AITA? My husband won’t let me sleep ?

A Reddit user (unspecified gender) shares a conflict with their husband over nighttime phone calls that disturb their much-needed sleep. Working grueling 12-16 hour shifts at a dangerous, high-focus job, they repeatedly asked their husband to either delay his truck-driver friend’s late-night calls or take them elsewhere.

He refused, prioritizing his friend’s needs over their rest. To cope, the user began sleeping in the guest room before work shifts, which has upset their husband. For the full details and community reactions, read the story below.

‘ AITA? My husband won’t let me sleep?’

Ok, so I work 12 to 16 hour shifts at an extremely labor intensive job that requires the use of heavy machinery. My job is dangerous and I need to stay focused while at work. This part is important. So, my husband has a friend who is a truck driver. His friend calls at odd hours every night. (Usually between 1am and 4am.)

My husband always accepts these calls and then proceeds to have very loud, very long conversations right next to me which inevitably wakes me up and keeps me awake. I have asked him firmly, but politely, to either take the calls at a later hour, or to leave the room while he talks so that my sleep is not disturbed.

He refuses to do this, and says that he has to answer the calls to help keep his friend awake while he is on the road. I understand wanting to help a friend, but I do not understand needing to keep me awake while doing it. So, for the last week,

I have been locking myself in the guest bedroom and sleeping on the guest bed when I have a shift scheduled. Now my husband is angry and says that it hurts his feelings that I am no longer sleeping next to him every night. AITA?

See what others had to share with OP:

IChooseYouSnorlax −  NTA He’s upset at a problem HE IS CREATING. He’s 100% able to resolve this issue, you’re not responsible for his lack of consideration towards your needs. The mental gymnastics he’s applying to a situation of his own creation are impressive.

EradiKate −  NTA. He’s putting your health and job at risk. Separate bedrooms are great for lots of couples!

angelique_t −  NTA, he doesn’t need to be in the bedroom for his call!! And him acting like you hurt his feelings is childish and m**ipulative.

[Reddit User] −  You are definitely NTA. Sleep deprivation has very real consequences for your health and functioning. Why is he prioritizing his friend’s sleep needs over yours? The fact that you’ve communicated this to him already without him empathizing and adjusting his behavior is concerning.

DaniCapsFan −  So he’s taking long, loud calls next to you and disrupting your sleep; he won’t go in another room to take the calls; and he’s mad that you decided to sleep elsewhere? Make it clear to him: If he wants you sleeping next to him, he either stops taking the calls (doesn’t his friend have someone else they can call? Can’t they play loud radio or something?) or he takes them in another room. Otherwise, you’ll be sleeping elsewhere.. NTA

dca_user −  NTA. He is prioritizating his friends life over yours. Maybe he can sleep with his friend. Just move into the other bedroom. Then make your husband find a couples counselor for both of you

callsignhotdog −  Now my husband is angry and says that it hurts his feelings that I am no longer sleeping next to him every night. You weren’t **sleeping** next to him, that’s the whole problem. Definitely NTA. He clearly understands the importance of people not falling asleep on the job, so why doesn’t he offer you the same courtesy?

[Reddit User] −  Omg NTA I couldn’t imagine dealing with this on the regular. Your husband is a selfish AH and being completely ridiculous – seriously who thinks taking phone calls in the middle of the night whilst next to someone is ok??

robjmcm −  Honestly, do people ask these kind of questions sincerely? I don’t mean this in any way offensive but do you really need people to tell you that you are not an a**hole because you go and sleep in another room because your husband is waking up at stupid o’clock and having a full blown convo on the phone?

PaganCHICK720 −  INFO: What reason does he give for refusing to take the call to another room?