AITA for not allowing my “disabled” neighbor to park in my driveway and getting her car towed, despite the previous owner allowing it?

A Reddit user shares a conflict with a neighbor who had been using the driveway of their newly purchased home. The previous owner had allowed the neighbor, who claims to have a disability, to park there, but the new homeowner does not agree with this arrangement.

After multiple requests for the neighbor to move her car, the user had her SUV towed. The neighbor is angry, and other neighbors are giving dirty looks. The user feels conflicted but stands firm on the principle of having control over their own property. Read the full story below for more details.

‘ AITA for not allowing my “disabled” neighbor to park in my driveway and getting her car towed, despite the previous owner allowing it?’

I bought a house a few months ago and moved in last month. The previous owner was a friendly old man that could no longer live alone so he decided to sell and move in with his daughter. Just to be clear I put disabled in quotation marks because the lady in question is just really really overweight and I am not sure if that counts as disabled.

Now apparantly he had been allowing use of his driveway to his “disabled” neighbor lady largely because street parking is extremely limited and what little street parking there is, is pretty much instantly occupied. What I am saying is unless you have a driveway you end up having to park a good 5 minute walk away and that’s the best case scenario.

Obviously I was unaware of this so I was surprised to see a large SUV parked in my driveway when I moved in. I ended up having to knock on several doors asking who’s car it was because the movers could not stand still on the busy road too long.

I figured out it was the neighbors car so after a good 10 minutes of knocking an extremely angry enormous lady opened the door. I told her to move the car and she immediatly started arguing that the neighbor said it was fine, I told her he moved out, I moved in and no it is not fine and to move it because the movers need to unload my stuff. She begrudgingly did, I ended up seeing her walking back half an hour later completely wet with sweat.

Now a few days later I went back to work and lo and behold, the SUV is parked in my driveway again. I go over there again, spend 20 minutes knocking on the door before this lady opens the door, agaon, visibly angry. I tell her to move her car, my driveway is not public parking.

She protests saying her ankles can’t take walking the distance and claims I can easily walk, I tell her that while that might be true, it’s my g**damn driveway and I want to park there myself. Again she moves her car, again I spot her half an hour later drenched in sweat making her way home.

Well it happened again a week ago and this time she would not open her door, I got tired of it and had her SUV towed. She of course came to my house to scream at me, I told her to get the hell of off my property. A few days later I had a small fence installed with a lock on it to make sure it did not happen again.

I have since been getting dirty looks from her and one other neighbor and when I told my mom she told me I should be nicer to people. I do feel sort of bad too, she clearly struggles with the walk after all.

Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

[Reddit User] −  NTA. Plain and simple. She should get a handicapped spot designated for her if it really is that much of an issue.

TLMinOB −  NTA. You bought a house with a driveway. It’s yours. If she’s truly disabled, she can contact the city to have them designate a handicap parking spot. If she had handicap tags, she can use that. Otherwise, she’s trespassing.

NorthernLitUp −  NTA: This is your house and your driveway. You asked her several times nicely but she ignored you. Her situation is not your fault and not your problem to solve.

[Reddit User] −  NTA, but you should know that many disabilities are not visible. She could have any number of issues that make it difficult for her to move around, and you would have zero idea. In addition, even if her disability is just from being fat (which I doubt – usually it’s a chicken/egg issue), if she’s disabled, she’s disabled – it doesn’t matter why. You’re making this a moral issue when it’s not.

For instance, if someone loses their legs in an accident, do you want to know how it happened before you decide that it’s ok for them to be termed disabled? If they were a drunk driver who killed a family of 3, do they not get a disabled designation?

But going back and reading again – it doesn’t seem like she claimed to be disabled – that seems to be a label you are using? It’s confusing. You can tell her though that she can call the city and tell them she needs disabled parking. They may be able to do something.

CreepyOrlando −  NTA. This woman is delusional to do it after learning someone else BOUGHT THE HOUSE and wants to USE THEIR OWN DRIVEWAY. My god the audacity of some people is astounding.

IChooseYouSnorlax −  NTA. It’s your driveway. You told her not to park there (which is absolutely understandable, regardless of her arrangement with the previous owner). She has no right to your driveway. It’s sad that she is obviously struggling, but it’s not your problem.

roadsidechicory −  ESH. She has no right to act entitled to your driveway, and should have politely discussed it with you and tried to figure out a solution. However, you have not seen her medical chart and have no idea that her only health problem is her weight, regardless of what neighbors may have gossiped or what you think you can tell from looking at her.

Tons of people have invisible illnesses, and being obese does not cancel out those illnesses. In fact, many illnesses often lead to weight gain, like long-term steroid treatment. So she is acting rudely, and you are making assumptions and being ableist. You both s**k.

sauce_on_sneakers −  NTA. F**k that, f**k her. It’s your driveway. She needa go to the city and get a handicap parking spot sign for the street right in front of her house if it’s really that bad for her. Although that won’t help if she’s just fat and not actually deemed handicapped and doesn’t have a handicap placard.

But her weight and vehicle are not your problem. She needs to figure it out. Also good for you for getting her car towed after you repeatedly told her she can’t park on your property. Apparently that’s the only way she was gonna learn. And as for your mom saying be nicer. Well, your neighbor wasn’t very nice to you and has zero respect for you, your property, or your wishes. So do you my guy.

[Reddit User] −  NTA as you’re correct it is your driveway whether she can walk or not. What I would say is, please don’t say things like ‘shes JUST really really fat’ because although that’s all you see, she could also have other ailments that mean she’s disabled. Please remember that disabilities are not ALWAYS visible. Is it likely she has weight related disabilities? Yes! Totally.

It is also possible she is overweight due to disabilities (it can go both ways, I was on steroids at 20 (under neurology) and they caused me to gain weight despite going to the gym 5 times a week and eating properly. I was taken off those steroids and I eventually lost the weight but I know people who are on steroids for life and they are a difficult medication to work with.

IsThisRealLife201520 −  NTA. It is your driveway and she should have never assumed she could still park there after the previous owner moved. I live in a city and people can pay for parking spots in front of their homes that come with a sign and sticker so that no one will park there and of they do, they will get towed. She should look that up.

Do you think the user was right to have the car towed for repeatedly parking in their driveway, or should they have been more accommodating given the neighbor’s struggles? How would you handle a situation where a previous arrangement with a neighbor affects you as the new homeowner? Share your thoughts below!