AITA for buying lower grade steaks when my in-laws visit and serving my mom and dad Wagyu.

A Reddit user shared a dilemma about serving different quality steaks to their parents and in-laws during visits. The user’s parents appreciate fine food and enjoy rare steaks, while the in-laws prefer well-done steak and aren’t as passionate about food.

To avoid wasting premium meat, the user serves lower-grade steaks to the in-laws but splurges on Wagyu for their parents. Their wife feels this is unfair, leading to a debate about whether it’s right to cater meals based on personal preferences. Read the full story below to see if you agree.

‘ AITA for buying lower grade steaks when my in-laws visit and serving my mom and dad Wagyu.’

My wife and I live far away from both of our sets of parents. We visit them a couple of times a year and they visit us about the same. My mom and dad love food. They will buy pounds of garlic and leave it in a rice maker for a month to make black garlic. They plan their vacations around amazing restaurants.

My in-laws are lovely people but boiling chicken drumsticks is fancy for them. And they refuse to eat steak that isn’t well done. I discovered this the first time I went to their home for dinner. I wasn’t even asked how I like my steak. Everyone got a well done steak.

It took me years to convince my wife to try a medium rare steak. Now she loves them. I bought some beautiful prime steak for them when they came over when we moved in together. I made theirs medium well, and I died a little inside. Her dad took it back to the grill and destroyed them. So now I buy Select grade meat.

I’ve been buying some excellent quality Wagyu for when my parents visit. Not every single time. Maybe once a year. My wife says I’m being an a**hole by not treating both families the same. I don’t think I should waste money on great food for them when I know how they will treat it.

See what others had to share with OP:

OverRice2524 −  I might get down voted but honestly I do not see the point in paying for really expensive steak for someone who is going to want it served as burnt offerings. They certainly won’t understand the difference. NTA

catsndogspls −  NTA – but perhaps you can think of something else your in-laws would appreciate a splurge on – drinks, desserts, or even an experience that would be meaningful to them (and more importantly, make your wife feel heard, validated and like her family is important to you).

KindCompetence −  NAH. Stop having steak with your in-laws. You can’t feed them waygu (and I understand why) but your wife can’t accept you being snobby about meat and giving her parents meat you know is lower quality on purpose. She’s right, it’s disrespectful to serve food you see as insulting.

So rather than fighting about it until the end of time, understand that -steak is not an in law meal- and find one that you can make with ingredients you respect and that they will enjoy.

I don’t drink wine. Fermented grapes taste bad to me. My husband and his family drink wine, study wine, are careful with wine selections. It’s absolutely wasted on me. They don’t make sure to serve me s**tty wine, they make sure the freezer has my favorite upscale vodka in it.

They’re not wrong that wine has lots of nuance and finding good wines is fun. I’m not wrong that I find wine basically undrinkable. You’re only an AH if you demand that someone wins the steak fight, instead of putting all of that energy into find another showpiece meal you can all enjoy each other’s company over. And invite me over for steak, we will have a blast.

Cheftyler1980 −  NTA – a burned hunk of select steak tastes the same as a burned hunk of Wagyu, this is a financial decision based on the tastes of your guests.

[Reddit User] −  Info why don’t you just *not serve them steak*. Surely they must like other meals.

TheSarcasmChasm −  NAH. Your wife is being silly. If she wants to feed her parents destroyed wagyu, as long as she works, let her buy it. Otherwise, start grilling chicken, or make a turkey or a ham – stuff reserved for holidays and celebrations.

That way they feel special and you don’t waste quality steaks that someone else would appreciate more. It’s not about equality, it’s literally a waste to feed those people specialty foods.

Renzology026 −  NTA. This is an absurd demand from your wife. “I want you to waste money by ruining very nice and very expensive steaks OR I want you to only serve cheap steak to your parents”.

Are you otherwise a good host to them? Do you offer them something to drink? Do you make them feel welcome? Do you serve other things (snacks, apps, sides) that are quality? Then you’re doing fine by them. I guess if you serve them Kraft Mac and carlo rossi to go with their steak maybe I would start to waver a bit.

no_good_namez −  INFO if they don’t care about steak, what are you doing to treat your in-laws in ways that they do appreciate?

[Reddit User] −  I think NTA *not* because of the well done steak thing – I agree but I also think people should cook their food however they want – but because you said your in laws aren’t really food people.

So it’s not about being snobby it’s about not spending the money on something they won’t appreciate. *However* I would caution/advise that you do spend that money on something they WILL appreciate and make sure you’re treating them equally overall.

MizLucinda −  I wish there was a “this is dumb” voting option because this is dumb. There are a million other dinners to serve. If you don’t want to eat shingle-quality London broil, or whatever the f**k it is they eat, then make something else. I guess I vote ESH because this is all so dumb.

Do you think the Redditor is right to adjust the quality of steaks based on how they’ll be cooked, or should all guests be served equally regardless of taste? How do you balance catering to different preferences when hosting? Share your thoughts below!