AITA for not punishing my 7 yo daughter for her play-relationships?

A Reddit user shares a humorous yet thought-provoking dilemma involving their 7-year-old daughter, Layla, who innocently holds hands with multiple classmates in what she calls “play-relationships.” When Layla’s “boyfriend” Lucas gets upset, her husband insists this is a matter of teaching faithfulness, while the user believes it’s just harmless childhood fun.

‘ AITA for not punishing my 7 yo daughter for her play-relationships?’

My husband and I have a 7 year old daughter together, Layla. A few months ago, Layla got a “boyfriend”, Lucas. They are both 7, so it’s obviously not a real relationship. They just hold hands sometimes and they drew each other hearts for valentines day.

This week, Layla was apparently holding hands with another boy – who also sent Layla a valentine’s day love letter – and Lucas took offence to it. We found out because Lucas’ parents called to tell us Lucas won’t be coming over to us this Saturday like it was originally planned, because he is mad at Layla.

My husband wants us to punish Layla and wants me to have a talk with her about faithfulness. At first I thought he was joking, but no, he was serious. He says that Layla cheated on Lucas and I, as her mother, should do something about it.
I told my husband that Layla is 7, not a cheater and I won’t treat her as such. He then accused me of “raising a cheater” and encouraging the bad behaviour. AITA for not wanting to punish Layla?.

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

Gr4nd45 −  She’s 7. It’s ridiculous to call her a “cheater”. At the same time, you can sit her down and explain why Lucas is upset and doesn’t want to see her. That’s more than enough of a lesson.. NTA.

QueenOfTheSnarkness −  I guess, according to your husband, I’m technically a bigamist since I married a kid in the third grade during recess and then married someone else 12 years later without properly divorcing my first husband. Also means every other relationship I had after that first wedding means I was cheating. What a monster I am.

NTA although you should talk to your daughter about hurting Lucas’s feelings. Edit: I’m a little amazed at the number of other people who also had elementary school “weddings “. I thought I was so orginal back then…

For anyone interested, my husband knows the story, I told him several years ago. He’s main question was whether or not my third grade husband was now the lead signer of a famous band because they share the same name – he isn’t, which we’re both disappointed about. I’ve never been able to find third grade husband on social media so I have no idea what happened to him. I wonder if he ever became a Ghostbuster like he dreamed he would (and offered me the position os secretary).

CakeEatingRabbit −  What is wrong with the comments here? Wtf. She learns cheating is wrong by losing lucas as a friend and not by punishment through her parents. You don’t punish your kids for stuff like that.. NTA.

Ok-Mushroom-7003 −  Oh lord, punishing her is extreme, but having a lil chat with her about why Lucas is upset with her seems like a good idea.. NTA for not wanting to punish her.

linda-stanley −  NTA. This is beyond ridiculous! These kids are **seven years old**! There can be no cheating if the people involved are not in a committed relationship. How stupid to suggest that these two little kids are in any way in that typed of relationship. They are friends. By my lights, to punish your daughter in this situation would be crazy and wrong. I would just talk to her in simple terms about trying not to hurt a friend’s feelings.

geddypee −  I am weirded out by your husband. Was he cheated on? Is he cheating? Was he never a child? It’s such a strange reaction.

Hippolyta1978 −  Just tell hubby she is preparing for her polyamorous lifestyle, that begins age 10.

[Reddit User] −  NTA and faithfulness at 7, your husband seems to have his head so far up his ass that all he can see is sh\*t. Don’t push adult crap onto a child and all she is doing is enjoying holding hands with a friend or maybe someone she felt comfortable with at that time. Also how dare Lucas parents turn this s**t on your family.

If a 7 year old is this possessive then he’s best left alone as your daughter will only end up getting hurt later on as he’s most definitely someone I wouldn’t want around my daughter. She’s free to hold hands with whoever she wants to and faithfulness comes much later in life when they start realizing the meaning of the world. As of now they are kids and don’t take the innocents of them and entrap them into a life of adult bs. Hope the young lady is keeping well and do look after her.

[Reddit User] −  NTA. Telling Layla that Lucas is upset because she played with someone else, that would be a good thing. Teaching empathy and that people exist when she is not there and all that. But lecturing and punishing her for cheating? That implies a greater understanding of interpersonal relationships and her own feelings than any 7-year-old can be expected to have. At that age children are still learning about their own feelings, and what they mean. They don’t really understand what boyfriend and girlfriend is yet.

Southern-Ad379 −  NTA. Your husband is sexualising your daughters friendship in a highly inappropriate way.