AITA for calling my body-positive co-worker “unhealthy, deluded, and bitter” after some rude comments she made about me?

A Reddit user is facing tension with a co-worker, Anna, who promotes body positivity but often makes rude comments about the user’s body type, such as suggesting they need to eat more and criticizing their appearance.

After Anna made a comment about the user’s interactions with a guy they liked, the user finally snapped, calling Anna “unhealthy, deluded, and bitter” for her behavior. While the user feels justified in calling out the hypocrisy, a friend advised they were too harsh and should apologize. Now, the user is questioning if they were too insensitive in their response. Read the full story for more context.

‘ AITA for calling my body-positive co-worker “unhealthy, deluded, and bitter” after some rude comments she made about me?’

I’m currently working part-time at a restaurant on my university’s campus. I mostly work shifts with this one girl, we’ll call her ‘Anna’, who is all for the body-positivity movement. She embraces her body type and regularly posts inspiring quotes or images on her social media accounts.

Personally, I have nothing against this at all. I am also in full support of treating and accepting everyone no matter their body type. However, I do believe that everyone should be healthy (eating right, exercising, taking care of their mental health, etc) or at least attempting to be. I don’t support those who use the body positivity movement to as a cloak to shield and justify their unhealthy and damaging behaviors.

However, despite being a “supporter,” Anna regularly comments on my body type. For example, I always bring food for my shifts since I personally think the food there is not the healthiest (burgers, fries, more fried food, etc.).

Anna will often say things like, “You should eat a burger, you could use a few extra pounds honey!” or “You look skinnier than last week. I told you to stop eating salads everyday haha.” She’ll sometimes even feign concern for me and ask me in private if I was “struggling with my weight” and then proceed to tell me that I look “way too skinny to be healthy.”

One time I was changing into my work shirt in the back and Anna saw my stomach and commented that my stomach was starting to “look like a man’s.” I have no idea what that even means but I doubt it was a compliment.

These hypocritical comments have pissed me off. I enjoy eating healthy and cooking my own meals and I enjoy working out and staying toned. Anna on the other hand gorges herself on the food in our restaurant, drinks about three cans of coke per shift and does not work out. I don’t think this is healthy.

Finally, during yesterday’s shift, this guy I kinda like came in to get some food and I was super excited to see him. He turned out to be a bit cold towards me and the whole event was a bit anti-climactic. Oh well. Anna witnessed the whole thing and after he left, she said, “Maybe he’s into curvier girls.”

I basically blew up at her and called her out for all of her hypocrisy. I asked how she could call herself a supporter of body positivity when she regularly shamed my body. Then I told her that she was unhealthy in many ways (I called her out on her eating habits), bitter and jealous of others who are in control of their health and bodies, and deluded for believing that she is healthy and fit.

She called me insecure and told me I was being a rude b**ch. It was reaching the end of our shift so I clocked out early and left so I didn’t have to argue with her more. I was mad for a bit and told one of my best friends. She said that I was right and all but that I was insensitive in the way I brought it up and suggested that I apologize. I’m standing my ground but want to hear other opinions as well.

Here’s what people had to say to OP:

[Reddit User] −  NTA For someone who’s supposed to be body-positive, she’s real selective about what bodies get to have positivity. If she didn’t want s**t thrown back at her about her body, maybe she shouldn’t have badgered you about yours.

RobotName0 −  NTA, I was expecting this to be an everyone sucks situation, but she really crossed the line many many times before you said anything. She deserves it.

3Fluffies −  Very close, but NTA. She pushed and pushed and pushed until you snapped. While your comments were harsh, I think she did enough to deserve them.

KaraAuden −  I’m going to go with a soft ESH — but her way more than you. She was being consistently mean for a long time, and I understand why you just got to a tipping point. And the comment when the boy left was way out of line and just plain mean.

Calling her out on her hypocrisy was fair. Calling her out on her eating habits, workouts (or lack thereof) and body was not. She was mean to you, and you got fed up and were mean back. Even if I get why, and she was way worse, you still weren’t nice.

PoopinMyPantsJr −  NTA. Weight is one of those things you leave alone. People are *well aware* of their weight. It’s completely rude and inappropriate to bring it up. And if she’s gonna dish it out she needs to learn to also s**k it up when it comes her way. Also commenting on your face plant trying fir that guy? Super tacky and rude.

I’ve argued with my Mom about this for years, she keeps bringing up my sisters weight and I keep telling her to mind her own business. She likes to try and frame it as being concerned, but I’ve told her multiple times it’s not her body, it’s none of her business and to only talk about it when my sister brings it up. And yet my Mom still starts fights about it.

TLDR – No one besides a certified doctor is entitled to comment on someone’s weight.

yourgrandmasgrandma −  ESH. Obviously her behavior toward you has been repeatedly inappropriate. But you waited and waited and then finally blew up at her. You should have been honest with her a long time ago and nipped this situation in the bud by simply saying, “I’m not comfortable with you remarking on how my body looks. Don’t do it any more.”

GlobeSitter −  Why do I feel like I read this scenario before? Maybe it’s just me but there are a lot of these “overweight person said something mean so I called them fat” posts out there.

JenningsWigService −  ESH. She’s out of line for her comments, but you lost the high ground when you shamed her for her eating habits etc. “I do believe that everyone should be healthy (eating right, exercising, taking care of their mental health, etc) or at least attempting to be.

I don’t support those who use the body positivity movement to as a cloak to shield and justify their unhealthy and damaging behaviors.” Other people’s lifestyles are NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS. This kind of attitude does nothing to steer anyone toward a healthy lifestyle, it just makes those who fail to live up to your standards feel worse.

bluehorserunning −  NTA. ‘Body positivity’ =\= ‘real women have curves.’ Real women come in many different types. A little bit TA for shaming her back, but people say cruel s**t when they’re arguing like that.

sharkpuberty −  NTA, I’m all for body positivity and I understand skinny people have it “easier” than others, but I’m also tired of people thinking they can insult the hell out of me until it’s borderline abusive, but it’s okay because I’m thin. F**k that. You’re justified.

Have you ever dealt with a co-worker or friend making judgmental comments about your lifestyle or body? How did you handle the situation? Do you think this Redditor was right to call out their co-worker, or did they go too far? Share your thoughts and experiences below!