AITA for saying things my wife gives our infant in front of our child’s doctor?

A father shared his frustration over his wife feeding their 2-month-old baby foods like mashed potatoes, sweet tea, and oatmeal despite their pediatrician’s advice to stick to formula. During a doctor’s visit, the wife claimed she only fed the baby formula, prompting the father to reveal the truth.

The pediatrician warned that these foods were likely causing the baby’s stomach issues, but the wife accused him of “ratting her out” and making her look like a bad parent. The father wonders if he’s the asshole for his reaction and for calling his wife out in front of the doctor.

‘ AITA for saying things my wife gives our infant in front of our child’s doctor?’

My wife and I have a 2 month old daughter. For the past month she’s been feeding our baby mashed potatoes, applesauce, sweet tea, assorted fruit juices and other things. The last time we went to the doctor, our pediatrician told us to not give her anything but formula until she was between 4-6 months old.

My wife does not care and says she knows best for our child and our doctor isn’t the parent. Our daughter is always constipated and screams for hours at night that my wife says Is “colic” I’ve asked her numerous times to stop feeding our infant table food and go back to giving her formula.

She is only feeding her one or two bottles of formula while I’m at work. The other morning she was cooking scrambled eggs and oatmeal and I was off work so I started to make our daughter a bottle and feed her and she stopped me and told me not to fill her up with that and she wanted her to eat her oatmeal first.

I fed her the bottle anyway after a huge argument. Well baby had a doctors appointment and my wife was talking about the colic and screaming fits and when the doctor asked what she was feeding her she only said “formula” nothing else.

I was angry because she lied and told her the pediatrician every single thing that she had been giving her and the doctor strongly recommended her to stop and that she was causing stomach upset and more than likely the reason for all her stomach issues.

Instead of being apologetic for this, my wife is mad at me and told me I “ratted” her out to the doctor and that she doesn’t have to listen to her and that it’s only a recommendation and that I made her look like a bad parent.

I tell her what a selfish little twat she was being and now she wants me to go stay with my parents until she forgives me and asks me to come home. AITA here? I maybe I shouldn’t have flew mad at her and said some things I did. Maybe I should apologize to my wife.

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

Forever_Pancakes −  NTA. What your wife is doing to your daughter can cause long term damage to her digestive system. Not giving her formula can also contribute to her loosing weight and not growing. I would suggest you talk to your pediatrician away from your wife for her to get a full picture. Its abuse.

Edit: Because this is at the top, OP I urge you to supervise every feeding. Your daughter can choke to death having food, she’s not ready for anything but milk. This is extremely serious.

LAKingsofMetal −  So she asks the Dr. about the problem and then expects some magical cure when she lies about what she’s feeding the baby? And also wants to reject the medical advice because she’s what…an expert? Do what’s right for your child, based on the advice of doctors. Your wife sounds way off base on this one.. NTA.

Edit to add: your wife knows she’s wrong. Saying you “ratted” her out is telling to me. Not sure why she’s putting the health of your child at risk to be the obstinate parent.

Pleasant_Quantity263 −  NTA But something is going on with your wife. Your doctor is absolutely right your daughter can’t digest the food she is being given. Not only can it cause damage but your daughter is literally screaming in pain from , trying to digest it. I’m not a psychologist but I have had a baby before.

The first months postpartum are very hard and sometimes postpartum depression comes out in many ways. Paranoia; thinking everyone is out to get you and your baby, rage at feeling that anyone else knows more than you and other strange thoughts.

The fact that your wife is lying to the doctor and knowing your daughters pain and constipation is coming from being fed table food and juice is alarming. I would try and talk to her about why she thinks the food is better for the baby.

Does she has something against formula? But I also think she’s needs someone to talk to and sort our her feelings see if postpartum depression is something she’s struggling with and how to help right away.

HotWifeJ2021 −  NTA. Your wife is harming your child by doing this. I would be so very angry. Your pediatrician may call CPS about this if it doesn’t stop immediately. I kind of hope they do.

Ella-wese −  She’s absolutely right, you should leave, make damn sure you take that poor baby with you! NTA!

stopforgettingevery −  NTA- is this normal for her? I ask just in case some postpartum issue. This quite odd behavior. Your child is going to be vitamin deprived. Baby will have potential damage to body. You need to protect your baby.

See if you can take some time off of work to be there to ensure baby is being fed properly. Or maybe trusted family member. You will be the ass if you don’t intervene and ensure baby is safe.

4thxtofollowtherules −  NTA your wife is abusing your child. Step up and do something about it. Do not leave to go to your parent’s unless you take your child with you.

katyg333 −  Definitely not TA. Your wife is endangering your child. It could even be grounds for CPS to be involved.

Silent_Hastati −  NTA. There are three people you never lie to if you don’t want bad things to happen to you. Your tax guy, your lawyer, and your doctor.
Garbage in garbage out rules apply.

redmsg −  NTA what your wife is doing is could be developmentally damaging to your child. Formula or b**ast milk have the right balance of fats and nutritions to help an infant’s brain develop and to properly grow, what your wife is feeding your daughter does not.

Unless your wife has a degree in pediatric nutrition she does not know better than the resources the Dr has. Honestly if my spouse was doing this I would remove myself and the child from the situation until I could trust my spouse to make better decisions for my child.