intentionally.

Also, any decent person gets embarrassed when they break something that doesn’t belong to them, no matter how it happens. Especially if the owner gets upset about it. Instead she is playing the “you fat-shamed me” card to get out of the situation.

yourlittlebirdie −  NTA. She destroyed something special of yours and didn’t even apologize. I’m sure she’s very embarrassed but she *knew* the consequences of her actions and did it anyway.. Your husband sucks too.

AggravatingResult549 −  Nta but what kind of marriage do you have where you comment multiple times you have nothing that’s yours and never get gifts aside from soap and tupperware? That honestly sounds terrible

Prestigious_Isopod72 −  NTA. You weren’t fat shaming her. She literally ignored and dismissed your warning about the weight limit on your cherished birthday present, and now SHE is 100% responsible for destroying it but refusing to take responsibility. You were simply holding her accountable for what she did, and you are absolutely entitled to be angry. She is the AH for this and your husband is an AH as well, for not supporting you.

Helgrind8 −  NTA. The swing could hold 250 lbs. She weighs 420. In this case, her weight *was* the problem. She knowingly demolished your property. She owes you a new swing, especially as it had sentimental value for you.

billlevansatmariposa −  NTA. “Dear hubby, pay for the replacement and we can all laugh together. Don’t want to pay for the replacement for something you think is no big deal? Then stand back and watch the fireworks.”

quiet-as-thunder −  NTA. Her weight isn’t the problem, it’s her inability to listen and be respectful of other people and their things. Also what the hell is your husband doing? Your son noticed you don’t have nice things, but has your husband? Why is he okay with his sister breaking your gifts?

EnergyThat1518 −  NTA. Many things for like construction and stuff will usually be able to hold DOUBLE what is stated for safety reasons to guarantee it will hold the limit marked on it without strain e.g. if it says 5kg, it might be able to lift 10kg at a strain, but this makes it a guarantee that it can lift 5kg consistently without breaking or strain.

Your swing likely did have SOME ability to hold over 250lbs for safety reasons, but it is not a crane, no way was it going to be able to hold 170lbs over the stated limit. Not fond of your husband here much either, it doesn’t much seem like he values you or your possessions very much if you literally never get anything nice even though you have a husband and three kids??? Your eldest son should not in fact, be the only one that thinks you deserve nice things.

[Reddit User] −  NTA, and tell your husband if he’s not going to hold her accountable for paying to replace it, *he* needs to find a way to cover the cost without that putting a crimp in any of *your* plans. She destroyed someone else’s brand-new possession. That *alone* should have her embarrassed and wanting to make amends.

The fact she *went out of her way* to check whether there might be an issue with her using it, was told there might be, and did it anyway? I don’t know *where* she gets off thinking you’re not allowed to point out she’s being delusional in her refusal to take any responsibility whatsoever.

Do you think the Redditor was justified in her reaction, or did she go too far by pointing out her SIL’s weight in frustration? Should the SIL have taken more responsibility for breaking the swing, or was the weight-related comment unnecessary? Share your thoughts on how this situation could have been handled differently.